Forced to have the Player's Kid (Book One of The Great Age Plague Series)

Chapter Fifteen

Josh pulled back instantly, his eyes wide.

"I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" he asked immediatly. I almost burst out laughing. His eyes were wide like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar (no his hand was just somewhere else....) and he bit his lip worriedly, like he'd broken me or something. My stomach flipped. If he was this concerned, maybe I should have let him go one.

No! Stupid Adira! Sex, although I would be forced to have it soon, was not something I should go looking for. It only meant trouble. Besides, I wanted my first time to be special, even if it was with Josh, and special did not mean doing it on the couch because we felt horny after some party. I shivered. Had I really felt horny for a real guy? That was a first.

I blushed, looking down at my oversized sweater. Josh would never understand. He had always gone out with girls like Crystal who just loved sex, confident, sexy girls who looked like models in swimsuits and knew how to hold their alcohol, unlike me. How could I possibly explain to him that the idea of sex, even though at this moment intriguing, was equally as terrifying?

"I um.. I'm not.... ready," I mumbled into my sweater. Josh was silent. I expected a joke, a jeer, maybe even a command to leave his house and stop being stupid. But to my shock, he pulled me into a gentle hug.

"You're a virgin?" he whispered into my hair. I bolted up and out of his arms, anger suddenly rushing through me. What kind of girl did he think I was?

"Of course I'm a virgin!" I spat "It's not like you can have sex with book characters!" I slapped my hand over my mouth. What a dorky thing to say! Yeesh, after this Josh would probably not ever want to have sex with me. Not even when I was ready. Feeling mortified, I did something equally as dorky and childish-- I pulled my head into my sweater with a groan. I would be safe here in sweater land.

Josh gave a little chuckle, but it was soft and half hearted. Something was on his mind.

"Adira I... I don't know what to say. I knew you didn't want to have sex with me but I didn't think.... I don't wanna be your first time," he said. My heart sank. Of course he didn't want to have sex with me. I had an ugly face that was always pushed in a book, hands that weren't soft because I'd washed them of paint so many times they'd become rough, I was poor and quiet, not sexy and confident, and to top that all off I had a pudge of tummy fat just a little below my navel. Why would someone popular and hot like Josh want to have sex with me? I felt stupid for rejecting him a minute ago. It's not like he was really trying to make a move-- he was probably just trying to make me feel better. He wasn't attracted to me.

"I understand," I whispered into my sweater, feeling tears prick my eyes. Josh gasped, sounding mortified.

"No, no I didn't mean that! I just mean... it's not fair to you Adira. Unlike the other girls, you're being forced to lose your virginity to me. You don't even like me," he said sadly. I poked my head out of my sweater tentatively.

"Do you think I would've just done... that with you if I didn't like you?" I said with a hint of anger. Once again, what kind of girl did he think I was? Josh smiled, a little red tinting his face. Was he blushing?

"Oh," he said, pausing for a moment to smile bigger. He looked so pleased with himself, but not in the cocky manner he usually was. I pulled my head out of my sweater, smoothing down my hair.

"Look Adira.... I have a plan," said Josh. I cocked my head to the side. Uh oh. What kind of plan was this? I saw a familiar gleam in his eyes and a hint of his old, player self. I swallowed hard. This could not be good.

***

After stopping at my house, we were on a beach. I was dressed in floral circle skirt and floppy hat, in response to Josh to "change into something nice that you can wear on the beach." Before I left, I smoothed a bit of self-tanner on my skin and took out my bun, making my hair into beachy waves. Well, it was a start. On the beach, the air hinted at the dying of summer with a smell of fall, but there was a certain degree of needed warmth left in the air. Josh was dressed significantly nicer too, wearing a button up shirt. What was all this about?

Josh took my hand, leading me across the desolate beach. Blue-green waves lapped at the shore. Far off a seagull screamed, adding a little noise to the calm monotone of the waves crashing off the rocks nearby. The sand was orangey-pink with the sunset above, which turned the water into an ombre of pink, orange, yellow, baby yellow, light blue, and eventually, silver. Far off, I saw the backs of dolphins-- silver humps the popped up and down with no definite dolphin features-- jumping around in the last of the summer waves. The air smelled like my sea salt hairspray, but a bit more briny and less floral. My heart instantly calmed. I loved the beach. I was blessed to live so close to one.

(A/N-- For those of you close readers, I had the setting in Illinois before, but I've changed it to Maryland at this point. I will go back and make some edits later.)

At last, Josh took us to an alcove of rock that took a little hop over some tide pools to get to. The cave glittered in the sunset, and starfish littered the ground. Josh released my hand.

"Sometimes I come here to think," he said at last. I nodded, my mouth wide open at the beauty of nature. Josh looked down shyly and bent over, picking up a red starfish. Reeling his hand back, he tossed the starfish far out into the sea. Wow. No wonder he was one of our best football players-- he really could throw. Josh smiled at me gently. I reached out, taking his hand myself, liking the warmness of it in mine in juxtaposition to the cool, gentle ocean breeze. Josh squeezed my hand.

"I've never taken a girl here before. Sometimes I will sit here for hours, just tossing the starfish back into the sea," he said simply. I was breathtaken by the whole scene, so I didn't bother to say anything. It amazed me that someone who seemed so shallow was actually so mysterious and profound-- from a wide book collection, to that picture of his parents, secret rooms, and secret spots, Josh continued to surprise me into thinking that maybe... maybe that matching system wasn't so wrong after all. Right as I was thinking about this and how much I truly began to love him, Josh got down on one knee. I gasped.

"Adira.... I know we are already married but.... will you actually marry me?"

A/N-- Sorry for the switch up in setting. So, what do you guys think? Will she say yes? Will the baby making continue ;) Find out in the next chapter, and don't forget to leave a comment and vote.

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