Right Here By My Side

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She was standing in the middle of the room scanning her whole form in front of the mirror. She stares at her face and shut her eyes to try and control her emotions. Running her fingers to every inch of her skin. Feeling them. Tracing them. Her lips quivering and tears starting to fall from her sad eyes. How can such a beautiful being be so broken on the inside?

Her throat started to tighten as a tear trickled down her cheek. More tears raced down, wiping them every few seconds and keeping her best to muffle her upcoming sobs as she was this close to release everything. She tried. She really tried to compose herself and get it together. She tried to focus on the perfectly still silence enveloping the whole space. The room being free from any sound should help but it only added heaviness and exhaustion in her entire system. Once she opened her eyes, she let go.

A loud sob escaped her lips that tore straight through her chest. Covering her face with trembling hands and could no longer stop the dam of overflowing tears, her legs gave up and met the cold floor. Like a scene in the movie, when the character is upset and wants to pour the frustrations out, he/she screams but you can't hear the heartbreaking noise they give out. You are met with a deafening silence but you can see and feel the pain in their faces without having to hear the sound of it. That's what Jennie Kim is portraying at the moment, the once dead silence is now filled with screamings and cries but in her head, everything's quiet.

It was all too much for her. Nothing in this world was ever real. She's surrounded by secrets and lies. All of the false rumors and amount of hate aren't doing much better to help her state. They never realize how it can destroy a human being. How it can immensely hurt someone's feelings. None of them do. They would blame it on her either way even when she did nothing wrong. She was just a normal girl who simply wanted to dream and that is being an artist who inspires people to follow their dreams and never ever give up. Music.

She didn't deserve any of this. She wanted to disappear from this world leaving no trace of her existence. She hates it. But mostly, she hates herself. She hates herself for bringing the people she loves down. She hates herself for being a burden of her group. And she hates herself for dragging her better half into her mess. They deserve all the love the world can offer more than her. She was upset. Agitated. Distressed. Hurt. Terrified. Disappointed. She's losing it. She wants nothing more than to have someone hold her through the pain she's feeling right now. Just then, she's engulfed into someone's arms.

Rosie

The love of her life is holding her for dear life as she is pulled closer to her chest. Stroking her hair delicately, mumbling words between kisses placed on her damped forehead. The vulnerable woman snuggled into her lover's warmth and once she heard the heartbeat against her ear, that was the last straw for her. She sobbed hysterically and felt the hug tightened causing her to tucked her face in the crook of her lover's neck, muffling her sobs. She was having struggles to breathe but when she felt a familiar hand on her tear-stained cheek and heard her mellifluous voice telling her to breathe in and out slowly, she promptly obeyed.

"Breathe in and out, Nini. That's it....."

"Let it all out......."

"I'm here..........."

"My love.........."

"Your home is here with you......"

"You're not alone...... I'm here...... We're here for you.........."

"I'm right here by your side......I promise........."

Those last two words made her realize how grateful she is to have the most compassionate, thoughtful, caring, attentive, loving, selfless and kindhearted girlfriend in the whole wide universe. She wanted to slap herself for thinking of ending everything when there's somebody, right here by her side, who unconditionally loves her and was there in every hardship she went through. She never left and didn't think of her differently when the chaos was going on. Park Chaeyoung was standing there all along when Jennie Kim needed her most. Taking her right where she belongs, in her arms. Amidst from all the noise going on the outside world, the older woman felt tranquility being in the younger woman's arms. Safe. Security. Bliss. Love.

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