Chapter 12

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TW // Mentions of suicide attempt

Your leg bounces as you sit in the waiting room, the rest of your friends all around you. Emily grabs your hand as she looks over at your worried expression. JJ and Garcia are sitting across from you two, while Morgan paces around the room too nervous to let himself sit down. Tara was outside in the hallway, she's never been too good with hospitals. Mrs. Reid was here too, at least physically. It felt awful to say, but a part of you envied her for not really understanding the gravity of the situation.

You see the doctor come out from a large set of double doors, and everybody's attention turns to her. She walks over to your group, and everybody stands up to meet her, as Garcia walks out to get Tara.

"You guys are here with Spencer Reid, correct?" the doctor asks.

"Yes, we are," you say with a nod.

"Are any of you family?" she asks.

"Uhh no," Emily says from next to you, "but his mom has schizophrenia and she's not in her best mind right now."

"Well," the doctor says as she gives you a regretful look, "I can't give you guys any information if you are not family."

"Ma'am," you say as you step closer to her, "Spencer is my best friend and I'm part of the reason he ended up here today. Please, I just need to know that he is ok." She looks around and the group of you guys for a moment before she sighs and looks back at you.

"I'm not supposed to give you any information," she starts to say, "but I can tell you that he is alright and that visiting hours end in two hours, but there can only be two people in his room at a time."

"Thank you, so much," you say as you breathe a sigh of relief.

"Just down the hall to the left," she says in a whisper and she gives you a small smile before walking back through the double doors she had come out of.

You and Tara are the ones who go back to see him first. As you turn the handle and walk into his room, you see him lying on the bed looking weaker than you have ever seen him. Slowly you make your way over to him and sit down in the chair next to his bed as Tara sits down on his other side.

"I am so sorry Spence," you say as you reach over and brush his overgrown hair off of his forehead.

"It's not your fault (Y/N)," Tara says gently. You shake your head as you feel your head start to cloud with emotion.

"If I hadn't gotten involved with Emily then..." you start to say but Tara interrupts you.

"No! He was happy for you," she says in a stern voice making you look up at her. "He was."

"But I left him."

"You never left," Tara says, "you made sure that you never let Emily get in the way of your friendship and he respected that."

"How do you know?" You ask.

"We don't only have conversations when you are around you know?" She says as she smiles at you. You smile back at her before she lets out a breath and pushes herself to stand up.

"Well, that's about as much of a hospital that I can take," she says as she starts to walk towards the door. "Call me when he wakes up ok?"

You nod ok, and she walks out of the room. A few moments later the door opens again and you turn to see Derek standing cautiously by the door.

"Hey," you say in surprise. "I didn't think you'd be the next one in."

"I just had to make sure he was ok," he says.

You motion for him to sit in the chair that Tara had just vacated, and he moves towards it. But instead of sitting in it, he moves it to where he is sitting next to you.

"You ok?" you ask as you look over at his face.

"Yeah," he says quickly, not taking his eyes off Reid.

"He'll come around," you say, and Derek looks at you with a confused face.

"Huh?" he asks.

"He has a hard time believing that people care for him, but he will come around," you say again. Derek sighs and runs a hand over his face

"I'm not used to this," he says with a shake of his head.

"Why?" you ask jokingly, "because you're always a macho man?"

"Yes exactly, I am glad you can recognize that," he says with a laugh before his face grows serious again. "No but seriously, girls always chase me, they drool over me, they want to be around me..."

"Morgan I get it," you say to stop his rambling.

"All I am trying to say is that I am not used to being the person with the crush. I am the heartbreaker," he catches himself, "well I used to be. I just don't want to hurt him"

You reach over to him and take his hand in yours.

"You won't. You're a big softie Derek Morgan, I've only known you for a few months and I can tell that." He smiles at you and lightly squeezes your hand.

Over the next hour, JJ, Garcia, and Emily all rotate in to check on Spencer. But you stay by his side the whole time.

It was when Morgan had gotten back and was sitting next to you that you heard a noise and your eyes instantly shot to Spencer, to see him looking around the room.

"Hey pretty boy," Derek says softly, getting Spencer's attention. "How you feeling?"

"Not great," Spencer says, his voice hoarse.

"I'll go get Tara," Derek says as he stands up, "and the doctor."

"I'm so glad you're ok Spence," you say as he looks over at you. "I am so sorry."

"I'm sorry," he says, "none of it was your fault, and I shouldn't have made you feel like it was."

"But it kind of was..." you start to say, but he reaches his hand out and places it on top of yours.

"No, it wasn't. I didn't do this because of you or anything that you did. You are the only reason I've been able to stay for so long." You place your other hand on top of his and look at him with a sad smile.

"I love you, Spence," you say as a single teardrop falls from your eye.

"Only if I am still yours," he replies. To the best of your ability, you lean over and try to pull him into a hug, but the sides of the hospital bed get in your way, so you both start laughing instead.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"He has to stay here for a few days," the doctor says after checking Spencer. "We need to flush everything out of his system and then I am going to recommend he see a psychiatrist, to determine if he needs to be placed in a mental facility."

"He's not crazy," tara says in a defensive tone. You reach out and place a hand on her arm to calm her.

"I know that," the doctor says, "but I would hate for something like this to happen again, it is just a precaution."

"Thank you, for everything," you say to her.

"Of course," she says with a soft smile. "Now visiting hours are almost over, so I am going to have to ask you to leave. But you can come to see him again in the morning."

You and Tara both say your goodbyes and walk out of the room, but not before promising Reid that both of you would be back as early as you could the next morning.

As you walk out to the waiting room, you notice that the only person still left was Emily. In all of the drama that happened today, you had almost forgotten about how amazing she was.

As you walk over to her, she stands up from her chair and you wrap your arms around her in a hug. She holds you tight until you are ready to let go. As you do her eyes run over you.

"You look awful," she says jokingly. You roll your eyes and grab her hand as the two of you walk out of the hospital and to her car.

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