It's Not Me, Its Insecurity

Chapter 6

It wasn't until three days later that Toby texted me about band practice. By then I had reverted back to my skepticism of doing this. Of course, I planned to keep my promise to Toby and go at least once but I don't think that my mind was as open when Kayla made her little speech.

I stood in front of my closet in nothing but a towel -as I just got back from the gym and desperately needed a shower to get rid of all the sweat and the grim- and tried to decide what to wear. The thing that I kept going to was a band tee and a cardigan. It was an obvious rocker look but I didn't want to seem like I was trying too hard to impress them. But then again, I didn't want to make the opposite impression with a girly, pink top and have them think that I would only appreciate mainstream, pop music.

In the end, I went 'college girl simple' with jeans, chucks and a URI sweatshirt. I couldn't help but wear my pic necklace that I had made when I first started to learn guitar. I had poked a hole in my first pic and put a chain around it. It was almost like a good luck charm. I wore it whenever I felt like I needed an extra push to reach my goals.

It was almost 12 in the afternoon so I decided to have something quick to eat before leaving. I was hoping to see Alyson before I left but with her keys gone and the absence of her loud mouth, I deduced that she had already left to hang out with her friends. Despite the fact that we were both home during winter break, I had hardly seen her since she got back from California. While she could annoy me to the point where I wanted to strangle her sometimes, I did miss her. She was gone about eight months out of the year and when she did return home, she would work all summer and spend the nights at parties or clubs.

When I arrived at the address that Toby gave me, I was a little surprised that it was an actual studio. I figured that he knew someone or a band member had turned their basement into a studio for themselves and rented it out to bands and musicians. What I came to was an old rundown building that didn't look like much. It would have been sketchy if it was at the other end of town but it was in a good neighborhood so I wasn't too worried. I texted Toby when I got there to let him know I arrived because I didn't want to just walk in. I was kind of hoping that he would meet me out here and walk in with me, so there wouldn't be too much attention put on me.

Unfortunately, he texted me back to tell me to come on in, so I turned off my car with a sigh and locked up. I made my way up the brick steps and through the holey screen door to a reception looking area that had many band posters and instruments on the walls. The room was empty so I headed to the back where I assumed the studio was located.

I immediately heard random drum noises and a chord or two as I rounded the corner. There were six doors down the hall-three on each side but only one open at the end. I followed the sounds of tuning guitars and cautiously entered the room.

Packed in a relatively small room were five people each with their own instrument in their hands except for one guy who was playing with wires behind an amp at the back of the room. If I had never seen the band perform before, I would have been surprised to see a girl with a bass in her hand but I knew her from school. Steph was no doubt a tomboy with her black hair, cut in a pixie style, a gray beanie, ripped jeans and flannel shirt. While I never really talked to her, I looked up to her in school. She wasn't afraid to be who she was and she rocked hard when it came to the love of her life-which was the only thing that we seemed to have in common; music. I wished that I could show my passion for music as she did.

There was also Simon, Brett and Aaron but I had only met them in passing when I went to one of their shows. They attended a different high school from us and had met Toby through a mutual friend. I knew that Simon was the taller one with dark hair because he sang lead and played guitar but I wasn't sure about Brett and Aaron until now. I guessed that Brett was the one playing drums because I heard Toby once say something about Aaron being in charge of getting them gigs.