The Strays; Kellin Quinn Love Story {Completed}

Chapter 5

I went to group that day to make Kellin happy. I was almost late and I saw him looking around. I had my dark plum purple hair down and wore my black Paramore ripped muscle shirt with my black skinny jeans that had rips down my thighs, along with my vans. I plopped down on the seat next to him and he looked over and smiled at me.

"I thought you weren't going to show up." He whispered to me leaning closer. I smiled.

"And leave you? Noo." I laughed. He smiled and turned away as we began. This time I actually listened to these people's stories. I heard about how a girl survived from suicide. She hung herself and there was a red mark around her neck that was puffy but healing. She was new and she had long black hair. Her name was Claire. She was tall, had sparkling blue eyes, and a soft face. Listening to her story I could relate with how she felt alone and like no one cares. I'm sure everyone could relate to her. I looked over at Kellin and he turned and smiled at me. By the end of group I went up to her and introduced myself. I told her how strong and beautiful I thought she was. She looked up at me and hugged me.

"Thank you so much." She mumbled. I smiled as I hugged her.

"Of course. I know it's hard, and I know what it feels like to loose hope and feel like there's no way out. I know that feeling. I've over dosed before and got rushed to the ER when my parents found me. They gave me a medicine that made me puke everything up, and my parents were both so frustrated at me. I also cut too deep once. I bled out and I knew what it felt like to die. I woke up in the hospital with wires attached to me and a blood bag next to me with my wrist covered in gauge. I needed stitches, and my parents couldn't look at me and didn't understand. I've never told anyone that. I know what that feels like Claire. You're not alone and I'm so proud of you for being here. Don't give up, you're worth it." I let go of her and looked at her. She was crying and I rubbed her arms to calm her.

"Thank you so much Mae. You are so sweet and I am proud of you just as much as you are proud of me. You're beautiful, and I'm glad you're here too. You deserve to be." She smiled at me and I rubbed my thumb against my wrist thinking back to then. I saw her looking over me.

"I'll let you go, it looks like your boyfriend's waiting for you." She poked at me as she sniffled. I turned around and saw Kellin leaning against the door frame waiting for me. He looked uncomfortable and worried about something. Shit, I hope he didn't hear what I told her.

"Uh, no he's not my-"

"Bye." She waved as she walked away. I felt my cheeks heat up and tried not to show it. Kellin walked up to me. Without looking up at me. He was probably disappointed in me.

"Did that really happen to you?" I froze. He knew by my facial expressions. He wrapped his arms around me. I sighed as I took him in.

"Yes." I whispered knowing I was hurting him. He squeezed me tighter and rubbed my back along with my hair.

"You weren't supposed to hear that. I'm sorry Kellin. I know this is hur-"

"No, don't apologize. You don't need too. Everyone has those low times in their lives." He let go of me and grabbed my by my shoulders. He kissed my forehead.

"I am so proud of you as well. You do deserve to be here. You've been through so much and you're so strong. You're surviving and breathing." I lightly smiled.

"Thank you. Kellin. It really means a lot to me for you to say that. I just, I didn't want to be alive. It's really hard. I guess God was giving me a second chance at life." I smiled. He took my hand.

"Go get your guitar and we'll meet at our spot. It's time to let those emotions go into your music." He smiled. I smiled back at him.

"Okay." I smiled. He let my hand go and looked back at me before we walked away. I went to my room and grabbed my guitar. I was smiling just thinking of him. I get to hear his angelic voice again. I walked back to the room and smiled before I peeked over the wall to see him. My smile faded and I set my guitar down besides me. He was sitting on the couch playing his guitar singing as there were a group of probably 6 girls squealing over him. And the worst part yet it was my song. The sight hurt me. Well then I guess he doesn't need me to sing with him. Looks like he's busy with all of them. And besides even if I walked through all of them they would be jealous and glare at me. I can't handle that stuff and I don't want to deal with it. I took one look at him. He was laughing with the girls and then one of them sat down next to him. In my spot. She had her hands all over him and he looked like he liked it. He probably wasn't even thinking of me or remembering WE were supposed to be alone together. I shook my head and walked away slowly and sadly as I had my guitar in my hand holding it by the neck. All these thoughts going through my head. The depression was getting to me again.
The voices.
Oh god the voices.

"He doesn't need you."

"You're useless."

"You aren't as pretty as those girls."

"He doesn't like you."

"You're not as good as them obviously."

And the worst one yet,

"He just feels bad for you."

By now I was in my room laying on my bed trying my best not to cry. Jenna didn't come in because she probably thought I was out with Kellin. Yeah I bet he's having fun out there. The voices came back and I lost it.

"Get out of my head!" I screamed inside my mind. The tears began flowing and I began panting loosing my breath from crying so hard. This always happens. I hold everything in so much when I cry and fight it I start coughing to get air and then I feel like I'm going to throw up. I laid there calming myself down in the dark alone.

I cried myself to sleep dreaming of Kellin.

~
A/N: Wrote this in 2nd period lol. Had nothing to do the whole period and had a sub soo.. Yeah. (: hope you guys like it I'm sorry if this is really sad, it just came to me. Does anyone want to be Claire? 💜

Okay love you, stay strong
Bye lovelies ~