Boss Lady

A Mildly Unpleasant Evening

"You look like a pufferfish with whipped cream on its head. Pufferfish are not attractive.", complimented the good doctor when I met him at our rendezvous point.

I scoffed.

"You look like a douche. I mean out of the 10 million colours in the visible spectrum, the only one you see is black. Black shirt. Black jeans. You are colour blind."

He scoffed as well.

Then he turned on his heel to go wherever the hell we were supposed to go for bagels.

This unfriendly dinner was the worst idea I had ever had but I didn't remotely want to go back to the office. And who ate bagels for dinner?!

"I will have you know that this is a vintage Balenciaga that cost me 8000 freaking dollars. You could at least pretend to like it."

Ethan turned to me, his eyes wider than saucers. Then he gave me a look of sheer incredulity. His mouth gaped wide and he exclaimed,

"You spent 8000 dollars on a pufferfish jacket?! That's my rent for four months. Jesus wench!"

And men called us dramatic.

"I am a bajillionaire. Get used to it."

He raised his hands as if waiting for heavenly lightning to strike me for such a crime. But unfortunately the sky remained clear.

"Why would you spend that much money for something that ugly?", he asked bewildered.

" It's not ugly it's tres chic as the Parisians call it. I can't help it if you don't have a fashion sense.", I fired back.

I was wearing a silver dress with an oversized jacket and cute black leather shoes with  a short heel.

I looked freaking incredible. And my hair was coiffed in a very French Marie Antoinette style. Eccentric was the trend these days and I could pull it off.

"It's not tres chic. It's tres cringy and tres ugly. The French have a way of making bad sound sexy. You look like shit and they say merde. You look ugly, they call you chic.", he said in an annoyingly good French accent.

This was an uber sexy, French tooting, pediatrician.

My ovaries are screaming.

"Well, that set the tone for the evening quite nicely.", I remarked offhandedly.

He rolled his eyes again but he was grinning just a little, little bit. Damn!

I had managed to annoy him enough.

He got us a table at the burger joint, albeit a very sophisticated burger joint. The lighting was low and light pop music played in the background. Youngsters were dancing on the floor, some were drinking at the bar.

Jeez! I was calling them youngsters. I could swear just yesterday, I had been one of them.

While I was having a mini break down, we were seated at a secluded corner by the maitre'd who seemed to know Ethan.

"I thought we were going for bagels."

"Well, I changed my mind.", he said cryptically.

He ordered two deluxe burgers. I refused the fries knowing that the gym trainer would give me the stink eye tomorrow just for the burger.

See, how difficult it is to be me.

"Well Doctor Ethan tell me about yourself? What you do? Et cetra et cetra.", I said sipping my water.