The girl that was never saved

Confession

Y/n's pov

I wake up from the couple hours of sleep I got, I look at the clock next to my bed. 8:40am, have I slept in? Have I got up too early? I don't really know the schedule of everyone around here, I get out my bed and I make it, I brush my teeth and wash my face, well splash a bit of water on it to wake me up, I walk downstairs and everyone is already there, seems like I was the last one to wake up.

Tony:" ahh kid great for you to join us, I've found a way to get the chip out your head, it's very dangerous but, if you want time to think about it that's fine but just let me know, oh and help yourself to anything this place is yours too"

Y/n:"thank you Tony, is there a gym or something here?"

Tony:"of course there's a gym here, your in the compound kid, everything's here, your closet is filled with clothes, I got Jarvis to help with that"

Y/n:"Jarvis? Who's Jarvis"

Tony:"he's the built in AI, just ask him a question or whatever you need, and he'll do it for you"

Y/n:"thank you Tony, for everything"

Tony:"it's not a problem kid" he says to me with a smile

I make my way up to my room to change into something more sporty so I can go and let out some of my emotions in the gym, I bump into someone on my way.

Y/n:"oh goodness I am sorry I did- nat, hi"

She looks at me then walks right past me, did I say something to annoy her or upset her? She seems like the one that wants me to be here least, I mean I can get why but I don't know what I done? I just shrug it off and go to my room to change. I head down to the training room and go straight to the punching bag, thankfully I'm here alone, I start punching the bag and let out all of my anger into it, all the things hydra and the red room done to me, I took it out on the bag. "You need to lift your elbows up" I heard a voice say from the other side of the gym, I turn round and the red head is walking towards me, "what?" I reply confused, confused as to why she's talking to me all of a sudden.

Y/n:"I'm fine nat, I don't need you mentoring me on how to punch a punching bag"

Nat:"I'm just tryna help you geez y/n"

Y/n" why do you hate me so much? What did I even do, ever since I got here you've been looking at me like I'm not meant to be here, I know I've done bad things natasha but I'm trying to change! I didn't ask for everything to happen to me! If I could change it I could, I'm just trying to be a better person and you are not making it any easier for me."

Nat:" I don't hate you y/n"

Y/n:" then what is it then nat? Are you scared of me? Or I don't know worried to be around me incase I kill you? I'm not the monster hydra made me into"

Nat:" I'm not scared of you either y/n I feel guilty ok?"

Y/n:"why?"

Nat:" it's me okay y/n, look at me"

Y/n:"I'm confused?"

Natasha walks over and grabs my face and looks into my eyes, at first I don't know why she's doing it, then I look more into her eyes, it all comes back to me.

Y/n:" n-Natalia? Is it really you?"

Nat:"yes y/n it's me"

Y/n:" it can't be, you left the red room, you left me, why?"

Nat:"I don't know y/n, I wanted to come back for you, but I-"

Y/n:" do you know, I sat up every night waiting for you to come back for me, I never even dreamt of the day the love of my life would leave me, we planned to escape TOGETHER! And you left me, shit here's me still waiting for you, god Nat you broke my heart"

Nat:"y/n I'm sorry okay? I tried to come back for you, but they sent you to hydra and I didn't know where you were, I've spent years trying to track you down, as soon as you said about the red room that's why I left, I couldn't bare looking you in the eyes and lying to you by saying I didn't know who you were"

We look at eachother for a couple of more seconds until I walk out, leaving her standing there, I didn't want to, I wanted to stay there with her and hold her, but I couldn't, not yet.