Lethal Misfits ✅

Lethal Misfits (24)

Lethal Misfits - 24

Johnny

Over this week while struggling through sleepless nights and blurry dreams, I had imagined myself talking to Iris Bradley a lot of times. Between wondering where the conversation would pick up and contemplating all the things that were supposed to be said, I always ended up getting anxious over the prospect. My greatest fear was being unable to explain things to her that somehow I would fail to make her believe how sorry I was.

I was an asshole.

All this time I was under an illusion that things will go smoothly, I never considered failure and that resulted in the current problem we were facing. My careless attitude and over self confident had cost me too much. As I walked across the street, feeling miserable and hating my self, I came to the conclusion that all my life I had chosen the wrong path.

I could never forget who my father was or what that scum bag did to my brother. I had seen him torturing my mother with my own eyes before the divorce. I was a kid back then and the only thing I did was screaming and crying. After the divorce I thought that the bastard won't return and wreck havoc in our lives.

But my illusion and false sense of security almost took away Nolan from us. He had to suffer so much because of my fault. I could never save my family from harm, they were always hurting, I couldn't save Calla from what her parents did, I couldn't warn her not to get involved with my messed up brother. I knew that she was falling for him, her feelings were right there but despite knowing that Nolan was complicated kid, I didn't stop her - all because I wished she would be able to save him. My foolishness and assumption ended up hurting my best friend and my brother in a worst possible way.

I dragged Alice and Rowell in this, forcing them to become a part of us. I was Alice friend, I was supposed to help her and show her the right way, and instead I made her walk on a path I wanted her to walk on.

I was the one who let Kenji get involved in what we did. I let him walk on the dangerous rope as well. I was the one who let him get shot.

I was the one who made this group, thinking that chaos would solve the problem; I was always under the impression that I would be the one controlling things, people and worst of all ...lives. My mother who never misses church often said to me that God never likes arrogant people. I guess I understood her now. What had I been doing all these years? What had we been doing? Kidnapping people, stealing from homes, breaking into properties, messing up with other people lives - now as I took one look back at the things we did, it hit me that I never took responsibility of what I was doing.

I was living under pretence that I could do anything, protect anyone and always repair things. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! I should have never let myself and my friends are part of this ridiculous work. I should have saved Nolan from my father. I should have reported him long ago when he was hurting my mother. I should have told Calla not to fall for Nolan. I should have behaved like a true friend and helped Alice in a different way instead of turning her into a criminal. I should have saved Kenji from getting shot. I should have told Iris how right she was.

I should have stopped her from leaving and knowledge that I let her go because of my own words hurt so much. It burned my chest in a way that breathing became difficult.

Johnny Law had been living a false life. A life filled with errors and blunders, mistakes and regrets. All the things that was impossible to reverse.

''I am such an idiot.'' I said to myself, fisting my hands and staring up at the clear blue sky. Clear eh? Maybe it was the right time to get even with myself, clear my mind and break the mirror of delusions.