I Need You to Stay

Chapter 20

"Please don't go" I could see panic in Gerard's eyes as I started to pack up all my clothes.

"I need to Gerard, I would stay if I could but my mom needs me." I looked at Gerard as he stared down at my open suitcase.

He put his hand through his hair making it a mess on top of his head. I knew he was freaking out since last night when I mentioned that it was my last night sleeping on the bus. For that whole night he didn't let go of me. I was controlling myself. I knew this day was coming, I was counting down the days. To be honest I was freaking out on the inside.

"Please stay for another week. Please" I looked into Gerard's eyes wanting to say yes, my whole body to just say yes and do something spontaneous for once in my life.

"I'm sorry" I looked down feeling that I was letting down Gerard. "You will be back on the road, doing shows nearly every night. What would I being doing Gerard? Waiting in your bunk every night. Just waiting all the time that you don't have for me. I would be more helpful if I went home to mom." I collected my things from the tiny bathroom

"I'm going to miss you so much" He looked down, I felt pain strike in my heart seeing him like this.

"Just please, I'm begging, don't do anything that will harm you. Please" I held his arms and looked into his eyes wanting him to promise me.

".....Okay" He hesitantly said

"You promise?" 

"I promise" We hugged, squeezing each other tight, breathing in each other's smell, taking in what each other skin felt like.

"I love you Gerard"

"I love you Lisa... So much" 

I waved goodbye to the guys as I lined up to board the plane.  Frank was holding Gerard up while he cried. His hands covering his face, his fingers knotted in his hair. I felt like I just wanted to run and hug him not wanting to let him go. I felt like collapsing, the pain was taking over my whole body knowing that I wouldn't be able see him for the next three months at least. I looked back one more time, seeing Gerard brushing Frank off him and walking away hastily. My stomach twisted in agony. I wiped my tears away and shakily handed the smiling lady my ticket and walked through the doorway.

****

I looked out of the window to see the building where my apartment was held. I handed the taxi driver the money and collected my belongings. I pulled my suitcase up the steps feeling exhausted with every floor I went up, realizing how unfit I was. I finally made it to the door and unlocked the door to see an empty apartment. I wheeled my suitcase to my room. The sun came through my window making my bedroom bright. I collapse on my bed and stared up at the ceiling. The pain shot back into my heart. I felt alone, I felt empty. Gerard wasn't by my side and it won't be for the next while, with that thought in my head I broke down. I couldn't hold anymore emotion, tears streaming down my face. I soaked my pillow. I cried until I turned numb, until there was no more tears, until the pain was gone, temporarily.

I opened my suitcase and to see a wrinkled up black Star Wars T-shirt and a photo. I smiled and brought the T-shirt up to my nose for Gerard's smell to hit me. I rubbed my face against the soft fabric and picked up the photo frame to see Mikey, Ray, Frank, Gerard and I sitting on the tiny couch with the purple unicorn. The photo was blurry but you could feel the happiness and joy that we felt that exact moment. Ray had his arm around Mikey, I was sitting on Gerard's lap and Frank was on the ground with the purple unicorn, Charlie. I hugged the photo wanting to hold on to that moment forever. 

"Hi honey" Interrupted my thoughts, I turned around to see mom leaning against the door frame grinning

"Hi mom" I embraced her in a hug

"Emotional goodbye?" Mom rubbed my swollen red eyes 

I nodded looking down at the photo, holding the T-shirt tightly in my hand.

"Awh, you all look so happy" Mom gazed at the photo

"We were" I said absentmindedly 

"You have a lot to tell me, let's make some tea and snuggle up on the couch" Mom leaned me to the kitchen

For the night mom explained how her and Malcolm got on so well since I was away. That he was a charmer and this and that. I blanked out as she went on and on about him. From what I could see he was a douche bag. 

"....He's also going to stay with us" It snapped my attention back to what  she was saying

"Why the hell would you do that!" I said in shock

"Because Lisa he's enthusiastic and full of life! It's what we need in the shop. He knows a lot about art and is very talented. He going to be working Thursday afternoons and weekends." Mom took a gulp of her black tea.

"Why Thursday afternoons?" I said leaning my head on my propped hand

"He had a brilliant idea to teach art lessons to kids for a couple of hours"

"I asked if we could do that and you said no!" I raised my voice 

"Things are different now Lisa. Anyway it's helping us in the money department as well" 

"How much is he getting paid?" I asked, getting pissed the more I heard about it

"Nothing, but he can have all the art supplies he wants for free, it's the least I could do for him. He's helped a lot since you were away" Mom put down her mug and pulled the blanket over her shoulders 

"Honey can you get the remotes for me, I'm too comfy to move" Mom asked as I got up

"There" I handed her the remotes. I went up to bed and got ready for bed. I was exhausted as used to British time. I looked at the photo and closed my eyes thinking about Gerard holding me.

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Oh no, Lisa and Gerard are apart again... I hope this chapter was good, I'm sick *Cough* Please leave your amazing comments! *Sniffs* I hope you're enjoying the story. Bye!!

Grace