Into the Woods

Chapter One

During the Games, the only thing I wanted was for it to be over. I would close my eyes, stop for a second, and think: if I can just get through this, everything will be all right.

But I did. And it isn't.

By some miracle I managed to survive the Games, and now, I often find myself wishing that I hadn't.

But I can't tell anyone that. Not my mother or Prim, who are so happy to have me home. Who think we can be a family again.

Not Gale, my best friend. At least I hope I can still call him that. Things have been awkward with him ever since I returned. Even if I could see him a lot, which I can't because he's so busy now working in the mines, I'm not sure he'd want to. I know he didn't watch the Games, but he saw enough. I told him it was only a show, but he knows that isn't true. Because while it may have been an act on my part, it certainly wasn't for Peeta.

And Peeta. Sweet, kind Peeta. I definitely can't tell him. He'd never admit it, but he's thankful for the Games. Thankful because they brought us together. If I could have one thing in the world it would be to go back to a time before I ever knew Peeta Mellark. Before the horror of the Games and the complicated emotions. But if he could have one thing, well, it would be me. And I can hardly face him because of it.

The only thing that keeps me going is knowing how happy and safe my mother and sister are. In our new home, with plenty of room and food. I know they will never want for anything again, and when I think of that, it is enough to keep me going.

I try to keep this in mind as I help them pick out drapes. Nothing in the world could be less important to me now, but they seem so excited, I work hard to keep the smile on my face. They pull out swaths of cloths, sheer yellows, flowery pinks, striped greens. I have absolutely no idea how one is supposed to choose between them. A woman named Ivy, who owns the fabric store, talks us through. She describes the different materials. She tells us what is best and easiest and nicest. I think we must be her best customers for how she's coddling us. Just when I don't think I can listen to her drone on, she pulls out a fine blue fabric. Prim's eyes light up, and I think I can make it through the afternoon.

As the shadows grow longer, my legs are shaking from sitting for so long. It's never been something I've been good at. I twist my hair impatiently to keep myself from screaming. My mother must notice my agitation.

"Which do you prefer, Katniss?" I hear her voice ask.

"Mmmhmm." I agree.

"It wasn't a yes or no question." She says pointedly.

I shoot her a dirty look. But she holds my gaze. She suddenly seems to think I need mothering and is trying to reassert herself as the head of the family. I've decided to humor her as long as she doesn't tell me what to do.

But I put on a smile that would make the Capitol proud. "No, I like the blue best." I say as I stand up. "It will match your eyes, little duck." I walk over to Prim and playfully pinch her little face. It breaks into a smile, and I pick her up and twirl her around. She's heavier than I remember. "Ohh. You're getting so big!" I exclaim.

Prim blushes. "Gale brought us lots of food." I put her down and hold her small face in my hands since I don't know what to say. I lean my forehead against hers, and she pecks me on the check.

"I'm very glad to hear that."

"Yeah," she smiles, "Gale is great." Her smile fades as she looks at me. "When is he coming by to visit?"

"Gale's got to work now, in the mines," I tell her.

Her eyes get bright again. "Mom!" she squeaks with excitement. "I've got a great idea."