The Last Victory

26. A Lesson in the Matter of Forgiveness

In the meantime, the sun was low over the horizon. Nevertheless, it was already gloomy, because clouds had covered the rest of the bright part of the day, which caused an eerie feeling in Po. But yet he did not hesitate to follow the lord to the harbor, where they boarded a small boat. First, it was a little difficult to persuade the boat owner, a little rabbit, to drive the exiled prince and the Dragon Warrior. When Po assured him that it was okay, the rabbit complied and it was spared that Shen having to use his lance sword as a word of power.
Both were silent the entire journey. Po sat down on the back of the boat while Shen kept his eyes taut forward. Somehow it reminded the panda of the scene where Shen wanted to leave Gongmen City with his warships. Only this time there were no weapons involved. Except for his sword.
Po sighed deeply and endured the boat trip. First, the boat drove past the harbor, then past overgrown and ragged riverbanks. From time-to-time Shen gave whispered instructions, which he sometimes made clear by poking the boatman's shoulder with the tip of his lance. Finally, they turned into a river. When Po noticed this, he became a little restless. Where did the former future ruler of Gongmen City go?
Gradually, the panda guessed something and got up slowly. Shen's eyes moved back to him slightly, but said nothing. Finally, Shen instructed the boat to be steered ashore. They moored there and Shen climbed out. Po did the same and together they crossed a sparsely wooded meadow path.
At first, the Dragon Warrior let his gaze wander with little interest. There was nothing here except forest and meadow.
Suddenly, he paused as he examined the grass more closely. The earth was straight at one point and then the soil became watery and muddy.
Po bent down and pushed the grass aside. It was rice. Rice grass from a rice field. However, a pretty overgrown rice field. Was that...?
The panda stood up suddenly and wanted to storm forward. But then he had to brake in the middle of the race because Shen had come to a standstill only one meter in front of him. Po stayed on one foot and staggered backwards balancing.
"Ouch! Ugh." With disgust, Po rubbed the dirt off his back and looked up at Shen. He had turned his back on him again and seemed to be like petrified.
"Does any of this look familiar to you, panda?" He asked softly and callously.
With difficulty, Po got up and looked around. At first, he only saw cloudy weather over a meadow field partially covered with trees. But then he recognized dilapidated, shabby wooden huts.
Po opened his eyes.
The panda village.
His village.
Po swallowed hard. "I had been here before." He ducked his head. "When I came to Gongmen City over one year ago... when you shot me down with the cannon... here... well, you know?"
Shen was silent. He looked down at the remains of the village. The last time he had been here was over 20 years ago. He hadn't set foot in this place since then anymore.
"But not that," he whispered hoarsely.
Po didn't know what he meant. But Shen did not explain any details and started moving again, giving the panda another wave with his wing and Po followed him with some distance.
The atmosphere lay heavy over the once so beautiful little panda village. They walked slowly, as if they didn't want to disturb the dead.
Shen only lifted his head slightly now and then, alternately looking to the side. He still remembered how he came up here. So much had happened here a long time ago. There was still so much death in the air that he thought he could feel it. His wings trembled around the hilt of his long sword. So much blood was still stuck to it, even though it was no longer visible.
The lord cut across a blade of grass with his sword. At that time, there was snow on the meadows and the surfaces had covered with ice.
Shen closed his eyes for a moment. The grass caressed his feet, leaving him welcome, without thorns. A gentle rest, without cold ice. In contrast to this night, when the snow made his white plumage inconspicuous, Shen's figure now contrasted with the green, as if he did not come from this world.
Po narrowed his eyes. A picture flashed in front of him. Shen how he was impelling the wolves with loud screams. A cry of a peacock screeching through the night. Now the white lord was silent. The red color of the fire no longer brightened his plumage. Just darkness and silence, like the ashes after the fire. The embers were cold and extinguished. It was a calm like after an almost forgotten storm.
After they passed the last dilapidated house, they turned into the forest.
"Where are we going?" Po asked.
The peacock fanned out his tail. Startled, Po stepped back a little. But the lord did not answer, but pointed with his lance sword into the forest. Then he shouldered his sword again and walked through the trees.
Po looked after him suspiciously. Could he trust him?
He looked behind himself for the last time, then he sighed deeply and followed the peacock. Shen's white form wandered among the trees like a ghost. But his walk did not seem to be without aim. He even seemed to know the way exactly.
Po thought it best to be silent for now and together they walked a long way until they came to the edge of the forest, where a hill led down.
The panda stopped for a moment. Somehow, he thought he'd seen this area before. He was about to ask something when he noticed that Shen had already disappeared back into the forest. Reluctantly, the panda followed him again. The walk went on for a few more yards, then the lord stopped unexpectedly. Po stopped, too. Then the white peacock turned to face him. His face was like stone.
"Here it was."
The panda looked behind him in confusion. They stood in a small forest glade.
"What was here?" He asked.
Shen pressed the hilt of his lance sword into the damp forest floor with both wings. "I killed your mother here."
Po's eyes widened. But Shen showed no emotion. Instead, he pointed with his white wing again at a certain point in the forest clearing. "She fell over there."
The lord did not take his eyes off the panda and watched his reaction. Po stood there as if stuck, unable to move and stared stunned ahead.
"Don't you want to visit your mother's grave, panda?"
Silent and a little dazed, the Dragon Warrior set off and walked cautiously across the grass. It was inconceivable that a panda mother had lain dead here over 20 years ago. What had become of her body? There was nothing here. Not even bones. Had someone found her and buried her after the massacre? Or had she been eliminated by wild animals long ago?
Deeply shocked, the panda sat down on the forest floor, as if he was trying to feel her remaining aura, he stroked with his palms the blades of grass.
Shen still hadn't moved and let his gaze rest on the panda.
"Like his mother," he thought. Exactly in the same place.
(Flashback)
The wolves were quick, but the young lord sprinted after them skillfully. He would never have thought that he would go hunting with wolves. There couldn't be any survivors. The forest ended here. Where was the panda fled?
A howl.
A movement in the forest.
A woman's scream.
A wolf jumped by his side. Pointed him in a certain direction.
As fast as an arrow he slipped through the tree trunks. Cold snowflakes brushed his feathers. It was a night made for a cold execution.
A forest glade appeared. There was a big panda surrounded by wolves.
His next victim.
A woman.
The white peacock raised his lance sword. The wolves withdrew a little and gave way to their general respectfully.
The panda woman sank to her knees. He didn't remember what exactly she had said. He just blocked everything out. He didn't want to feel compassion. Compassion was a weakness. Just like forgiveness.
Forgiveness.
(Flashback end)
Shen's wings clenched around his sword. The death scream still echoed in his ears. His gaze wandered again to the panda, who was still crouching on the floor. Then his gaze wandered to his lance sword. The panda was standing all alone with him in the forest. In the state in which the panda was at the moment, he could easily stab him down. A plan that he wanted to put into practice over one year ago.
Shen's claws dug into the ground. With a harsh movement and an ominous hiss, the lord cut the air with the sharp instrument of war.
"Is it still so easy for you to forgive, panda?!" he snapped at him.
First, Po didn't react. Only after a few seconds, he lifted his head slowly. The lord pressed his free wing to his chest. Something hurt there, but he knew it wasn't physical. He clenched his finger feathers in a fist. Something deep inside him tightened.
"It hurts. Doesn't it?" Every sound in his voice was like falling rocks. "We both go through the same pain. Each in his own way."
Finally, the panda managed to turn his head in his direction. Shen raised his eyebrows in a devilish and gloomy manner. A few tears had formed in Po's eyes. The lord's throat tightened, but his anger overcame everything in him.
"Are you still ready to forgive me?" The lord hissed on in a choked voice. "What if I tell you I killed her with the same weapon?" He held up his lance sword, which he pushed hard on the ground again. "Do you really think your mother could forgive me?"
There was another pause where no one said a word. Po's gaze remained sad as before, while Shen became angrier. It boiled inside him as hot as the lava of a volcano. He just didn't know what exactly he was feeling such anger about. About himself? About others? About the future? The universe? That everything hadn't turned out the way he'd always wished? Why was he born this way?
He gave a loud scream and swung his sword around again.
"Maybe she's even screaming at you!" He snapped. "Don't you want to avenge her?!" He pressed the cold blade against his forehead. "The urge to ease the pain is strong. Do you understand now what I mean, panda?"
Shen took a few steps back. Po was standing up. After a period of standstill, he approached the peacock. Shen stepped backwards with every step. He held his sword in front of him. Was he expecting an attack?
"If you want to kill me now, panda, let me do my act of revenge first at least!" The distance between them narrowed. "Let me hunt down the traitor!" There was still bitterness in Shen's voice. But also a kind of fear. But then he stood up as proudly as a peacock could only show a proud demeanor.
"Because that's justice!"
Suddenly, Po jumped at him. Shen might have stabbed him, but something froze his movement. Was it just justice that the panda wanted to avenge his mother?
The lord managed to hold his lance sword like a shield in front of him. But Po pressed it down and wrapped his arms around him.
First, Shen feared the panda would break his spine. He let out a peacock cry, but he still held his sword with a firm grip in both wings, crushing it between them. But the hugging handle didn't hurt the peacock. Instead, they just encircled him and the panda's head rested on his shoulder.
The peacock tried in vain to wriggle out of it. "What are you doing?!"
"I already forgave you back then," Po said with difficulty. "Don't make me break this vow."
He tightened his hug as if trying to dispel the hideous feeling of revenge. "Better forgive me for that I didn't tear you off the cannon."
Shen winced. "What are you talking about?"
"About running away when the cannon fell on you. That was very selfish of me. I should have saved you. I'm sorry."
Shen stood there numb. "Why are you saying that?"
"Because it wasn't fair. I'm the Dragon Warrior. And it's my job to help and protect everyone in need. I screwed up with you. I'm sorry." He stroked the peacock's back. "Please forgive me."
Silence fell. While Po was still hugging the peacock, his eyes closed and hoping for a word from his counterpart, Shen felt like in a dead body.
Forgive me.
Nobody has ever asked him to. Just begging for mercy or out of fear that he should spare someone. Whoever asked him to forgive someone?
A shock flashed through the peacock. The panda was crying. Tears dripped onto his shoulder. Normally, he would have pushed him away in disgust, but it made something else in him. A physical gesture like someone opening his heart. A tremor ran through his body. With trembling wings, he clutched his sword, then he dropped it and it landed on the grass.
For a while, he stood there indifferently. But then he raised his wings, which gently settled on the panda. When Po felt his wings, he pushed his arms up further in the embrace.
Finally, the lord began to wiggle his finger feathers on the panda's fur.
Black and white.
The white was almost identical to his. That he had never noticed that before.
"Oh, panda."
He pressed his eyes together. When he opened them again, tears veiled his sight.
Everything from the past was somehow forgotten.
A light wind blew through the trees and caressed the tears from his face. The peacock looked up. A calm surrounded the forest glade. As if the universe wanted to calm them down.
He lowered his gaze and crying was all that the silence filled.