unexpected feelings | marichat

chapter forty-three

adrien's pov
we were playing a short round of ultimate mecha strike when marinette put down her remote abruptly and turned to me.
"i heard what happened with kagami yesterday. i'm really sorry," she said, looking me in the eyes with a frown. she looked so apologetic, as if it had been her fault. well, technically-
"oh, thank you. it's okay, i'll be fine, really. we're still friends, which is more than i deserved after what happened. it's her i'm worried about," i admitted.
"yeah, but this is kagami. she's probably the toughest person i know. i talked to her yesterday evening, and i think she's handling it better than i ever would have," marinette smiled, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder.
"she's definitely taking everything like a champ. though i feel like you'd fare just as well, marinette," i told her, checking the clock on my wall. thirty minutes until the baby shower. i added, "should we leave? it's almost time for the party."
marinette nodded and i stood, but her hand on my wrist stopped me. she looked down shyly, almost as if deciding whether or not she really wanted to say whatever was on her mind.
   "you know... she said something funny. before i left," she began, toying with her necklace. i frowned confusedly and sat back down.
   marinette braced herself before continuing, her cheeks getting pinker by the second. "she... she said something about you, liking me? which at first, i laughed at because, come on, why would YOU, adrien agreste, like ME? but her face was so serious and then i felt bad for laughing at such an awful moment and- it's just been nagging at me since she said it. is... are... do you... you know..." she trailed off, risking a peek at my face. i chuckled a little at the fact that i'd confessed my love to her yesterday, but she had no idea.
"marinette, i thought it was obvious," i said, and she shook her head vigorously, slack-jawed. "okay... so maybe you hadn't noticed, but i did- i DO like you. you're not just a friend to me, and, well, yeah, you're amazing," i said, and she remained wide-eyed. confessing to the same girl as different people twice in two days? that has to be some kind of record.
"i... uh... wow. i had no idea. wow. um, can i ask since when?"
   that was a good question, because even i didn't know the answer to it. i knew when i'd realized it, and i knew that spending so much time with her, getting to really know her, definitely cemented it. but i had no idea when exactly i'd started truly liking her. plagg would probably say sometime as early as the start of the school year. nino would probably agree. but when had i really started to feel like she wasn't just a friend?
maybe it had been the day nathaniel was akumatized into the evillustrator. before then, i'd been lucky to even get a full sentence from her. she was sweet from what i'd seen before, very pretty, and definitely strong. but that day was the first time i'd ever truly gotten a glimpse of how amazing marinette could be. and from that moment on, i supposed the more i knew her, the more my feelings began to grow, until i finally admitted them to myself.
"truthfully, i've always thought you were pretty amazing. i mean, the day we met, the way you stood your ground... that glare you gave me... i was scared," i admitted, and she giggled before i continued. "but i guess i really started liking you when i got to know you better. maybe a few months after the school year began? i saw how you always put other's needs before your own, how you never hesitated to help anyone that needed help, even if it meant you had to give something up for yourself. you've even helped chloe, and i know you're not very fond of her. you're funny, and sweet, and kind, and adorable and... you're incredible, marinette. do you see it? because everyone else definitely does. i know i see it."
maybe it was a bit weird that i was rehashing my love for her twice in two days as two different people, but it was definitely worth it when i saw the look on her face. her cheeks were pink, her mouth agape, her eyes were glossy and- her eyes were glossy?
"oh, no, are you crying?" i asked her, panicking slightly. was i this awful at love confessions? she laughed a little and fanned her face.
"no, no, i'm not... i'm not crying. i'm just... wow. i mean, wow. you know... a few months back, i probably would have kissed you upon hearing this. you must have known i liked you, didn't you?" i considered lying for her sake, but decided against it.
"i probably wouldn't have known if it wasn't for the video you recorded on the anniversary of my mother's disappearance. i managed to get it back, and... yeah."
marinette's eyes widened again and her left eye started twitching before she promptly dug her head into her hands. "oh my god! you saw that? i thought that had been deleted! noo, this is a disaster!"
"i thought that video was made for me to see," i laughed, but she mumbled something unintelligible into her hands and refused to lift up her face. i gently coaxed her to look at me. "hey, i liked the video, you know. it was lovely. you don't have to be embarrassed about it."
she smiled slightly, encouraged, and continued with what she was saying earlier. "anyway, yeah. in all honesty, i'd be lying if i said i didn't sort of feel like kissing you right now. but... i can't. you're amazing adrien, and i'd probably have asked you out long ago if i wasn't such a coward but... i can't just lie to you. i can't pretend to give my whole heart to you when now... so much of it belongs to someone else. i'm so sorry. i can't lead you on. you're my friend, and i care about you too much for that to happen."
   i smiled at her. "i get that, marinette. your friendship means the world to me. as long as i have that, i'm happy," i assured her, and she smiled warmly, the relief on her face palpable. she closed the space between us and embraced me.
   "thank you," she whispered before pulling away.
   "anytime, marinette. so, who's the lucky guy? is he super dreamy?" i teased, waggling my eyebrows and batting my eyelashes dramatically. maybe it was compliment fishing since i was pretty sure i knew who the guy was, but still. she giggled and sighed.
"we were... we were just talking about him a few minutes ago. it's- don't laugh!- chat noir," she bit her lip nervously, maybe expecting me to make fun of her for liking a superhero. instead, i grinned, still ecstatic about the fact that it was me she was talking about.
"why would i laugh? he IS dreamy. i'm not surprised he stole your heart," i shrugged, and she laughed.
"he is!" she smiled brightly, before suddenly frowning. "but... him and i... we can't..." she sighed, trailing off.
"you can't what?"
and just as suddenly as her frown appeared, it disappeared, being replaced with a smile.
"nothing, i'm sorry. that was... weird," she laughed slightly, and i frowned, seeing right through that. i knew what she'd been thinking of, and it hurt me just as much as it did her. so i did the only thing i could think of to help her. i took her into my arms and held her.
she didn't reject my embrace, nor did she return it. she simply let herself be held, and that was enough to tell me that she was grateful for it.
"you don't have to lie to me, marinette. i won't force anything out of you, but... if you ever feel like you need to talk, i'm here," i assured her, pulling away so she could look me in the eyes as i said it. she smiled, a real smile this time.
"thank you, adrien. let's go now?" she said, standing up and offering me her hand. i took it happily, grabbing her gift and my own with my other hand as we walked out the door.
maybe we couldn't be together yet. but her friendship really was worth the world, and i intended on cherishing every minute of it.

(a/n: how many times did i make these two thank e/o this chapter plsnwjeiw, and the overly cheesy sentence at the end mmmm, also guess who posted to ao3 for the first time 😱😱 am i cool yet i figured out how to use links amd everything)