Treat you better | BSD

Short story | Temptations

April 29

Even though the sun had set a long time ago, humid air continued to linger on in the surroundings. Sweat gushed out endlessly from my body as I dashed up the stairs of the apartment building. "Goodbye."

His LINE message contained just this word.

I immediately understood what that meant. I had been studying and working the entire day. Right after completing the preparations for returning home, I had hurriedly headed for the apartment building where I lived. And it was on the roof, outside the fence, where I found him standing with a vacant look in his eyes. The truth is, this was the nth time I had seen him attempting to take his life by some or the other method

It is said that there are two kinds of people in this world. Humans who are inclined towards life — governed by "Eros";

And humans who are inclined towards death — governed by "Thanatos".

Most people belong to the former, yet he was unmistakably of the latter kind. That he was a human being governed by "Thanatos" was something I had known even before I began dating him. After all, the reason for our first encounter was because I had saved him from attempting suicide by drowning himself in the river.

He was a guy who had just moved into the same apartment building. With his chocolate eyes and handsome face ,he stole my heart in an instant though i had to ignore the bandages that surrounded him on his neck and hands which i assumed were due to his previous suicide attempts. Surely, it must have been love at first sight. From that moment on, we chatted about various topics and became good friends very quickly.

For me, who had been a college student with a few part time jobs and living my life in solitude, it's not like i didn't have friends of course i had them but it was more like parenting than being friends like stopping them from getting into arguments or toxic relationships or encouraging them when they felt low so it always felt like i had nobody who could do the same for me,so he was like an angel who had descended from the heavens who knew what i wanted without even me saying that.

Except, I had one doubt. Each time he had planned to take his life, he would contact me without fail. And would wait there until I arrived. I thought it would be better to die alone without telling anyone, but perhaps, somewhere in his heart, he wished for me to stop him from leaving this oxidising dream people called life and help him, like I did the first time we had met. I simply took this as an explanation for his actions. And that's why I rushed up the stairs of the apartment building this time as well.

"Haa, haa..." I reached the roof of the apartment building. I found him standing on the opposite side of the fence, with his back towards me while his beige coat fluttered in the air.

"Wait...!!" I jumped over the fence and took hold of his hand. It was cold, contrary to the weather. Apart from that i noticed something else , today his hand wasn't covered in bandages, in fact what i found even more interesting was that there was not a single scar or wound which i thought the bandages would be covering, his hands were pale and beautiful like that of a god.

"Let go." his voice was sweet and seductive. It brought me back to the present state. And i swear i loved his voice too.

"Why are you doing this...!"

"I want to die, quickly."

"Why...!"

"Because the god of death is calling for me."

He could see the 'god of death'. This was said to be a rare symptom amongst those who were governed by "Thanatos". And apart from them, no one else could see this 'god of death'.

"There's no such thing as the god of death."

"Why won't you understand...!"

When I deny the existence of a god of death, he would definitely scream and shout. It seems that to those who can see it, the god of death is most attractive. It resembles their ideal person, so to speak.

Whenever he was gazing at the sky looking at the god of death (although for me, I don't see anything else besides a clouded sky), his expression was always that of a person in love. It was as if he had completely lost his heart to it. I hated that kind of expression on his face.

"Don't look at the god of death or whatever, look at me."

"No...!" Since he tried to shake my hand off, I ended up holding his even harder without thinking.

"It hurts...!"

" Sorry..." But, isn't this your fault? Because you were trying to shake my hand off. Because you wouldn't look at me instead.

"The god of death wouldn't do such a thing...!" The darkness in my heart surged forth.

"Why..." Why is it that even though I love you so much, you would not even spare me a glance? Somewhere in my heart, I thought it was ridiculous to feel jealousy towards a god of death, but even that could not bother me anymore.

"I'm sick of this."

" I'm sick of this too."

"I'm tired."

" I'm tired too. "

"I want to die quickly."

"I want to die too!!"

At that point, he lifted his head. He was grinning broadly at me like a child whos wish was finally accepted. As soon as I saw his smiling face, I felt the darkness in my heart dissipate in an instant. Wait, could it be that?

"Did you finally... realise?"

"Yeah... I finally understood."

"Really...? That's great."

Ah, I see. The reason you called me each time you planned to commit suicide was not because you wanted my help. It was because you wanted to bring me along with you. To me, he was a god, the 'god of death'. A cool breeze blew past. Before I knew it, I could no longer feel the heat and humidity from before.

"Well then, shall we go?"

"Yeah, let's go."

"Finally a double suicide .... Rest now, chuuya"

You and me, with our hands connected. So that we could escape from the frustration the world brings us, and be together forever...

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The next day a petite boy with ginger hair was found cold near the floor of his apartment. It was a clear case of suicide but only if they knew ...

P.S :- anyone reading this book i promise i'll update asap. I am really sorry TvT