Hardships with Youtubers (UNDER EDITING)

Chapter 15

A/N: Trigger warning in this chappy, hope you enjoy! :)

Em's P.O.V.

Alot had happened in one day, when I say alot. I mean ALOT. Mitch might be dead and I was the one responsible, one day and I know I love him, and now he is probably gone. I was disgusted with myself. Liz was asleep, and I needed a night of relief but I didn't want to waste a years work. But I NEEDED this, Liz will be so disappointed but whatever it was 2 am and I was thinking crystal clear.

Screw it.

I could care less. I went to the bathroom with my Galaxy backpack, I have my blade in there just in case. I locked the bathroom door and picked out my perfectly shaped blade, way more perfect than I'll ever be. I held it up to my thigh and made a cut. It was cold, It made me calm, it showed me that I actually am part of this damned world, it fills up my emptiness and shuts up those damn voices in my head. I see the red liquid I had longed to see. I made another cut, then another, and another. At the end I had 30 more cuts, 15 on each leg, plus the other 45 cut already there so now there was 50 on each of my legs. So now I had 100 cuts hips down. I felt so proud but so disappointed at the same time. How I loved my fake smiles, they hurt so much yet felt so good. In a way I loved faking life.

I cleaned up, put the blade back in my backpack, went outside to the desk in the hotel room. I got on my laptop only to realize I had just eaten, time to have yet another trip to the bathroom, I spilled the contents of my dinner into the toilet. I was excited for Vidcon to start back up in two days. I brushed my teeth and exited the bathroom to a worried looking Liz.

"Are you ok? I heard you throw up."

"Yea i'm fine" I lied "I think I just ate to much for dinner."

"Oh ok. Night."

"Night."

With that I went back to my laptop and went onto twitter but only to see something so alarming and making me want to make more cuts. Then I get a text from Derck.

"Meet me tomorrow at Starbucks at 7:30 AM, I need to talk to you."

Perfect.

(ृʾ́꒳ʿ̀ ृ　)ु(ृʾ́꒳ʿ̀ ृ　)ु(ृʾ́꒳ʿ̀ ृ　)ु(ृʾ́꒳ʿ̀ ृ　)ु(ृʾ́꒳ʿ̀ ृ　)ु(ृʾ́꒳ʿ̀ ृ　)ु

A/N: Whooohooo! Another chapter! At 2 AM DX I can't finish just writing chapter 17 in my notebook. Sorry. Also Sorry I haven't started the new book yet :)

Bai for nao my little pancakes!

Messy Jessie out‽❤‽❤ (my mom calls me that XD)