From Beginning to End

Chapter 13

A/N: Happy New Year! Consider this my present to you! And just a warning, there's sex in this chapter. I don't know if that bothers you or not (hopefully not), but I just figured I'd let you know ahead of time :) Don't skip the chapter if it does; you can skim and skip over that part. I only say that because it's a pretty important chapter in the scheme of things. Thanks, and don't  forget to let me know if you liked it :))) 

We were sitting outside of his dark house in the car, both silent. The only light came from the moon and his colorful dashboard full of technological devices. The uneven distribution of light cast lines of shadow over his face. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him clench his jaw and I swallowed hard.

This was it.

"Crystal, I know you don't want to talk about this," he started, a hesitance in his voice. My fingers drifted to the door, ready to get out of the car to avoid the conversation. Before my hand could close on the handle, he reached over and stopped me. "Wait."

I sighed, "Jake—"

He wasn't having it. "No," he said and the intensity of his voice surprised me. My eyes flew to his and I knew that this time, there was no way I was avoiding it. When he saw the reluctant resignation in my expression, he let me go, falling heavily back into his seat. My hand slid away from the door and I stared out the windshield, hating the way my heart pounded.

"We've been avoiding this for a while," he said, his voice quiet. "We can't avoid it anymore."

I bit my lip and nodded. The windows were rolled down and a gentle breeze ruffled my hair, offering some relief from the summer heat that carried through the night.

He turned to face me, but I still couldn't manage to face him. "I'm going to New York," he said. Hearing the words sent a painful twinge through my chest, but I ignored it. Finally, I looked at him.

"I'm happy for you."

His eyes searched mine and then he shook his head, "I know you are, but that's not the issue here. That's not why I need to talk to you."

It wasn't? Now I was confused. If this wasn't about my reluctance to talk about New York, than what could it be about? "I don't understand."

For a long minute, he stared at me. And then, a small smile curved his lips. "I think you do." His hand slowly came up from its place on the gear shifter. The tips of his fingers brushed up my arm and a tiny shiver raced through my spine. My breath stilled in my throat and my chest felt unbearably tight as I watched the progression of his slow caress. I furrowed my brow in confusion, but my eyes heated with desire. I saw an answering desire echoed in his green irises.

Finally, his fingers reached my face and he cupped my cheek in his palm. His thumb stroked over the bridge of my nose and my eyes closed involuntarily, remembering the last time he had done that. When they opened again, his eyes were on my lips and I licked them reflexively. The fire in his expression flickered even as he met my gaze.

"Crys," his voice was husky and I felt my body respond to the way the deep tone caressed my sensitive nerves. "We've been through a lot this summer. And I know I'm leaving, and that things will probably never be the same between us." The heat of his palm made my skin flush, but all I could pay attention to was whatever he was trying to tell me. And in that moment, I thought that maybe he was right, and that I did understand.

His other hand came to my shoulder, his fingers tightening on the bare skin. I felt myself being pulled inexorably closer. "I just can't bear to leave things this way." His eyes scanned my face and in the meager light from the night sky, I could see the cords in his throat moving as he swallowed.