𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐓 𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐄𝐒, agents of shield

[14] pure comedy

very very much unedited

𝐥𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐬

It was another regular morning where Jemma, Coulson and I were in the laboratory. Except it wasn't a regular morning because I had now become accustomed to the fact that we never had them.

Today, I was extracting intel from a man's nose. The intel was in the form of a capsule... in his nose. In a million years, I would never complain about this job because, holy fuck, did I love this job.

I grabbed the device capable of extracting the capsule sitting to my left and gave it a quick test run to make sure it was working. It would be slightly disastrous if it malfunctioned whilst nearing the man's brain.

"I bet you're usually the one holding something like this," Coulson says to break the ice.

It was clear that the man was nervous, I mean he totally had a right to be. If someone was shoving something up my nose then I would be freaking the hell out, unless it was Jemma. She was the only one I trusted to do anything with my body... medically speaking. The man's eyes move slowly to meet mine and his eyebrows were slightly furrowed.

"Don't worry, she knows what she's doing," Coulson says in an attempt to calm his nerves.

I look back from closely monitoring the tool to look at the man. My mouths turns slightly upwards as I try to give a comforting smile, although, I am almost positive it doesn't work and that I look like a psychopath. Looking like a psychopath was exactly the opposite of what this man needed.

"Whatever you do, don't breathe," I joked in my second attempt to comfort him.

Which backfires when he actually begins to take in a deep breath and holds it there. I grin at him which makes him look at me slightly confused and unsettled.

"I'm sorry, uh, that was a joke. You should, of course, feel comfortable breathing if you need to, just not through your nose. And quite frankly, minimally through your mouth," my voice lowers to a whisper at the end there.

A silence falls upon the room as I move the device closer towards his face. In these moments, concentration was key and I was not about to mess this up. After a few movements and a few seconds of searching, I finally gained a proper grasp on the capsule, and pull it out slowly to not alarm anyone.

When I finally pull out the capsule, I let out a deep breath. And I was somewhat pleased with myself that I didn't totally freak out because that would've made him freak out... well more than he already had. I look up at the screen to make sure it was clear then realised that Coulson had a grimace on his face from the previous sight.

"That's all the intel you recovered?" Coulson questioned.

"I certainly hope so," the man exhales.

"Well me too, who knows where it'd fit," my mind began to wonder, "I mean, I know where. But that would be unpleasant for all parties involved"

"Well, thank you, Agent Shaw, for keeping it safe up there," Coulson commends the man.

"And not in another body cavity," I added with a smile.

I hand the capsule over to Coulson.

"We'll push this through at The Hub," Coulson informs Shaw.

The mention of The Hub fills me and Jemma with excitement. It had been ages since I went to The Hub, and boy oh boy could I not wait.

"In fact, we're headed there right now to drop you off. Get you a change of clothes, a proper meal, you'll be good as new," the Agent says.

Coulson nods between the three of us and walks out.