I Too am a Him

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Alex

I hated my life, my grades were low,Nate hated me, Zara hated me, my whole family hated me. Everyone hated me.

I hated myself.

I didn't go to school for a day, I needed a break to try and figure things out.

My phone was flooded with messages:

TW: METION OF S$uic1de

Go kill yourself

You deserve nothing

Nobody likes you

Your worthless

The world would be better if you were never on it

Freak

I feel shamed of our school, because of you.

You hang yourself

Jump of a bridge.

I began breaking down into tears and couldn't go to sleep that night.

The next day, I didn't go to school either.

I decided to go on a walk, to try get my kind of things, but it didn't work. In fact it made things worse. It was the time when everyone would be coming home from school so I went to somewhere nobody would see me. I occasionally took Nate here.

It was near an abandoned bridge. I pulled out my notepad and began writing something. Then I put it on the bridge, with some cello tape.

I sat on the edge, sobbing. Then I stood up and checked the note seeing if it was okay.

If you are reading this, I have already jumped, I am gone.

Nobody cares anyway, but if you are called Nate, Zara or even Janet, continue reading.

Nate, I love you more then you could ever imagine. You were the light in my life and helped me realize what true love is. I didn't cheat, Angelica and James faked it, but I'm sure you don't care. Just do you know, I'm sorry. You may not even see this, and to be honest, you probably won't even attempt to find me, but I don't care, you found me when I was in a dark time, you get me your heart, your home, your love. I could never wish for anyone else.

Zara, you are my best friend. I love you so much. When you came into my life all those years ago, my heart was fixed, my smile reappeared. You always supported me and stuck with me through everything. Nate told me that you got beat up for hanging around with me. That's the best thing and best friend could do. You are my soulmate, my world, my everything.

Now Janet. I left you till last because, words don't describe how much I love you. You were the mother I never had. You helped me through all my tough times and when I wanted to end it all, I knew I could go to you to with everything. When I was getting bullied, I ran to you. You solved everything. Even your special cup of teas were enough to print a smile on my face, to piece my heart together. You always supported me no matter what. You didn't care if I was gay, and you wouldn't care if I was a girl, boy, none, a unicorn. I was your Alex, and you, were kinda my mum. I care a lot for you. You will be the one I'll be watching down on from heaven. Stay strong, mum.

Love Alex.

I stood on the edge, I knew it would be best if I jumped, I wanted to jump. But I couldn't. It felt like something was stopping me. I didn't think it could be this hard. I always thought it would be go up to the edge and jump. When I finally built everything up and was going to jump, I heard something behind me. It was a car.

Nate

There stood my love, on the side of a bridge. Janet quickly stepped on the brakes and Me, her and Zara quickly jumped up and ran to him. Janet grabbed him and pulled him away.

"What are you doing?" Janet asked, beginning to sob.

"Ending everything." Alex mumbled.

"We know Angelica and Nate were lying and faking the videos!" me and Zara said together.

"I don't care, everyone hates me."

"No they don't!" Janet reassured, "Nate and Zara sent both videos out and pointed out how they were fake."

Alex tried to force a smile.

"I love you so much Alex, and I am not letting you go," I said, running up and standing next to me.

"Alex, you know how much I love you, you could've came to me for this, like always," Janet ran up too.

"We'll obviously I love you and you dying would be how I die. Alex, I couldn't live without you. I've never doubted you. I knew something was off about them videos. You were keeping me alive all these years. You kept me smiling," Zara wiped her tears as she walked up to us.

We were now all standing on the edge of the bridge.

"It's all or nothing, and I'd sure prefer nothing," Zara said.

Alex slowly backed away from the edge. We followed.

Finally, Alex spoke, "I love you all, and I couldn't ever let something bad happen to you. Thank you so much. I can literally never show how happy I am for you."

While everyone got in the car, I ran to get something off the bridge. It was a note from Alex.

We were all listening to song in the bar, singing at the top of our lungs.

I started to read the note. I read my paragraph, I broke into tears. I then passed it to Zara, who also began crying.

Janet had the worst reaction. She tried to hold it on but she couldn't. When we got out the car, she gave Alex a massive hug.

We went into Zara and Janet's house and my dad was there, who gave me a massive hug.

"Now," my dad begun, "There is one particular girl and one boy who we need to talk to about two videos."

We agreed and that night, let's just say.. some words were said and some fists were thrown.