Party from Hell

5

I bit my lip, guilt rushing through my body. I hated killing, and I had gone so long without slipping up. But now, the body of a girl, who looked barely twenty, was dead on the floor. All my fault.

"Give us a minute blondie." Damon murmured to Caroline. She nodded and let me go, standing up and disappearing, probably to find a new outfit that wasn't covered in blood. I stayed kneeling on the floor, tears pooling in my eyes. "Hey." Damon crouched down next to me. "Come here."

He wrapped his arms around me and I buried my head in his shoulder, my face resting against his neck. Neither of us said anything for a few minutes. I couldn't find anything to say. Sorry I killed another person?

"It's not your fault." Damon whispered in my ear.

"But it is!" A sob escaped and Damon held me tighter. "It's still me! I did this!"

"Shh." Damon rocked us back and forth slightly as my voice grew high and frantic. "Elena, it's okay. Katehrine set you up to kill that girl. There was nothing you could have done. Not at your age." This calmed me down a little, but I still felt terrible.

I turned my head and looked at the girl. Her neck was ripped wide open, her head at an unnatural angle. I had almost decapitated her. Blood was everywhere, still dripping from the massive open wound. I cemented this sight in my mind, and then I turned away.

"I'm fine." I lied as I looked at Damon. He knew I was lying, but he didn't press it. We stood, and walked out of the room, closing the door. I knew that the next time I went in there, there would be no trace that the girl was ever there.

We went into Damon's room, or our room, since he kept insisting that it belonged to both of us. I heard the door opening and closing downstairs, and the sound slowly faded into nothing. Caroline must have ended the party. I was glad she had, not sure that I could have handled going back down there like nothing happened.

"Here." Damon handed me the pair of short shorts and tank top that I kept in his room. I took them and went into the bathroom. When I took off the white dress Katherine had put me in, there was blood stained all over my skin, and it was all over my face. I took off the rest of my clothes and turned on the shower, letting the hot water wash away the blood.

There was a flash in my mind, and I saw the girl again in my arms, screaming for help as I drained the life from her body. I sank to the floor, pressing my hands to my head as the memory came again. Then, more memories. From when I had first turned into a vampire and killed multiple people.

Everything overwhelmed me, and I screamed, trying to fight it. But I wasn't strong. The sound of my scream echoed off the glass and filled my mind, combining with the screams of my victims.

"Elena!" Damon's voice pulled me back to reality. He was just outside the shower, and I could just see his outline through the steamy glass.

"I'm okay." I called.

"What happened?" He asked.

"I..." I paused. "Remembered." Damon understood immediately.

"Do you need me?" I saw his hand pressed against the glass and I knew that he wanted to help.

"No." I mumbled. "I'll be out in a minute."

"Okay." Damon's shadow disappeared.

I sighed and then looked down. There was a knife in my hand. I blinked, turning it over. It was very real, and very much there. Testing it, I ran it along the skin of my arm just enough to cut. Blood ran from the cut, but it healed in a few seconds. I lived in the moment of pain, letting it distract me.

I knew I shouldn't, but I pressed the knife to my arm again, pressing three times as hard this time. Lots of blood spilled onto the shower floor, and I bit my lip to keep from making a sound. I did it again, again, and again, until blood was splattered all over the shower and I had multiple cuts all over my arm. They were deep, and were healing slowly. I dropped the knife with a clatter as someone opened the bathroom door.

"Do you need me to..." Damon's voice trailed off. I knew that he could see all the blood even from outside. I kicked the knife away from me as he wrenched open the door and stared down at me.

He looked at my arm covered in almost healed cuts, the bloody knife on the ground, blood everywhere, the tears on my cheeks. I looked down, not wanting to see the look in his eyes. Damon didn't move, frozen on the spot. I knew that it took a lot to render Damon speechless, but I also knew that this was one of the last things he would expect to see.

"Elena." He whispered. "Baby." He reached in to shut off the water, and there was a deathly silence. I felt my skin seal together, and looked to see that all the cuts were gone.

I stood, still looking down, utterly ashamed. I knew that it didn't have any effect, that I was a vampire, I wouldn't scar. But it was the act that counted, and it meant as much to Damon as if I had done it while human.

"Get changed." Damon said. The tone of his voice left me with nothing to say. I just stepped past him, taking a towel and wrapping it around me to dry off the water. I took the clothes back into the bedroom and put them on. I heard the water running again as I sat on the edge of the bed, and after a minute, Damon came out of the bathroom.