Chapter 17

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The two were now alone in the flower shop. Yin followed War to the employee's lounge area. And as War sat on the opposite couch in front of Yin, he hoped he could finally let go.

The two sat in silence. Yet it wasn't like last night, where they were inside the hums of gentle winds and subdued regret and longing. This time their silence was ticking on time.

"I didn't expect to see you." War's voice came out soft, his exhausted eyes looking at Yin's dark orbs. Yet, there was no more gentleness in them. And he knew why.

"Why did you leave, War?" It was just like him, always so straightforward without uncertainty.

But War was different. He wasn't made like that.

And for him to hear Yin's hesitance for the first time fractured him even more.

"Did you... fall out of love?"

War didn't want to lie anymore.

"I didn't." Like ripped stitches, the truth to tell next wasn't as painful. And such as submerging deeper, the confusion and hurt in Yin's hard eyes became thicker, clouded.

War smiled sadly, as he cast his eyes down to his lap, the scenes replaying behind the glass of his eyes. Because even after a year, they were still vivid.

"When... I moved in, I thought I finally found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with." Inhaling air into his hollow chest, softly, he spoke. "I was so in love with you."

And somehow, suddenly, it felt hard to word his sentences when everything began to rush aimlessly in his mind.

"But yet, most of the time, I was alone. Yet, I was happy that at least, to know that I still have you by my side."

Then War's voice turned faint.

"But P'Yin, you weren't fair." His eyes glazed as Yin stayed silent. "As time went on, it made me feel that I wasn't made for your world, Phi."

War smiled at the memory as his eyes were lost in time.

"Suddenly, you were working so hard every day to make things right. And I wanted nothing else but to help you. Yet, I couldn't do anything because I was too busy trying to understand everything around me that changed." He took a deep breath.

"Slowly, we began to stop seeing each other, and I told myself it was temporary. That we would go back to the way were." The small pained smile never left. "But that was a lie, wasn't it? Because I knew it wouldn't."

'Even until now.'

"You were slipping away from me, and I couldn't stop you. It was your everything that took you away from me. Wasn't it your dream, to be where you are now?" Yin remained silent.

"I was selfish, and I was upset. Yet I still wanted you. I was so in love with you, and I thought it was enough..."

Then he told him of the thoughts that nested in his mind every day. How he was afraid of losing himself from the love, he harbored. How he was afraid to lose Yin. How he couldn't do anything nevertheless.

"You can't lie to me, and say we weren't faltering. We were too tired of everything. And then..."

And as War gathered his strength to say the words that formed in a dark place of his mind, the hurt in the form of glistening tears also pooled under his eyes.

"On... the very same day, I decided to confront you about us. But you had surprised me by taking me out for a banquet. I was so happy that you wanted to take me, but you had just abandoned me most of the night. I had eavesdropped on a conversation and found out you were e-engaged with someone else." This time, he couldn't hold back the sole tear that fell from his eyes.

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