It's Not Me, Its Insecurity

Chapter 4

I've never had trouble going to sleep on Christmas Eve, even when I was a little kid. Having a party each year was the cause of this. Usually, guests would stay to at least eleven-thirty and by the time everyone left and we helped clean up, Alyson and I would be exhausted and fall asleep as soon as we got into bed. It was just as easy to wake up in the morning at seven to go downstairs to the living room and see the tree alight and piles of gifts under it. As I got into my teenage years it got harder to wake up in the morning, though. The magic of Christmas faded away and a few hours of sleep seemed more tempting.

Alyson came into my room at eight shaking me awake, ready to open her presents. It was tradition in our house for everyone to be up and downstairs before presents could be opened. Alyson had been up for an hour already and finally had enough waiting and came to wake me up.

Lazily, I tugged on a sweatshirt and trudged downstairs to the living room. Alyson was already kneeling under the brightly lit tree and my parents sat, droopy-eyed on the couch with blankets, snuggled together and coffee in their hands.

"Merry Christmas!" My mother chirped cheerfully with a tired smile.

"Merry Christmas." I replied less enthusiastically due to the sleepiness still in my voice.

After I gave both of my parents a hug, I slinked under the tree opposite of Alyson. Like always the tree was divided into sections. The left side was for Alyson, the right was for me and in the middle were the presents for my parents.

The night before we exchanged gifts to everyone in the living room. Not surprisingly, I received gift cards from my aunts and uncles. Grandma, like always gave all her grandkids envelopes with two twenty dollar bills. I had no problem with this. I would rather get money and spend it on something I like than have her buy me clothes that didn't fit like she did when I was younger.

While all the littler kids ripped open their gifts of toy trucks and Legos from their aunts and uncles, I exchanged presents with my friends. I bought Andrea and Kayla each a silver necklace with their first initial. They were on sale in a small boutique in Newport. I didn't have a job so the forty dollars I spent on the necklaces was perfect.

My best friends being the amazing people they are and knowing that I recently shattered my IPod's screen by dropping it, all chipped in to buy me a new IPod Touch. A much better and updated version of the IPod touch, which would hold a lot more music. I was so excited and happy that I would be able to choose the songs I wanted to listen to, I almost dropped the new one. Thankfully, somehow, Toby caught it before it fell to the ground.

Alyson, my parents and I would always wait until Christmas morning to exchange gifts with each other. I watched as my parents opened their gifts from Alyson and me. We decided to get their gifts together because it made life easier and maybe a little because I didn't have enough money to get them anything useful...

Mom excitedly smelled the three Christmas themed Yankee Candles and Dad immediately dove into the first book of a saga that he had been wanting to read.

There was one thing that I really wanted. It was also the only thing that I asked for so I had just a slight doubt that I would get it. Sure, it was a little expensive but it was something that I have wanted for a while and I would have gladly given up the rest of my Christmas gifts to get it. Though, looking under the tree at the bountiful amounts of wrapped presents, I didn't have to.

Glancing around I looked for a box that would be big enough to hold that beautiful Gibson Electric that I saw in Guitar Center a few months ago. My eyes widened excitedly when I saw a large, rectangular shaped box leaned up against the wall on my side of the tree. I wanted to open it first, the anticipation was killing me but I knew saving it for last would be best so I grabbed the closest thing near me which was a medium sized gift.