Dollhouse~Donna Beneviento x OC

Normal and Safe/Lonely

        When I opened my eyes again, I was surprised to feel a warm body against my own, the feeling of something warm and soft wrapped around me, and I tensed up, as I found Donna's face extremely fucking close to mine, as she slept. Her veil was still on, hiding the right side of her face, and she had on what looked like a gown of some kind, but her dress was the warm object wrapped around my body, one of her arms wrapped around me protectively. I didn't like the position we were in at all.. She knew I hated being touched, but here she was, touching me anyway, like it didn't matter. The longer I laid there, the more I slowly realized that I didn't hate the way her arm felt around me, and I hesitated, before moving a tiny bit closer, snuggling my head against her chest.

           I heard a very soft sigh, and then, I flinched, as her other arm wrapped around me, too, holding me against her, our bodies fully pressed against each other. What the hell was she doing? Did she even realize what she was doing? And more importantly, why the hell did my face suddenly feel like it was on fire, and my heart feel like it was about to race out of my chest? Her arms were strong, but gentle, unlike anyone else who had ever touched me. The Lycans had been all claws and fangs, ripping and tearing as they violated me, and Heisenberg was all brute strength and being rough, so having someone touch me so gently and not be trying to hurt me scared me a little.

         I began freaking out a bit, as I felt my hair trying to fall away from my left eye, but tried not to move too much, wanting to get away from that situation, but also not wanting to wake Donna up. I'd already hurt her feelings, and waking her up from what looked like a nice dream would be cruel, too, and I didn't want to be mean to her anymore. After all, she wasn't the one who created me as an experiment, or hurt me, or forced me to sleep in my own filth. She was the only one who had ever tried to be nice to me, and had taken care of me, even though she clearly was terrified of being near other people. She had made me feel.. Normal, for once. I wondered, was that what having a friend felt like? To feel normal, and for them to try and help you, even if you were an asshole to them?

          I was shaken from my thoughts, as Angie suddenly screeched from nearby, "ARE YOU TWO CUDDLING??" Almost instantly, Donna opened her eyes, and as she saw where I was, her face flushed dark red, and she kind of.. Shoved me away, her body shaking. Of course, where we were laying was a bit off the ground, so when she shoved me, I rolled, and immediately fell flat on my face on the floor of the greenhouse, tears welling up in my eyes as I tasted blood. I pulled her dress off of me as I stood up, then tossed it at her, before curling up in a dark corner nearby, shaking badly, a bit hurt. She was the one who had been grabbing me in her sleep, so why did she act like I was the one who had done something wrong? What the fuck had I done?

          I had known she hated people, but to shove me the way she did? I stayed curled up in the corner, as I heard a sigh of frustration. "Scarlet.. Scarlet, please look at me." I shook my head, afraid of hurting her feelings or pissing her off more if I did look at her, feeling a bit frightened after being shoved that way, remembering things that Heisenberg had done to me. "It's okay, Donna. I'll just stay down here.. And I'm sorry for shouting at you earlier. It isn't your fault, and I took my anger out on you. You were only trying to help.. Friends help each other, right? I really don't know. I've never had a friend." Angie started laughing, which pissed me off a bit. "What's so funny, you fucking glorified toothpick? I'm not joking. I've never had a friend, and before I came here, I'd never had someone be nice to me, or had decent food, or had a real bed, or ever even seen a bath tub, much less gotten to bathe in one. I don't see how that shit is funny at all.."

       Angie instantly stopped laughing, and she muttered, "Oh.. Sorry, kid. How was I supposed to know that shit?" I flinched, as I felt slender fingers grab my chin, and found myself forced to look into Donna's face. "I didn't mean to hurt you. But I did- I came looking for you, and found you sleeping here, and since it's so cold, I wanted to keep you warm. I suppose I fell asleep after watching over you for awhile, and I never meant to touch you without permission. I'm truly sorry.. As for being friends, I would enjoy that more than you know, but I can't. In fact, I don't think I should really be around you much at all.. It isn't because of you, but I need to stay away. I'm sorry.." With that, she pulled on her dress, grabbed Angie, and walked away, leaving me to walk back to the house alone, and to wonder why her words hurt so much..

             Over the next few days, Donna stayed true to her word, seeming to have vanished, though I knew from the abandoned tea cups and materials strewn around the various rooms I was allowed to go in that she wasn't gone. She was hiding from me, and I hated it so fucking much.. I mean, I despised being touched and all, but I actually had liked her holding me, and now, she was just abandoning me? I didn't get it. One minute, she was nice, and the next, she left me all alone, and I didn't know why, but it hurt. It hurt so much, more than even finding out my mother was alive had, and I actually found myself missing her, though we'd only known each other for less than a few days.

        She made me feel safe, which was a strange feeling, considering I had never been safe anywhere before, but with her hiding away, the shadows and strange noises of her house began getting to me, bringing terrifying nightmares and memories with them, and it was all I could do to force myself to fall asleep every night, but I rarely got any sleep at all, and was starting to feel sick and exhausted. After a few weeks had gone by, I gave up completely on Donna ever being near me again, and felt myself just give up entirely, flopping down on the bed, and stayed there, not moving to eat, or to take baths, or anything, though Elaine and Angie both tried hard to force me to get up.

      I was just too fucking tired. I'd found out I was a freak of nature, had thought I found a friend, and was abandoned again by said friend not long after. I was too lonely, too sad, and too scared and confused to do anything at all, and at that point, I didn't even care if Heisenberg found me and killed me. I even wanted him to, because the pain and emptiness that was starting to spread through me was too painful to handle, and I even tried hurting myself every day to make it stop for a little while, but that wouldn't work either. I didn't know why, but for some reason, Donna Beneviento was the only thing that could make the pain stop, even if she had helped cause it. But she was too busy hiding from me.. Maybe she thought I was a freak, too, just like everyone else. It didn't help that my "mother" had yet to show up to talk to me, making me wonder if she really even cared about me, or if she just wanted Donna to talk to me for her to cause me pain.

          Day after day, everything became more and more dark to me, and I had just given up completely, staring at the ceiling, until, eventually, one day, Angie shouted, "Heisenberg is comingggg!" I muttered, "I don't care. Let him come.. I want to die." My escape from his stupid factory had been pointless, anyway, considering I went from one form of torture to another, and I just wanted the pain to stop. My eyes widened a bit slightly, as I heard a quieter voice say, "That isn't going to happen. We have to hide you, Scarlet.. Please come out." I felt anger coil inside of me like a hot snake, and got up, wrenched the door open, then glared at Donna. "Fuck off. I said I want to die! What do you care, anyway? You and Heisenberg are both the same! I'm tired of both of your bullshit.."

           I heard her sigh, and she whispered, "I deserve that. But please, Scarlet- Just please, let me hide you." She grabbed my arm, and I felt her tense up, as she saw the fresh cuts and scars on my wrist, and I yanked my arm away, before storming off. "Scarlet, wait!" She raced after me the best she could, and grabbed my arm again. "Please, just let me hide you, and then, I'll explain everything to you. Please.. I don't want him to hurt you." For some reason, that stopped me in my tracks, and I could hear the sadness in her voice. "Fine. Hide me.. But after that, you owe me a damn good explanation." She nodded, and I sighed, letting myself be dragged off by her, wondering why the hell I seemed to just lose all rational thought when it came to being around her..