"Carrie, is there something wrong?" Trevor sees his daughter curled up on the couch, as she replays the last several years in her head.
At age six, she remembers being Julie's best friend. Every single Friday, without fail, the two girls would play pirates and princesses in the park near Julie's house, imagining the park was an ocean and the playground was their ship. She always remembered their moms would watch and talk about whatever parents talk about, which was usually catching up on what was going on and the drama ensuing in Los Angeles. Carrie always dressed up as the pink pirate princess, with an eyepatch over her left eye, a pink tulle skirt with a leather belt, a worn white shirt, and leather jacket. Julie optioned for a hook in her right hand, a similar white shirt to Carrie's, and a blue princess skirt.
It didn't look great, but they loved creating this whole world where they fight evil mermen and marry handsome princes. Their ship was the big playscape with a slide, a cargo net, and monkey bars they would use to get to the other parts of the playground.
By the time they were seven, Carrie's mom had passed. It was sudden, a very drunk driver hitting her without even realizing it. They didn't stop driving, didn't even put their foot on the brakes, leaving her to die long before anyone would find her. Police searched for months on who it might have been, but it was one of the many unsolved hit-and-runs.
Carrie was so distraught, but Julie had no idea what she was going through at the time with a perfectly healthy mother. She always offered to hang out with Carrie every day, since her big house would be lonely with just her inside. Trevor was never home, since he always had tours, had to write more songs, or his therapy to cope with his bandmates' deaths. He hired a nanny to take care of Carrie, but the nanny wasn't all that great and was there to make sure the house didn't burn to the ground, not play with Carrie when she was lonely. Six painstaking months later, Flynn moved in, meeting both girls as soon as the school year started and the three of them became instant best friends.
All three of them started playing whatever instruments were in Trevor's music room, discovering their love of music way back then. Carrie always dreamed of being a solo act, so Flynn and Julie came up with their own band—Double Trouble. It's not that she didn't like her two best friends, she just wanted to create songs that were personal to her. Even at age seven, she knew she wanted to create personal songs to describe her life.
They were the best of friends for years, causing trouble, making music, and enjoying life until Julie's mom got sick.
That's when Julie started to prioritize her relationship with her mother over Carrie. It wasn't obvious at the beginning, but after a few months, she noticed how little she and Julie talked, even when they were in the same classes together, and asked Julie whether they were even friends or not.
"Julie?" Carrie comes up to Julie, knowing they have the next class together so Julie couldn't avoid her. "Are we still friends?"
"Are we? For the last four months, I've been watching as my mother's life continues to degrade and you can't even bother to text." Julie says, standing outside of their class.
"I didn't know you wanted someone to talk to." Carrie still remembers when she lost her mother. All she wanted to do was get away from people, no matter how much they were trying to help.
"Well, maybe I should find a new best friend, if you can't be bothered to ask if I want to talk." Julie spits, walking into their shared music class.
"Maybe I should, too." Carrie says, feeling her heart break for Julie and for herself.
That was the day that she started Dirty Candy. She wanted to prove to Julie that she didn't need her, and with the help of one of her kind-of-friends, Kayla, they created a shallow girl group.
Every song she had written that she wanted to perform alone went into a box. "For later," she told herself. Then, she started writing upbeat songs to keep her mind off of the pain that she has to endure alone.
That was also the day she realized why Julie wanted someone around. Being alone sucked.
For an entire year and a half, Julie's mom continued to get sicker and sicker, weaker and weaker, until one day she died, too.
Carrie knew exactly how that felt.
But, after everything that went down, she didn't want to say anything. No "I'm sorry for your loss" or "I'm here if you want to talk", just silence. She wrote one more song to add to the box, one that she wanted to use to say sorry for everything that went down a year and a half prior.
"At seven, I thought I knew exactly what to do
Tried to push everything away, and that included you
Seeing my mother's body in the grave
I just wanted to show the world I was brave
Knowing you were going through the exact same thing
I just thought you might want some space, like me
I should have said, 'Sorry,
For everything I didn't say.
For all the things I should have told you,
But I pushed you away.'
I should have held you tight
When your mother passed that night
But I guess I just thought you would be alright
I guess I just thought that you would be alright
After a year of not a note from your lips
Or from the piano underneath your fingertips
I thought I should have asked if you were okay
I just wanted to show the world I was brave
Knowing you were going through the exact same thing
I just thought you might want some space, like me
I should have said 'Sorry,
For everything I didn't say.
For all the things I should have told you
But I pushed you away.'
I should have held you tight
When your mother passed that night
But I guess I just thought you would be alright
I guess I just thought that you would be alright
If you can accept this apology,
Maybe we can start from the beginning
Right now, I'm saying 'Sorry,
For everything I didn't say.
For all the things I should have told you
But I pushed you away.'
We can hold each other tight
Or at least that's what I pray
But I guess if you think that I'm alright today
You'd be wrong
But so would everyone"
Even if she never showed it, watching Julie sit at the piano and balk before playing a note killed her a little inside. Julie's the one that introduced her to music, to a whole world of instruments, songwriting, and more, and now she was the one unable to play it.
After Julie started performing with her band, showing Carrie and the rest of the world she had moved on and started making music again, Carrie couldn't help but feel guilty that her ex-best friend moved on from the loss of her mother when she couldn't even bear to see some rooms of her own house.
So, she decided then and there that she eventually wanted to disband Dirty Candy, which happened at the end of that year. Dirty Candy wasn't her dream.
"Carolyn Wilson, stunning singer-songwriter"
That was her dream.
"Yeah, I'm fine." Carrie comes up with an idea that is sure to blow some people's minds.
Author's Note: So, holy wow. I didn't realize I was that good at coming up with fake backstories until I did this. I just like how much it rounds out Carrie's character as a whole, and what do you think Carrie is going to do in the future that will blow people's minds? Also, that song is mine, written specifically for Carrie's character, so please don't steal the song or any part of it. Well, hopefully you guys are having a great day and let me know how much you liked this chapter by commenting and voting! I am almost done with this semester of college! One more exam in a few hours then I get the summer to be free!
THANK YOU ALL FOR READING THIS STORY!
Loves,
mistyrider921
~𝄞~
YOU ARE READING
Healing - JATP Fanfic (Luke x OC)
FanfictionFast forward two months, when Brielle's life seems to be perfect, Julie and her band have become even more famous, and Flynn is the big-time manager of "Julie and the Phantoms". Since their show at the Orpheum, the boys have become real-life humans...
