False Confidence

18

Each punch makes a bang on the canvas bag, the dent is prominent and I am no where near finishing, the anger that is reverberating through me is never ending. Every time I think I am cured from the toxic energy there is a new spurge as I relive her parents faces.

As I relive the moment we got back into the car, her tears, her stoic attitude when we got home. She went straight to bed and didn't appear till later, and even that was to collect Emma and head upstairs once more. Monday come and everything went back to 'normal' the routine that we knew continued but there was something wrong. She had her whole confidence oozing out from her at school but it seemed to crumble the minute we were home and she became this shell of a person. 

"Harper, I think you should stop." I glance up, shaken out of my thoughts as I see my dad at the bottom of the stairs, he just got back from work. "You are going to hurt yourself."

"I can't do anything else, dad." I say scrunching my face "Her parents broke something and I do not know how to fix it."

"Harper," He sighs patting the seat on the stairs as he takes one. I sit a few steps down, side ways so I can face him, my chest heaving with the effort of punching the bag in frustration. "What are we always telling you girls about people and their need to heal?"

"They have to start the process themselves." He nods but that isn't good enough. Alena needs to get better now.

"Dad, they were horrible to her, threatened to get Emma adopted, threatened to take away the money for school fees." He knows this, they all know this. "She is fading from us everyday."

"Your mom is going to take her to the doctor tomorrow." I perk up at that. "She is talking to her now, she organized an appointment with a therapist, one of her old friends from school as well as a normal doctor."

"Thanks dad." I frown "Alena has no one, so thank you."

"She has us, Harper," He says sternly "But you cannot worry yourself to the point of self-destruction, you need to take care of yourself and if I see this behavior again I will take away a privilege." He gestures to my red knuckles and almost leaden body. Something my parents have always been strict on is us not taking care of ourselves, which is valid but I can tell my father is annoyed. Maybe not at me or Alena but at the situation.

"You are in Senior year and you need to focus, let your mother and I worry about the other things."

"I care about her, dad." I whisper almost like a guilty admission and he nods. 

"I know love, and I love that you do but I want you to be focused, you can't let this derail your future. Alena would not want that and your mother and I certainly do not."

"So what can I do?"

"Right now, you can go take a shower and come for dinner." I nod and as me make our way upstairs I feel lighter. More in control of my environment because I feel less responsible for all the hurt that seems to be swimming at the surfaces. 

"Thanks dad."

He pats my head and heads in the opposite direction, I hear him greet everyone in the kitchen and then little Emma's voice chatting away happily, most probably about the baking she helped my mom do this afternoon. During my shower I make the decision to ask mom to look after Emma tomorrow so I can head to Sarah's party. I need it and I do not want to let Sarah down.