Chapter 19: Can't loose you again

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It had only been a few hours since I returned to my life.

Needless to say, my thoughts were in shambles. I was having trouble separating from the two lives I lived. The worst part though, was that Bahrain was only a year ago in that reality and the memories were still fresh.

I took a shivering breath and looked at Phil, he had dozed off while we were watching a movie. I cuddled closer to him, trying not to wake him up.

Daisy was sleeping in her room, the events of the previous week finally getting to all of us. Maria and Stark were staying in the guest after we returned. I hadn't met him yet but from what I've heard, he's being a pain in the ass for more than a few agents.

I failed at my attempt to move without waking Phil up as he lazily rubbed my abdomen. "Hmm"

"Did I wake you up?"

He blinked and lazily smiled, "Nah, I was just thinking."

"Oh?"

"About us. The framework. Layla." He paused, "And getting to make out with you."

I smiled, "Yeah, it has been that long, hasn't it?"

"Yeah. Well, five more months and we'll be fine."

"Fine?" I raised an eyebrow, "With a baby? Never."

"A little sleep deprivation and arguments but we'll do it."

I nodded, "Hey, Mel, you okay?"

I looked at him and shook my head. I looked back at the TV, "I can't - I- I have seven years of memory with Lay as a child. 2 years of her as an adult. It's- I know the framework was meant to redo our life's biggest regrets, but- it makes me think that-" I paused, "and then there was us. We were separated! And- And then there was Bahrain, Phil. But it was thousand times worse. At least, in our world it hadn't happened till Layla was a 20 and she wasn't even with me. I felt trapped, Phil. I felt like I was trapped in a box with a child after killing one who wasn't older than 10." I felt tears slide down my face but didn't stop, "Phil, I-"

I broke down sobbing. He wrapped his arm around me and kissed my forehead, "Oh, Melinda. I'm here." He soothingly whispered as I continued to sob.

"Phil, I - Then there's this baby, I - I don't think- I don't- I-." I continued sobbing as Phil rubbed my back.

"I don't feel so well, Phil." I whispered once I calmed down.

"Do you want water?"

"No, I - I think it's much worse that thirst."

"Let's get you to Simmons, yeah?" I nodded, "It's still her time so she's probably in the lab."

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"May! Director!" Simmons greeted us and I tried to hold myself up, "How are you doing?" She smiled.

I looked around and noticed the eyes of a way too curious Tony Stark on us. I looked at her, "Not here."

She nodded and led us to the secluded room in the back, I let my stoic mask fall and let Simmons see the tired side.

"Oh my. Are you feeling okay?"

"I- uh - no." I shook my head.

"Ok. We can work with that. What're the three main problems?"

"Sleep deprivation. Uh- hormones and uh- " I sighed as I pulled the corner of my shirt up, "This."

Simmons gasped at the sight and I looked at Phil, "How long ago?"

"After we came back. A few hours after taking the pill for the first time."

"Shit." She looked up, "Pardon my language but that's a bruise."

"Yeah."

She sighed and asked for permission before examining the area with gloves hands, I winced as she touched a sensitive spot. "Sorry."

I shook my head, "You need to get off the pills. NOW."

"But- the baby."

She sighed, "We can help both of you but not with the pills. If you took enough pills for the last week, you don't need to take them for about a month more. Hopefully, till then, it'll get better. I'd recommend sleeping pills to help you sleep but we don't have anything for the hormones."

I nodded, "Anything else?"

I shook my head and jumped off of the gurney, "Actually yeah."

I looked at Phil in confusion, "I - uh - I think I have cancer." He looked away.

My breath hitched and I felt a lump in my throat, "What?" I whispered.

I let a tear slide down my cheek, "Phil?"

"I- I'm sorry, Melinda." I looked down, "I have trouble breathing. Sometimes."

"Oh, sir." Simmons said, "We can run a test if you want but- the results won't come back till a few days."

He nodded and looked at me, "Could you uh- Could you give us a few minutes?"

"Of course." Simmons left the room.

"Melinda, I-"

"Don't, Phil." I looked at him with glossy eyes, "It's not right that you kept it a secret from me. After everything we've been through! You don't hide something this important from me! Not from me, Phil." I whispered the last part, "Not when we're having this baby. Not when I need you. Phil, you can't leave me. Please."

"I'm going to get the test done, Melinda." I nodded.

"If it's true- and - and you don't have that - that long," I met his eyes, "And if we find a cure, don't waste it. Please. I can't loose you. Not again." I whispered.

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