After The Run Away: Jason McCann: 3rd book to Dont Fall For The Criminal

Chapter 16 - Don't Blame Yourself

**Jasons P.O.V**

It's been about four days now since Mackenzies accident. I brought Drew here a few days ago and it was really hard for the both of them. Mackenzie was crying because obviously she can't remember her own son and she felt so bad. Even though it's not her fault. And Drew went home and cried because he misses her. It's so fucking hard.

I got lucky when she fell in love with me. How can I make her fall in love with me all over again? I sighed and propped my elbow on the arm rest, leaned my head on my fist then shut my eyes.

I'm currently sitting in the chairs outside of Mackenzies hospital room. Her mom got here this morning so I'm letting them spend time alone together. Well Gigi's in there too, but girl time I guess you could say.

"Jason" I heard her moms voice. I lifted my head quickly and looked up at her.

"Yeah?" I asked and stood up.

"You can go home to sleep you know." She said with a small smile. I took a deep breath and shook my head.

"I want to be here for her if she needs me." I told her and she smiled a little more.

"That's Mackenzies nurse right?" She quietly asked as she looked at the nurse walking towards us. I nodded quickly.

"How is everything?" The nurse asked us as she got to us.

"Actually, Mackenzies complaining of a little bit of abdominal pain. She said it isn't too bad, but it's bothering her. And she also is spotting so she might get her period so if you can grab a pad or a few for her that'd be great." Her mom said to the nurse. I didn't think anything of it till the nurse stayed quiet and looked at me. Then I remembered it's because of the miscarriage. The nurse looked back at Mackenzies mom.

"No one told you about the-" I cut the nurse off quickly.

"It completely crossed my mind, I'll tell her right now. Thank you" I said to the nurse and Mackenzies mom looked at me and looked even more upset.

"Was she pregnant? And she had a miscarriage?" She asked. I guess she put the pieces together. I nodded and put my hands on my sweatshirt pocket.

"We had no idea she was pregnant until I was told she had a miscarriage." I told her.

"Does she know?" She asked and I shook my head and sighed loudly. "That's okay. I think. I mean she asked who I was when I walked through those doors" she told me and started to tear up.

"I'm so sorry. I know how bad it hurts" I said back and looked away. I want to cry as well. It won't solve my problems so fuck that. I just feel so much emotion right now. I want to scream.

"I'm sorry for your loss, Jason" I heard her quietly say. I looked back at her and nodded. I felt like if I opened my mouth to talk, I could cry. Which I am avoiding at all cost. "Come here" she said as she pulled me into a hug. I hugged her back and took a deep breath again. No crying, Jason. Be a man.

"I feel like this is my fault" I said as I pulled away. I took another deep breath to try to relax.

"It's not your fault, Jason" She tried to tell me.

"I feel like it is" I said then looked down at my feet.

"It's not" I heard Gigi's voice. I looked up to see she walked out of the room. "Don't blame yourself" she said as she walked over to us.

"If it wasn't for me, she would have been home and not at Cameron's" I told her and she shook her head.

"None of this is your fault. You need to believe that Jason. It was an accident that could have happened anywhere, anytime. It was out of your hands" She said and I just nodded. I still blame myself. "She started to fall asleep so she's taking a nap if you want to go in there alone. You can get peace and quiet and just be in her presence" She suggest and I nodded again.