unexpected feelings | marichat

chapter thirty

marinette's pov
(a/n: imagining or listening to 'in the rain' while reading this chapter strongly recommended tbh. that or umm, perhaps 'the last dance':D)
   "you do too. I MEAN, not beautiful, but likeee, you know, happy? of course i'm not saying that you're not beautiful but like- you know what? thank you," i blabbed on, my cheeks heating up despite the cool summer rain. why are you tongue tied around chat noir??? this isn't normal!!
chat simply smiled. "maybe we should slow down a bit before one of us actually throws up. i don't think the nice people of the louvre would appreciate that," chat said, pointing his thumb at the structure.
"you're probably right."
chat placed my hands on his shoulders and proceeded to place his on my waist gently. we swayed lightly to the rhythm of the rain, keeping eye contact while doing so.
   "see? i told you you weren't a bad dancer. you just refused to believe me," he said, smirking. i rolled my eyes.
   "oh, shut up. you know, i'm shocked. you're not so bad yourself."
   "i pride myself in my amazing slow-dance skills. one never knows when they'll come in handy, like right now," he winked. i laughed, and his face softened suddenly.
   "on a more... serious note, i want to thank you, marinette."
   "thank me? for what? you're the one who brings me gifts. i should be thanking YOU." he laughed at my response.
   "no, no, i enjoy giving you things. it's just..." he paused, as if thinking of the right words to say. it was something so rare, but when he did this i was sure he was speaking right from the heart. after a few seconds, he continued. "i really, really enjoy spending time with you. these days we spend together... i mean, they're some of the highlights of my life. i know i probably annoy you half to death, but you're honestly one of my best friends. a 'bff', if you may. so, thank you for letting me be a pest to you all the time. i lo- i appreciate you more than you'll probably ever know." he blushed a little in the end, something i seldom saw him do.
   "i hope you know i appreciate you too. so, so much, chat. i don't ever say it enough, and i'm sorry for it, but i want you to know you really are one of my best friends, too. i honestly don't know what i'd do without you," i said, hoping he really did understand.
   as marinette, and as ladybug, he had become such a fundamental part of me. as i said the words, i realized how true they really were. i couldn't imagine a world where i didn't have chat noir. every single time he sacrificed himself during an akuma, my heart would drop to the bottom of my stomach. because i didn't know what i would do if, somehow, i wasn't able to bring him back. i would never be able to live with the knowledge that chat noir was gone. i couldn't live without his mischievous grin, his awful puns, his humor, his kindness, his compassion. everything that made him, him. it was impossible to think that, at some point, he hadn't been in my life.
   standing here, staring into his sincere green eyes, i fully felt, for the first time, a dizzying feeling of love for my partner. my silly, sweet, imperfect partner. the boy who once had bothered me so much, the boy who was now my best friend. for a while now, i'd teetered on a thin line, wondering how exactly i felt for chat. but now, in this moment, it was clear. i loved him, and i wasn't going to keep distancing the feeling. it was scary, and maybe my heart still went haywire around adrien, but there was no point in denying how i felt for chat noir.
   i leaned closer into him, resting my head on his chest as i took in the feeling. it was a wonderful feeling, so wonderful that every worry i had about it dissipated for the time being. i felt him place his chin on my head, settling it comfortably.
   "you're a great hugger, even while dancing. i'm never letting go," he mumbled into my hair.
   "mmm, that's fine. it would be nice to have my very own carry around superhero body guard, anyway. i've always wanted one."
   "ah, chat noir does it again. making dreams come true since, since forever!" he bragged, still not moving his head from where it was.
   "should we maybe head back?" i asked after a few minutes, my head still buried in his chest.
"we probably should, but... you're just so warm," he complained, managing to pull me closer than we already were. i laughed.
"wasn't i the one that was cold earlier?"
"well, yeah, but now i'm the cold one! you stole all my warmth."
   "hmm, that sounds like a you problem," i said, peeling myself off him and sauntering off playfully. it proved to be a harder feat than i expected it to be, given the fact that i really did not want to let go and oh wow he was so warm, but i did so anyway. he jutted his bottom lip out as he watched me walk.
   "hey! that's rude, come back!"
   "nope, you have to follow me!"
   i received no answer and turned around, half expecting him to be pouting behind me. instead, i found the place where he once stood empty.
   "chat?? where did you-"
   "boo!!"
   "AH!"
   i turned to find a smug looking chat noir behind me, clearly pleased with himself for having scared me so easily. i scowled at him, but that just added to his amusement.
   "what the heck was that for?!"
   "for leaving me," he shrugged, putting his arm around me. i rolled my eyes. why exactly did i like this dork again?
   we made it back to my house after a few minutes. soaked, cold, and huge messes, but we made it.
   i offered chat a towel before heading to change out of my poor, soggy dress. it now drooped unappealingly, and i hung it up in the laundry room, hoping it would somehow dry into its natural state.
   i headed downstairs to find chat sitting on the couch, towels draped on him as he watched a sit-com on the tv. ugh, he looked painstakingly adorable.
"i say we play a few rounds of mecha strike four, yeah?" i asked him, and he turned back to me excitedly. just as he opened his mouth to say something, however, the doorbell ringed. my brow furrowed. i wasn't expecting anyone...
"hey girl!! we decided to surprise you with some movies and popcorn since you worked your butt off all throughout the school year. guess who's here?" alya greeted me as i opened the door, and i smiled at the welcome sight.
   "ummm... anyone but XY, i'm hoping?" alya laughed and stepped aside, revealing a teal haired guitarist with a huge grin on his face. shoot.. what was i going to tell luka about chat noir?
   as if reading my thoughts, chat noir joined us, causing alya's mouth to shape into a little 'o'. the 'o' quickly turned into a smirk, one that made me want to bonk her on the head with ladybug's yo-yo.
   "luka! i'm sure you, um, know who chat noir is?" i said, sounding much more awkward than i intended. smooth, marinette, real smooth.
   "of course i do. it'd be pretty embarrassing not knowing one of the heroes of paris, wouldn't it be?" luka replied, in his serene tone as always.
   "why, it definitely would be. hm, my amazing cat ears have allowed me to hear that you two brought movies, but why don't we play a few rounds of mecha strike before that?" chat challenged.
   "oh, you are so on! it's super unlikely that we'll beat marinette, though,"  alya said, running to the couch with chat noir trailing her. i started towards them, but luka put his hand on my shoulder gently before i could.
   "before that, i wanted to ask you... do you want to go see jagged stone's new movie with me next month? i know it comes out in a while, but i figured i'd ask you in advance since i know you like his music so much," he asked, such a sincere expression on his face that it nearly hurt me. my eyes unwillingly flitted to chat noir, who quickly looked away as our eyes met. i looked up at luka, who was still earnestly waiting for an answer.
   on the one hand... i couldn't string luka along, knowing that i loved chat noir and adrien. on the other one... neither of them exactly loved me back, did they? i repressed a frown, feeling so confused about the whole situation. after a few long seconds, i made up my mind.
   "oh, wow, luka... i'd love to go!" the response i gave made something in my stomach knot up. luka deserved so much better than to be a second (or was it third?) choice. still, the smile he gave me half-convinced me that it was the right answer.
   "awesome! oh, by the way, you look beautiful with your hair down," he said, prompting a small giggle from me before leading me to the couch. i planted myself between chat noir and alya, who seemed to notice the look on my face.
   "hmm, how is the compus of marinette feeling right now? is she going haywire?" she mumbled. i tried not to bury my head in my hands in front of everyone.
   "oh, she's fabulous, actually!" i mumbled back overly cheerily. much too overly, since alya saw right through me. still, she didn't push anything right now, which i was immensely thankful for.
   "right."
   i plastered on a smile as we chose our characters. i would not worry about my stupid heart right now. i would have a fun evening with my friends, pretending i didn't notice how close chat and i were sitting. pretending that i didn't feel like i was betraying luka by not telling him anything. and, most of all, pretending like i hadn't noticed the sad expression on chat noir's face as luka and i talked in the corner. because, surely, that last one had been a figment of my imagination. hadn't it?
   
(a/n: marichat rain dance omdhajej, also hm hm hm realizations realizations ;) what will our poor, conflicted girl do now?)