ᴅᴇᴜᴄᴇ.

6

Megan's pov:

The paparazzi followed my every move as if I was a wild animal on the loose. Some of the articles talked about how skinny I was becoming or how I looked 'upset'. I was so tired of it.

Work was the same. Paper, meetings and all of that shit. I changed everything, my employers and the board of directors, our investments. I stuck to the plan, why let my personal life affect my work life?

I walked through my apartment door, already tired from the day I've had. Everyday felt the same and that didn't help. I took off my heels and my bra and plonked myself on the bed.

Throughout the whole week, Dock kept texting me, asking me if I was alright or if I needed anything. Earlier, him, Damien and Tim all bought grocery for me without me knowing. I thanked them but I really wanted nothing to do with them.

I know eventually I'll have to tell everyone the truth about me and I'll have to talk to Jason but I just don't know where to start.

For some reason, I pulled up Jason's number on my phone.

Don't fucking talk to him.

I hesitantly hit the 'delete contact' button. There. Gone. Forever. There should be no reason for me to talk to him.

I changed into my sports bra and shorts. I took a blanket out with me and sat out in the balcony and just sighed.

The breeze let me feel a bit colder but luckily, the blanket shielded me. I sat out staring out to this Godforsaken city. Somedays, I just want to jump off this apartment complex and be done with it all.

I'm just..so tired.

Everything had been replaying in my head these days, the trauma. And I keep asking myself, what did I do to deserve this. I never harmed anyone. Yet they kill my mother, strip me from my home and move me to the spotlight. There, I would be seen as James Black's spoiled daughter.

I've heard that, 'you can't love someone unless you love yourself.' shit. I don't know to believe it or not.

Every single time I see myself In the mirror, I become ashamed. Ashamed of the woman I've become. Ashamed of how I didn't even try to fight what they did to me. My mother did not raise me like this. She trained me to fight. And I let her down.

Everyone has either disappointed me or left me. God, I don't even see my mother in my dreams anymore.

I'm so alone.

I have no one.

I'll give the world my final performance before closing the curtains for good.

I don't plan on dying, but if it does happen, so be it. I'm ready.

There is nothing to live for.