pulling on your heart to push my luck

The Morning After

We slept together in her bed again for the first time in days, if for no other reason than that we could. She hadn't asked me to stay, citing a fear of nightmares or some other danger, and I hadn't offered. It just happened, and we both slept soundly.

We didn't get a chance to catch our breath until we were alone in her room. Senna fell apart as soon as we got back and overfed the both of us, insistent that Korra must be starving after not having eaten for days. Korra didn't argue. I don't know if she was as hungry as her mom presumed her to be, but she ate until she couldn't anymore, and we went to bed soon afterwards. She hadn't eaten in days, and she technically hadn't gotten any sleep, either.

We didn't ask about what she had experienced while she was gone–we treated the evening almost as a celebration, a reunion that would have been ruined by prying. It wasn't until the following afternoon that we spoke about it. We were outside playing with Naga, Korra would throw a ball and Naga and I would race one another to get it. It was the first time in days that Naga seemed like herself again.

About twenty minutes in I found myself lagging behind her as we both ran back towards Korra. She had beaten me to the ball, again, and I finally conceded as Korra threw it before I had even made it back to her.

"She was pretty miserable without you," I told her, panting as I finally made it back to where she sat on her doorstep.

"What, and you weren't?" She teased.

I let out a laugh, but it came out harsh as I struggled to catch my breath. "I was fucking terrified," I confessed.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," I assured her as Naga came bounding past me. She dropped the ball in front of Korra, who immediately threw it again for her. "I'm sorry that I lost you like that."

"What?" She laughed. "You didn't lose me! I got lost. It happens."

I wished she wouldn't coddle me like that. "Does it?"

"I mean, it did a few days ago." She averted her gaze towards the horizon. "I just don't know how it happened."

"Me neither," I said. I had finally caught my breath, but I gave myself a few seconds before mustering up the strength to ask her what had happened while she was gone.

"Nothing," was her answer.

"What do you mean, 'nothing'?" I asked.

She shrugged. "Nothing. I don't remember a thing. One moment I was winking at you and the next I was lying in the snow, trying to pull you away from the portal."

"Wait," I said, starting to shiver. "It was you that pulled me back?"

"Yeah, it was like you were almost melting into it," she said, and looked back up at me. "Are you cold? We can go back inside."

"I'm fine," I said, waving my hand in the air as if I was trying to brush away her concern. "You really don't remember anything?"

"No. Except-" she took a deep breath and exhaled again, but it came back out as a chuckle, as if whatever she was about to say was ridiculous. From her point of view, I could see why it was. "I think I remember hearing you. Or feeling you. I couldn't see you, though, I just sorta knew you were there."

She posed it as more of a question than a statement. She didn't trust her own memory of it, but I knew what she meant. I remembered Katara saying that whoever went looking for Korra would need to know her well enough to recognize her spirit, but I never thought that Korra might recognize mine. "When I rescued you, you mean," I said.

She shook her head. "It was before that."

"How long before?"

"I really don't know, Asami," she said. "I closed my eyes, and then I was awake again at the entrance to the portal. It was somewhere in between."