Through My Eyes

Chapter Twenty

Sorry it's so short, everyone, but I really wanted to give you guys a New Years' present since I didn't upload for Christmas!! I hope you guys enjoy it, even though there isn't much happening here. It is a filler chapter and I apologise for that, but hey! We can only go up from here, right? The next chapter will definitely be better, I promise!!

Before I know it, two weeks have passed in this hellhole Emmanuel calls home. Two more welcoming balls were held, during which I was displayed like a treasury and paraded around as though I am new to the very country, not just to this house. Every night, when escorted to Emmanuel's room, I had to either spend the night with a moth-eaten blanket hiding away in the restroom, or I had to wrestle Emmanuel away from myself until he fell asleep. The only person giving me hope was my father-in-law, Master Phillip. According to his instructions, I called him Father to his face but when I was not socialising with him, I must admit I find it difficult to refer to him as Father.

Because the only man I could ever think of as Father was my own father, who is now deceased and has been for a long time.

My father was a cuddly, well-rounded man with no less than a beam painted on his face, no matter what happened. His affair with Peter's mother (who was never identified) was justified, in my eyes. Mother became very distant all of a sudden after my seventh birthday and was flirtatious with various men, regardless of whether they were my father's best friends or not. Father was probably only trying to get his revenge from my mother's devious ways, but he ended up being given much more than he could handle. Some would say that he deserved that, but I say it was just my father's bad luck. When Peter arrived on our doorstep, he was one week old, a scrawny, malnourished baby and in his basket was a letter with one sentence scrawled on it.

'Remember your night of infidelity? Peter is the result.'

Mother had gone ballistic, she had torn the whole house apart, she had rammed her fists against my father's chest, she called my father all the names under the sun, while I had cowered in a corner, my arm slung protectively around a wailing baby whose identity was a mystery to me, but who I felt very protective of already.

"Eloise!"

Master Phillip's voice rips me from my reverie.

"Yes, Father?"

"Since we are now alone, I have the chance to tell you something I could not, while my family was present in the house."

Lady Elizabeth, Emmanuel, Richard and Rose have all gone to visit an unwell relative. Master Phillip and I remained at home because Lady Elizabeth wished for me to be introduced to the relative in the 'comfort' of this house. I could 'not be trusted alone' at home, so Master Phillip volunteered himself to stay and supervise me.

Master Phillip clears his throat. "Well, unbeknownst to you, I have kept in lengthy contact with Damon and he is rather concerned of your wellbeing."

At the mention of Damon's name, my eyes light up and my head snaps to Master Phillip's face. My stomach forces itself into a triple catapult and my heart decides to launch itself into my throat so I am unable to say anything.

I swallow it back down and choke out, "Go on. Please, continue."

"He keeps asking me if you're well and how you are settling in here. He is very worried about you, but I am assuring him that you are okay. Well, as okay as you could be."

Breathless, I whisper, "Did he say when he's coming?"

"Well... not exactly, Eloise. He has a lot to organise as of yet, he said it could take him a month or more for everything to be ready."

"A month?" I slump back in my seat, all the hope that had been lifting me up leaving me drained and defeated. My stomach catapults, this time more in protest than anything. I have to live here, with Emmanuel and his mother, for another month?! These past two weeks have been unbearable, how do I survive a month?

My silent torment must have been noticed by Master Phillip because he speaks up, "Eloise, I promise you, I will make your stay here worthwhile. I will try my best to ensure Emmanuel does not trouble you. In the meanwhile, please do not give up on our attempts to save you."

I nod silently, staring at my clasped hands in my lap....

"How was your day?" Emmanuel says, as I let my hair down, running my fingers through it.

I look at the mirror, meeting his gaze in it. We are in his room, Emmanuel is already dressed for bed.

"Why do you want to know?" I reply coldly, scooping my hair over one shoulder and combing through all the tangles. It feels strange, alien to be doing this by myself; Mary was always there for me.

"You're my wife." Emmanuel shrugs. "It is my right to know."

My hand stops and the comb stills. I grit my teeth, "Emmanuel, leave me alone. I do not have the patience for this tonight, leave me be!"

"Patience?!" Emmanuel spits out, standing up and walking over to stop behind me. "I'm your husband!! It is your duty to answer my questions and quench my curiosity."

I stand and turn to face my so-called 'husband'. "You're going to have to find somebody else to quench your curiosity because, I, for one, am not going to stand here and tolerate the rubbish you spout!"

He grabs my hair, taking advantage of the fact it is down and pulls me to him. "Stop being so disrespectful, Eloise!! I will not let you act like this towards me, not any more. Why are you still fighting me? Damon is gone, it is over. Now, you just have to accept me."

"You can keep trying...." I say, wrenching Emmanuel's hand from my hair. "...but your endeavours will always fail."

Emmanuel gasps in outrage and I smirk smugly before switching off the light and climbing between the duvet, using a line of pillows to separate my side and Emmmanuel's side. I hear him sigh and then clamber into the bed. Stiffening, I pull my duvet around myself and close my eyes, willing sleep to come to me quickly tonight...

The next day, I am sitting in the orchard, stroking the leaves of a nearby rose bush when a whinnying catches my attention. Curiosity spiked, I follow the sound until I find a stable. There, I see a stable and Emmanuel's brother, Richard, sitting atop a beautiful black horse, gallivanting back and forth, the horse's beautiful mane tossing this way and that. I stand there, entranced, watching the horse snort and whinny, a smile edging into the corner of my mouth. Before I know it, the horse has noticed me and then trots over to me, bobbing her head in acknowledgement.

I look up at Richard, who just nods his permission for me to touch the horse.

"Hello, boy." I stroke his nose. "What's your name, you big, beautiful horse?"

"He's called Bolt." Richard says, refusing to meet my gaze.

"Is he the only horse here?"

"No, we have two mares and a pony." Richard replies curtly, pulling on the reins and forcing Bolt away from me. I drop my hands to my side and wistfully watch Bolt trotting around the field. I turn and walk back to the orchard, rubbing my forearms against the heightening cold. I sit down on the stone bench, my thoughts drifting back to my mother. I wonder how she is, all alone in that big house, with only Mary, Peter and the help to keep her company. The whole house must have lost its atmosphere, what with Mother having nobody to take out her frustrations out on. I hope Mary is okay and that she can deal with Mother's outbursts, as sudden and unprovoked as they can be.

I refuse to let myself to think of Damon; it will bring up too many unwanted memories that drag me into their murky depths. Thinking of Damon is a luxury I will only allow myself in my sleep or when he arrives here. Only then will I give myself that priviledge. I have decided to do this because whenever I spend my time pondering over Damon's actions, I find myself drowning in sorrow and pining for somebody I cannot have, at least for now...