I'M NOT CRAZY! You must be delusional [ON HOLD]

I'm not crazy Part 2

Joe POV

Ugh, I hate school. It was the first day today and I didn't feel like going to homeroom. I was deep in thought when suddenly I felt something small run into me. I looked down and saw a tiny but beautiful girl on the floor.

"Ow, my butt hurts," i heard her grumble in a musical and angelic voice.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, here let me help you," I held a hand out to her. I'm usually not this chivalrous except when I'm trying to get a girl. And this girl is now my next mission. This will be easy.

"I didn't know walls could talk. Or have hands. This is so weird, I must be dreaming. But my dreams are usually weirder, and this doesn't really feel like a dream..." She mumbled to herself. Wait what? Wall? What wall? Is she talking about me?

"Um, I'm not a wall," Is this girl blind or something?

She looked at me weirdly, "What? Yes you are!"

"Can you not see me or something?"

"I can see your silhouette from down here. I haven't stood up yet so I can't see you, Wally."

I sighed and lifted her up. This girl is crazy. As she stood up, I checked her out. She was really short, more than a foot shorter than me. She had long flowing honey colored hair that framed her heart shaped face. Her skin was lightly tanned and her lips were pink. But what was the most captivating about her was her eyes. They were bright purple and framed by long lashes. At first I wondered if she was wearing contacts, but they didn't look fake to me.

"Wait, where's Wally?!" I broke out of my slight trance to see her panicking. Her words registered in my mind and I started laughing.

"WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?! I'M TRYING TO FIND WALLY!" She screamed at me. I just laughed harder.

"You... Actually... thought that... You were... Talking to... A wall?!" I said in between laughs. I cannot believe she actually thought she was talking to a wall.

"Of course I was talking to a wall! I bumped into it!" She said glaring at me.

"I was the wall. You bumped into me," I was still chuckling. I looked at her. She looked really cute when she was angry.

I felt her poke my chest. What the... Her eyes widened. "YOU'RE A ROBOT AND YOU'RE MADE OF METAL! THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING!" She exclaimed.

"What? How in the world did you come to the conclusion that I am a robot?" I am so confused.

 "Um duh, you are made of some kind of hard material that is unnormal-like so therefore you must be a robot," She stated like it was obvious.

Okay then? "Er, that 'hard material' that I am made of is called muscle, and it is normal, just not for small people like you. I have a lot of muscle, as you can see," I half bragged. Okay, I fully bragged.

I noticed Sofie spacing out. I wonder what she's thinking about... Actually, I don't. Who knows what kind of crazy things go on inside her head.

I waved my hand in front of her face. "Ahem, small person! Are you in there?"

Wha?" She replied, still slightly dazed. Then she seemed to realize what I said. "DID YOU JUST CALL ME SMALL?!"

"Yeah, because you are small, of course. Why else would I call you small?" Duh.

"I AM NOT SMALL! I AM FUN SIZED! GET IT RIGHT YOU OVER-SIZED LUG OF A MUFFIN!" She screamed. And then she kicked me in the shin! It didn't hurt at all, but I was still shocked. I then started laughing softly.

She huffed adorably and marched away. She is so cute when she's mad.

"Hey, wait up! Why are you out in the halls anyway?" I quickly caught up with her. She couln't really get really far anyway, especially with her smaller-than-average legs and my longer-than-average legs.

"I'm lost and can't find my class. Why are you out here?" She replied. She still kinda sounded pissed though...

I ignored her question. I didn't want her to know that I had just been hooking up with some slut in an empty classroom. NOT the way to get a girl.

"Oh, I can show you if you want, what homeroom do you have?"

"Um okay, I have Mr. Hall."

"I have him too! Come on, we can walk together," I grinned. Now I have an excuse to walk with her and not be labeled a stalker. "By the way, my name is Joseph, but you can call me Joe."

"Sofie." She replied shortly. Hm, Sofie. It suits her.

She seemed grumpy the whole way to the class. I kept using the lines that usually work on girls, but she just kept putting them down without a thought. No girl had ever turned me down before, and to be honest it kinda made me even more determined to get her. I haven't had a challenge in a long time, so this excited me.

 ~~~~*~~~~

Sofie didn't exactly seem too happy to be near me, but just you watch. By the end of the week, she'll be begging for me, just like all of the other girls.

I turned back to Mr. Hall and pretended to listen, while really I was just listeening to Sofie rant. Something about me being a carrot-headed, stupid, squirrel rapist.

And just so we're clear, I have never raped anyone, let alone a squirrel, in my life.

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Okay, so I know it isn't that interesting, but it will get better. I'm just trying to decide what will happen.