Thirteen

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Steve Lacey plays in my earbuds as I walk to school.

It's Monday. I haven't seen my dad since Friday.

He does that a lot. Leaves to wherever, becoming another leaf in the wind. Except instead of trailing away with the breeze, he returns eventually. Though I'd prefer if he were more like a leaf and just flew away for good.

Somewhere far, far, far, fucking away.

That would be ideal.

Except another thing I've acquired to my knowledge throughout the years is that my father is like one of those annoying house flies.

They disappear occasionally, hiding behind the curtains, or in other areas of the house. Except soon they end up buzzing around your face yet again. And you want to kill them.

I won't kill my dad. Although sometimes I wish I could. The thought enters my mind at times. He sparks a range within me. I think everyone in the world has met a person like that.

Whether it's a parent, another family member, a person from school, a kid at the park. Whoever.

Today I ditched the contacts. I'm wearing my big black glasses. The frames remind me of those "nerds" in a typical cliche 2000s movie. Except they're starting to grow on me. I don't hate the way they look on my face as much as I used to.

My mother also found my phone and gave it back to me this morning. She said she would've snuck it to me earlier, but she couldn't find it. My father had put it under the garbage bin in the kitchen.

A strange spot, but efficient in what he was trying to achieve I presume. I had to disinfect my phone though with a lysol wipe. It was all dusty and had crumbs on it. Gross.

Ever since my punishment has been over and I had my chat with Owen that one night, I've felt lighter. This is why I always try to keep my head up, because I know that there are good days ahead. It's important to relish in the feeling of those good days, because you never know what emotions the next day could bring.

No feeling is permanent. It's called a feeling for a reason.  That's an important thing everyone should be taught and know starting from a young age.

My thoughts are broken apart from the drop of water suddenly sitting on top of my cheek. I wipe it before it can roll down onto my neck.

Looking up I see the once clear sky being taken over by a sea of different shades of grey amongst the thick clouds.

Rain. I love rain.

Mom never let me go outside while it was raining since she said I'd get sick. I was ten, I didn't care about getting sick. I just wanted to go play in the damn rain.

The clouds begin to cry even more as I finally make it inside the school. Students move through the hallways. It smells like wet dog.

The floor is covered in dirty wet foot prints. It's also a little slippery as I walk on it.  With October approaching the weather is getting colder.  Everyone - well, almost everyone - is fully clothed.  Already wearing coats and thick sweaters to shield them from the icy wind outside and the drop of temperature.

I can't wait to see Owen and Levina.  I haven't seen Levina since I got grounded.  I miss her.

As I pass through the hallways I pause the music playing on my phone and throw my headphones in my bag.  Once I look back up I see Owen seating on the floor, leaning against the wall reading a book.

I feel like an explorer who spotted a rare species.  Except instead of finding a rare species I've found my friend Owen.  I guess the two are similar in a way, now that I think about it. After all, there is only one Owen, making him kind of "rare", I presume.

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