Finding the memories 『𝙱𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚢 𝙱𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚜』

Chapter Seventeen

Trigger Warning - Detailed Nightmares and PTSD flashbacks

Bucky POV:

“Kill her,” he whispered into my ear. I looked at the girl standing in front of me, shaking with fear. Her eyes tormented with pain. She had no idea what was coming. I lifted the knife from my side. A cold hand grabbed my wrist. “Kill her,” he said more and more aggressively. She cowered away from me as I flipped the knife between my fingers. “What are you waiting for soldier?”

She looked up at me, the girl, her eyes locking on mine, I know her. A hair was brushed from my face. “You know me,” she whispered in fear as I stepped closer and closer to her. “You know me Bucky,” she stepped back but I grabbed her wrist tightly. She cowered back in fear as I held the knife to her throat.

“Bucky,” said Y/N, as I sat up in bed. She brushed the hair that was stuck to my forehead. I was about to kill her, in my nightmare. “Bucky, what happened?” she asked me. I sighed, before getting out of the bed and leaving the room.

Your POV:

You dropped your head into your hands as Bucky closed the door to your room. This was the third time this week he’d had a nightmare. The first nightmare he hadn’t talked to you about. It was the first nightmare he didn’t want to share. And that worried you. You couldn’t lose any part of Bucky again, and you didn’t want him to be afraid of himself. Bucky was a good person.

After a while, realising that Bucky wasn’t planning on coming back, you got out of bed. You pulled on one of Bucky’s hoodies before checking on George, who was still asleep. Nat was already in the kitchen making coffee, and Bucky was still nowhere to be seen. He was probably out running. It was easy to tell yourself lies.

Your eyes were trained on the elevator while you drank your coffee. Bucky still hadn’t appeared. “They say a watched pot never boils,” said Nat from behind you, startling you slightly, “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” you said, however you were terrible at telling lies, “Bucky had a nightmare, and instead of telling me about it he just left,”

You sipped your coffee as Sam and Steve walked into the room. So Bucky wasn’t with them. It was killing you not knowing where Bucky was, it was annoying you. Why wouldn't he just talk to you. Suspense. You noticed Steve typing on his phone, which was weird considering he never messaged anyone. And didn’t know how to work a phone. “Who are you talking to?” you questioned as Steve looked up from his phone. “Got a hot date tonight?”

Nat scoffed, “As if,” she said. Steve sighed before leaving through the elevator. You dropped your head into your hands again. “I’m sure Bucky will come around, don’t worry about it,” Nat said. It wasn’t so easy to not worry about it.

You spent the rest of the morning and into the afternoon sat on the couch. George was watching some kids show and you were pretending to pay attention, but you were just waiting to see Bucky. You didn’t want to push him about his nightmares of course. But you did want to, and need to, talk to him. Steve still hadn’t appeared from wherever he had gone. To be fair, you had hardly seen anyone around today.

It made you restless thinking about where Bucky had gone. “Okay you have to get out of the house,” said Nat, coming in from the kitchen, “You can come with me and Wanda, we’re going to a kids dance recital event,”

“As interesting as that sounds,” you said, “I’m good,”

Nat sighed, “It’s a public appearance, you used to scream at us to do public appearances,” she said jokingly. That was recalling a time when your life didn’t revolve around Bucky and your child, also the time when you cared more about running the avengers than your own life. “Plus you know, my whole dancer past thing, I’m coming to terms with it,”

“Hey come on, don’t play that card,” you said, “And I don’t care about your public appearances, I care about Bucky and the fact that he hasn’t spoken to me since this morning,”

Nat was silent for a minute, “I can tell you don’t care about public appearances anymore, you haven’t opened Instagram in a year,”

“I’m sorry that I have a life,” you snapped back. When Nat raised her eyebrows you sighed, “Fine, I’ll come, give me an eta and I’ll be ready,” you said, getting up, “I hope you know I’m giving up a busy day of watching Tv for this,”

“Be ready in an hour,” she just responded.

-----------------------

You stood in the kitchen, wearing a red halter neck dress. It was just after midday, and you still hadn’t heard Bucky, or seen him. “Hey,” said Wanda, coming into the kitchen, “I’m surprised you said you’d tag along,”

“Mhm,” you responded, messaging Bucky again. When had it gotten to the point that your life revolved around one man. That you didn’t want to leave the house without him. This is simp behaviour. When Nat finally appeared you decided to leave your phone. Otherwise all you would do is message Bucky. He clearly needed some time without you, as much as that broke your heart. You just wanted to help. Clearly that wasn’t what he needed.

On your way to the car, you ran into Steve. “Have you seen Bucky?” he asked you. Rolling your eyes, you opened the door to his car. “No I mean, he was looking for you, I’m assuming that means he didn’t find you,”

“He was looking for me?” you asked. You looked at Wanda and Nat, who nodded at you to go find him. You ran back into the compound.

When you got to the kitchen, you saw Bucky there, looking at your phone. “Hey,” you said, Bucky looked up, “Look are you okay? I know you probably don’t want to talk, otherwise you would have done, but I just, are you okay? Do you want to talk? You don’t have to obviously, but I’m just saying... okay Bucky, please interrupt me here,”

“Run away with me,”

Authors Note ❤️ : The first Episode of the falcon and the winter soldier, Oh My God. Im so invested omg i cant wait for next week!

I’m so sorry about how long this took to update. School took up a lot more time than I was expecting. Also I was thinking about opening an instagram account for this so I can talk to you guys because I don’t have any marvel friends but I’m not sure, so someone tell me their opinion lmao. Um yeah that’s it. Thanks for reading and I love you all 💞