I will always love you - Tom Hiddleston fanfiction

Chapter 6

It's been a month since the party of Tom's sister Emma. After that I had to explain every detail to Britt. She wanted to hear every little gossip there was to tell her. But in order to maintain Tom and his family's privacy I didn't tell her. I did tell her about the weird line he pulled up, saying that I had to be punished for using the "F-word". She had to laugh so badly that I had to wait fifteen minutes to finish my story. Then she told me I was a fool for not letting him punish me. Rubbish! Tom and I have been friends now and I like it that way. Yes I fancy him and yes I always dreamed of more, but now that he wants to be in my life I should keep it like this.

On the other hand there is Carter. He seems more interested in a romantic affair with me than Tom. In the past month we grew closer and closer. Even our boss Mary noticed! She would tease us a lot together with Jeremy, but that didn't bother us. Instead we made it even worse. We would flirt a lot, like a lot a lot. I enjoyed it though and he did so too. There was something about him that made me get lost. I wanted to know everything about him. I wanted to get to know him better. And he was interested in me too.

After work we would hang out often. Britt told me it looked like dates, but I don't know if we should call them like that. Maybe... maybe not. Though there is some attraction between the two of us, no one had made a real move: confessing feelings or even a kiss. The physical contact we made was rather casual: touching one another's arms, a hug, a little "hello kiss" perhaps on the cheek, but nothing more.

I was on my way home, taking a stroll through the park. My headphones were blasting all my favourite songs and I got lost in my thoughts. I sat down on the grass with a book I had brought with me. Britt always said I should do this because it makes you feel like the main character of the story. And she was right! I actually enjoyed reading here in the park, music playing, the fresh air of the grass and trees together with some children or dogs running around.

I opened my book and started reading, but my concentration left quickly. I took out my agenda and a pencil. I started drawing, unconsciously. I didn't know what to draw and when I looked at it there wasn't much I could make out of it. 

I started thinking about Carter. God knows why? Do I fancy him? Do I even love him? Could I ever love him? I don't know. Wasn't there a thing once... I've heard that people who think they are in love kiss and then they know whether they are truly in love or not. I could never kiss Carter now can I? I looked around and continued drawing. Lines appeared on the paper, forming shapes. Another song started playing, one that reminded me of Tom. Another man I don't know what to think of. The only reaction I made was smiling like an idiot. That's not so unusual for me. That man makes me smile even when he's not around.

I felt someone tapping on my shoulder. 
"Hi Hazel", he said with his Australian accent.
"Oh Hi Carter, sorry I didn't see you coming."
"It's alright. Mind if I join?"
"Not at all, please", I said while making a bit of space for him. He sat down and gave me a gentle smile.
"So what brings you here", he asked.
"It's a lovely day and I wanted to spend some time outside. You?"
"I don't know. I think the same as you. Just enjoying the weather."

He looked down at my drawing and asked me the meaning of it. I handed my agenda and he took a look.
"I don't know actually. I just started drawing while thinking of-", I stopped myself. I couldn't tell him I was thinking of him! Especially not after I realized what I had drawn.
"Thinking of", he asked me.
"Someone", I said quickly. No names, no details, just someone. He smiled and complimented me on my work. 
"You have a lot of talent Hazel", he said as he handed the book back. I packed it away before this would become any more awkward. He laid his arm around me and pulled me closer. I laid my head on his shoulder and we both stared into the park. My eyes followed a young girl who had picked some flowers and gave it to her mother. I saw a dog running around that looked just like Bobby! I looked around, but couldn't see Tom. It must be someone else's dog that just looked alike.

"Hazel, I need to tell you something", Carter said carefully. We got out of the embrace and he looked at me. He looked down, took a breath and looked back up. 
"Oh fuck it", he whispered to himself. He moved closer and his lips crashed on mine. My body went numb, I didn't know what to do. He held my arms in his hands and slowly stroked them. I pulled back, catching my breath and trying to comprehend what was happening.
"Carter I-"
"You don't feel the same?"
First I need to know what I do feel.

People who think they are in love kiss and then they know whether they are truly in love or not.

I pulled him closer and kissed him once more, to his surprise this time. My arms laid themselves around his neck, his around my waist. As we pulled back I gave him a hug. 
"I think I do."

*POV TOM*

Was that Hazel over there in the grass? She was wearing headphones and it seems like she was drawing. Should I say hello? A man walked up to her. Who is he? Oh nevermind it's that guy from her work, Carter. He tapped her shoulder, she turns around. Yup it's her. He sits down next to her and they start talking while looking down at a book. Bobby started pulling at his leash.
"Wait buddy, I want to see something. You know what? Let us sit down here for a little while." I undid Bobby's leash and he ran after his ball I had taken with me. I threw it away and he went to fetch it. Hazel had seen Bobby. She turned around, her eyes scanned the park, but she didn't see me. Thank god!

Carter laid his arms around her. Who the hell does he think he is? Why is he looking at her like that? Bobby returned with his ball. I kept him close and kept watching them. He kissed her!

Anger pulses through my veins. I could strangle him! He- he kissed Hazel, my Hazel.

She was never yours Tom. You never made a move towards her. You should've told her from the beginning, yet you were to scared and now another has conquered her heart...

I looked down at the grass between my legs. My arms resting on my knees, head down. I let out a little sob. Bobby had heard it and started to push himself against me for comfort.
"I was too late Bobby", I sobbed, "I have lost her." My gaze went back to the pair and I saw her pulling back. She pulled him in for a hug and I could see her say something, but couldn't determine what. I got back up and did Bobby back at the leash.
"Come on, let's go home."

*POV HAZEL*

B: GIRL YOU DID WHAT??????

H: I kissed him is that so bad?

B: WHAT ABOUT TOM?!

H: oh please you don't think he would actually fall in love with me do ?

B: sometimes I really ask myself if I need to buy you glasses for Christmas and maybe this year I WILL
B: HAZEL HOW CAN YOU BE SO BLIND THE MAN LOVES YOU SO MUCH!!!

H: oh please stop imagining things. 
H: I love Carter and apparently he loves me too...

B: I won't be there for when he breaks your heart

H: oh don't say that
H:he's not like that

B: I am just saying that you should have taken your shot with Tom in the first place.

H: *rolls eyes*

B: *ROLLS EYES AGRESSIVELY BACK*
B: besides shouldn't your Carter boy be the one to make you roll your eyes back now?

H: shut up