~7~ love? no!

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"stay up late last night sho?" I nod. "uh you can go to sleep I don't mind." Kageyama's heartbeat hurries. I smile knowing the effect I have on him then close my eyes and drift into darkness
____________________

°kags POV°

I have a small tangerine in my arms. and I don't know what to do. *internal screaming intensifies*

its fine. yea it's fine. it's ok. it'll be ok. I breathe through my thoughts but then it hits me.

NO IT WONT!! dude I don't even know what feelings i have towards him!! like he makes my heart beat fast, i want to be near him at all times, i want to talk to him all day, he makes my stomach twist. maybe I'm just sick. that makes sense, im just sick. but maybe for extra measures I should look up what having a crush is like, or ask suga. I can do both. I've never had this feeling but suga should help, he has a boyfriend ffs!

I move my left arm to my nightstand to get my phone. but then I look down and it seems like I'm on top of hinata. i- why does he look so cute. his usually smiley face is softend, his eyebrows are slightly furrowed, his beautiful brown eyes are gone  but replaced by soft skin and long eyelashes, and his arms are slightly reached up to his chest. his soft long breathing is like listening to rain fall onto the tree leaves outside your window.

I think I might love him. no! that's ridiculous! love has never brought anything but pain your not I love with him. I go back to my position, keeping hinata close. I don't want to lose him but I also don't want to feel anything towards him. I pull up my contacts and search for suga.

♡best mom♡

♡best mom♡
it's ok kageyama
I didn't really need the
meat bun anyways 😅

kags
ok... I'm still sorry though
read two days ago

kags
uh suga I have a question

♡best mom♡
no I did noottt!!
oops that was ment
for Oikawa dont question it.
what do you need?

kags
well theres someone who
makes my stomach twist,
and when I'm near them my heart races but I still want to
be near them all the time.
i think I'm sick but that doesn't
really make sense.
what does it mean??

♡best mom♡
well it seems to me
that you have a crush!!
🥺❤

kags
no! I can't!
that's stupid there no way!
I looked it up at it says that
I have heart cancer.
that makes more sense.

♡best mom♡
kageyama dont rely on Google
😐
also if you had heart cancer you
wouldn't be able to play volleyball anymore

kags
ok um maybe I don't
have heart cancer but
I cabt have a crush on him
theres no way!
c

an't*

♡best mom♡
do you want to have a
crush on him??

kags
no? yes?
idk-

♡best mom♡
well if you allow yourself
to be open with your feelings
and accept it it wont hurt.

kags
yes it will!
love has never came to
anything good!

♡best mom♡
kageyama are you ok?

kags
yes. I'm sorry I said those
things, sorry to worry you.
I'm good! :)

♡best mom♡
it's ok to be open with your
feelings kageyama it would
probably help with this crush problem.

kags
but I dont want to be
a bother.
plus I think I'll just accept the
fact that I love him and it might
show me that love can be beautiful. right?

♡best mom♡
that makes sense
but you still need to be open
with your other feelings ok?

kags
ok!
:)
read just now

ugh that was to emotionally draining. I can just accept it right?
I look down at the sleep boy next to me. my face softens at the sight. yeah its ok to accept my feelings. I put my phone back on my nightstand and let myself drift away whilst I pull hinata closer.
____________________
ngl almost cried
whilst making this one, it hit to close to home....
but anyways remember comments are always encouraged!! :>

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