At my house
Within the four walls
Lying on the bed
With my headphones on
And a book in my hand
Is where I belong, or so I think.
But then the flashbacks come
Of Sleepless nights trying not to cry
Thinking "What I did wrong?
Why am I a disappointment?"
And there I start bottling up everything I'm feeling
Knowing what a wreak I'll be if the bottle breaks someday
And so I know, this is not where I belong.
At school
With the people I call my friends
I smile, I laugh, I tease and get teased
I fool around and dance around
I think I belong here
But then I realise
My smile never reaches my eyes,
Or my laugh never comes out of my heart.
My friends don't know about my insecurities
Or how awkward I get when they have endless conversations
And I just stand there listening, and quiet.
And so I know, this is not where I belong.
Isn't it funny how every moment I've spent till now
Is of me trying to change myself just to fit in somehow
I am not Myself here, I am not Myself there
I am just a different shade of me everywhere,
With all the other shades hiding behind.
Sometimes I think
It's better if I pack my bags
Go to a new place, meet new people
And be me completely, with no shade of me left behind,
Maybe these strangers will be my true north
But then I remember
I'm not Gryffindor enough to accept a change
Where do I really belong?
Whom should I ask?
I don't know, maybe one day I will
For now all I know is that these words I'm writing
Do belong to me.
YOU ARE READING
From The Bottom Of My Heart
PoetrySelf-written poems and thoughts! I am not so good at writing stuffs but recently I started pouring my feelings into writing. Specifically when I feel lonely and I get suffocated by my own self, my own thoughts and my life, I write just to get things...
