All I Ever Wanted (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 23

Chapter 23

All my bags were packed and waiting for me in the hallway. The only thing keeping me from leaving was that Harry wasn't home yet. He had been out yet another night, and I hadn't seen a trace of him since this morning, which wasn't very unusual these days.

I was sitting at the kitchen table, my feathery hair messy from running my hands through it too many times. Even if I had thought about this for a while now, I still wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing. I had tried to tell myself that it was for the best, that I would be even more heartbroken if I waited even longer, yet I couldn't help but want to take my bags up to our room and throw myself into Harry's arms when he got back home again.

Staring at the surface of the table, I could feel tears brimming my eyes. Fuck, I couldn't cry. It would ruin everything. I had to be strong. I had to keep my head up and do this. Then I could cry as much as I wanted.

A few minutes later, the sound of the door swinging open was heard in the hallway, and it didn't take long until Harry entered the kitchen, his long, brown curls looking a little disheveled from his night out. He also seemed rather out of it, if the red in his eyes was anything to go by.

"What are your bags doing in the hallway?" He asked, his voice sounding alarmed.

I swallowed hard, watching his features. I couldn't answer him right away, but I could see in his eyes that he was slowly realizing what was going on every second that went by. He started shaking his head, his eyes narrowing at me.

"Harry," I sighed, getting up from my seat to be at the same height as him. "You know as well as I that things haven't been good between us lately. We never spend time together, we barely talk to each other. Hell, we barely even see each other anymore."

He pinched the skin between his eyebrows while closing his eyes, his jaw starting to clench. "But that's because of you. You always refuse to tell me what the fuck is wrong."

I inhaled a large breath. "It's not just that, though. There are other things too," I disagreed.

"So, what?" He asked, opening his eyes to stare at me. "You're breaking up with me?"

I furrowed my eyebrows, biting my bottom lip. "You know that this was never going to work, Harry. Ever since the start, when we were told we couldn't come out, we were bound to go our separate ways. We both knew it deep down. I know that you don't want to live like this, and I don't want to keep living like this either. It was stupid of us to think that we were going to last. I mean, it's been five years, and things haven't changed. What makes us think things will have changed in five more years? It's time that we realize you and I aren't meant to be."

I was pretty sure that was the most difficult thing I'd ever had to say in my entire life. I was surprised that the words even left my mouth without a stutter because my heart was breaking inside, telling me not to do this to myself or him.

The look Harry sent me was impossible to read. So many emotions flashed by his features that I didn't have time to register any of them. Then he turned his head away from me. "You're giving up on us," he stated, his voice emotionless.

I opened my mouth to explain, but I didn't trust my voice anymore, so I just let out a sigh. This made him clench his hands into fists, and the next thing I knew, he let out a loud scoff. "You know, it's not like I really care," he chuckled, making me furrow my eyebrows as my heart clenched uncomfortably in my chest.

He didn't care?

"What?" I asked in confusion.

A smile was now playing on his lips, and he let out a breathy laugh. "I don't know if you've seen it, but I've been out with a girl lately."