Potion

Kissed with Thunder

"Willow!"

Jesse ran towards me, embracing me in a deathly hug. I laughed, squeezing him back.

The woods surrounding us were bright. The sound of crickets chirped through the air. I could smell the pine radiating from everywhere, yet coming from nowhere. The evening sun's rays shone through the dense trees. It looked like a strange aquatic picture. Like a coral reef.

"Feels like my sun has been gone for three days." He said.

I could tell him I felt the same way. He brightened my day, made it worthwhile. His eyes smoldered, staring at me so intense. I felt my cheeks color. He ran his hand down my arm, trailing a line of fire. He reached my hand and interlaced our fingers. I blushed more deeply, but held on like I would never let go.

He laughed at my rosy cheeks.

"That never gets old."

I pretended to glare at him.

It didn't last long, because he started tickling me. I fell down to the grass. He tickled my sides, which made me laugh. It was an absurd mixture of laughing and gasping. I knew I couldn't get too excited. I had to keep that major fact in mind. He grinned and kept going. I couldn't stop giggling.

This was getting out of hand.

He wasn't going to figure out about my tumor. I wouldn't let him. Maybe one day, just not now.

So I did the one thing that came to mind. I lurched forward with all my weight, pushing as hard as I could against his chest. He stumbled back on his feet a little. Not enough to my advantage.

He came rushing back at me, a devilish smirk on his face. I wasn't going to win this little game was I?

Jesse streamlined forward, and for a second I thought he would crush me. His legs balanced on the grass beside my hips. His arms caught him, landing on either side of my head. His body hovered. My breath caught. I looked into his face, and found a smile playing on the corners of his lips. His eyes were enticing. Vibrant green, a hue of gray. His cool breath was at my ear.

"There's no way you can beat me in a tickling match, love."

My breathing hitched.

There was the quiet hum if his laughter.

Jesse leaned forward. My back was against solid ground, so I couldn't back away. Not like I wanted to. His hands pressed into the grass beside me. His eyes were scorching. Burning with a strong emotion I couldn't place. He leaned in closer. Closer. I closed my eyes. I'd never had a boyfriend before, so I didn't know what to expect. Jesse put an arm closer to my face. He caressed my cheek, ran his hand through my hair. Without opening my eyes, I lifted my hand to his face. I found his lips, lush and soft. I pressed my hand to them. It made him smile underneath my fingertips. A strange adrenaline rush shot through my veins. It was like an icy heat. It spread through my arms, and trickled to my toes. I felt a flutter in my stomach. Almost like a butterfly was trapped inside. My thoughts jumbled together. I couldn't remember what I was doing. My mind was fogged up. A haze spread like a thick slab of jelly. It coated everything in my thoughts. Reaching its tentacles to everything I could think of, and shutting it off. I couldn't resist him. He was enticing. Yet something felt off. Something wasn't right. A nagging at the back of my mind yelled at me. I tried to push it away. Jesse's hair swayed across my forehead. He must be so close, but I wouldn't open my eyes. I could feel the heat radiating off of him. His scent was herbal and minty. Fresh.



It separated my clogged thoughts.

For one brief moment, I had the opportunity to feel what it was like to have someone. Well, almost have someone.

I relished in the moment a second longer. If he got any closer, I would get excited. That means my brain tumor would go off. That means no boyfriend for Willow. That also means depression for Willow. Which means my life would practically be over.

My plan came quickly. It was simple enough. The best part was that it wouldn't hurt his feelings. It would be an 'accident.'

I went with the plan before he got any farther.

I started violently 'choking'.

Cough. Cough. Cough. My frame shook with the effort. It sounded like I had smoked ten packs a day. I had to admit, my fake coughing was pretty good. Even if it hurt to break the moment.

Jesse sat up at lighting speed.

"Willow!" He exclaimed.

"Are you okay? Oh God please don't die on me now!" It was meant to be a joke, but the words cut deep.

Jesse pulled me off the ground, looking bewildered. I knew I must look insane, with grass clinging to my hair. Choking like there was no tomorrow.

When I was sure our moment had passed, that there wasn't even a possibility of him trying to kiss me again, I stopped. I pressed my hand to my throat. My face probably looked too theatrical, but I'd never taken choking lessons.

Jesse made sure I was okay. He asked me what happened, and I made up a small fib. I had choked while laying down. It hurt me to tell him lies. It hurt so bad, I wanted to tell him right then. About my tumor. About my upcoming death. Right then, I wanted to confide in him. The feeling was so powerful, I had to dig my nails into my palms to keep from saying it.

Jesse was watching me intently, his eyes solemn. I knew he suspected something. He looked like his life's dream had just been crushed. Or he just watched a cat get run over. He had wanted to kiss me. I wanted to kiss him too, I just couldn't. I ruined his chance. My fault.

"I'm so sorry about that." I explained. This was no lie.

Jesse waved a hand nonchalantly.

It made me feel even more guilty.

Suddenly, I had a thought from what he'd said to me last week.

"Hey, didn't you say we should go out sometime? Like to the marina..." I trailed off, waiting for him to elaborate.

Jesse's head hung low, but popped right up when I said that. His face was bright. I could see a small shadow of disappointment still lingered though.

"Of course. I was planning to ask if you wanted to go." He grinned, his teeth gleaming in the sinking sun.

I took his hand in mine.

"Sounds like a plan."





Later that night,I felt horrible. Guilty and ashamed. Horrified by my lies and actions with Jesse. After I had gotten home and had dinner, I lay in my bed, thinking. Thinking about how that had been my chance. My time to feel blissful and utter peace. I had a little under a month left, and I hadn't kissed anyone in my whole life. I would never get to kiss anyone. It was a simple fact I had to face. I felt the impact my tumor was making in my life. It was ruining me. I felt like a weight was being pressed onto my heart. Everything was weighing me down. A pressure started to build in my throat. I knew what was coming next, but I wouldn't let it happen. Tears were meant for kids. Tears were for the people with messed up lives. I wasn't one of them. Sure, I was going to die soon, my father had died, and I would never get to kiss anyone, but that wasn't as bad as others. I could live with this. I swallowed down the lump in my throat. With a deep breath, I felt the tightness in my heart start to decrease. The stinging sensation in my eyes slowly cleared. There was still a small weight however, maybe two pounds, that stayed on my heart. I shook off the feeling. I had to be strong. I convinced myself. For mom. A sudden jolt took me from my thoughts.

Thunder.

It boomed outside. I didn't jump. I didn't scream.

Instead, I smiled.

It gave me comfort. The intensifying booms let me know I wasn't alone. The racket outside gave me a peaceful mind. It made me feel safe and protected. From what? I'm not sure. All I know is that is gives me the illusion that my pain is the sky's pain. All my problems are pored out into the crashing thunder. It steals my ashamed feeling. Takes it away and forms it into an angry bolt of electricity. My regret from not kissing Jesse seemed to vanish. It evaporated into the black night, disappearing completely.

All I could imagine now was me and Jesse. Happy. Together. No separation in the future. No death. Just a feeling of being complete. A drowsy fog encased my thoughts. I was stolen.

When I awoke, an excruciating pain was there to greet me.



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All I have to say is comment! :D It helps a ton.

~Audrey out