Tell Me What You Hate About Me

29: Need

"Here's this," I said and handed the silver talisman to Sierra. "I don't want it anymore."

"What? When did you get this back?" She got up off her bed and held it up to the drawing on her wall. "Or is this a fake and you're just trying to convince me there's nothing going on?"

"There is nothing going on, and it's the real deal. Dominic and I replaced it with a fake back at Butterfly's, and I—" I paused and let out a breath— "and I don't want that one anymore. I've got mine all figured out."

Sierra laughed. "Damn, Lindsay, how dumb do you think I am? You don't have your talisman figured out. Otherwise, you would be halfway to Aruba to spend the rest of your life there without working."

That was actually very true. "Well, not all the way figured out. I know that it gives me what I want, and all I have to do is bury it deep, deep down so I don't know that I want it."

"You wanted to give your sign language professor a heart attack?"

I paused. "I just didn't want to look like an idiot in front of Dominic again, and the talisman made it happen."

"You're a psychopath."

"Tell me something I don't know." I smiled, even though the ache in my stomach made it very clear that the incident was still bothering me.

Sierra looked down at the talisman I gave her, and then she looked back up at me. "You're telling the truth about this thing?"

I nodded. "I'm not a liar, Sierra."

"Thank you so much," she said before she burst into tears. "It's just that this is pretty much the first time anyone has ever actually accepted me into their group, and it's a little overwhelming, not gonna lie."

I let out a sigh. How did I always catch her when she was hormonal?

"Sierra, it's not that big of a deal. You're my roommate, and I promised you that one if I didn't want it anymore," I said.

"Well, yeah, but you'd be surprised how many times people promised to add me on Snapchat or invite me to a party or let me sit with them at lunch, and then it just never happened." She sniffled and wiped her eye with the back of her hand. "It's exhausting."

"I'm—" I paused. "I'm sorry about that."

I wasn't a stranger to being by myself either, but I didn't mind usually. People only wanted my parents' money from me, and it felt better to avoid the friends new expensive toys could buy. I never had to force my nose somewhere where it didn't belong to get classmates to see me like Sierra, though.

She smiled. "What are you sorry about? All I've ever wanted is for someone to just let me in, and I think I finally broke your walls down after a year and a half."

How was I supposed to respond to that? Suddenly every little thing she did made a little more sense. All she ever wanted was a chance.

I looked at her snotty face. She was pretty with her dark hair and long eyelashes when she wasn't crying, so what was it about her that rubbed everyone the wrong way?

Maybe it was just some magic emotional connection bullshit again. The two talismans really made things weird between Dominic and me with the kiss that I was definitely not still thinking about.

No matter what it was, it wasn't important. And although I was a little uncomfortable with the crying, at least it was somewhat a display of happiness.

"So we're officially friends now, huh?" She smiled and wiped the tear that was just about to reach her chin.

Ever since I started at Tillamook College, I considered Jack to be my only friend and Sierra to be just my annoying, nosy roommate, but if it would get her to shut up about her feelings, I was willing to agree to it.