scars are forever

Chapter 32

        I slowly make my way back to class, what am i suppose to do? why cant i just be like a normal girl, and have everything all planned out? my mind was wondering around when i reached the classroom door, i heard a slight irritated voice behind me.

"hold the door." i looked over to see Chris walking towards the classroom. i can tell he was trying not to look at me. he just took the door from me.

"get in class." he said Cooley, i walked in and sat down, he did the same.

i wanted to at least get him back as a friend, i mean he was my best friend! our best friendness was the best. i was able to tell him everything, but now i feel like i cant tell him anything. but than again that was my fault.

i thought of Chris and john, and decided to make a mental note to make a pros and cons list when i get home. granite john will be there too but i can find time away from him to do this task, i mean its good for me.

so the bell rang, and the first one out the door was Chris. i now understand that i was being bipolar, or whatever but, if he cant handle me at my worse than he surely cant handle me at my best.

choir went by quickly, i couldn't enjoy singing mainly because i kept thinking too much, about everything, maybe i was over thinking.

"hey you okay?" Beatrice asked, as we headed off for lunch.

"yeah, im fine, he can i ask yo something?" i stared at her waiting for a reply, when she just nodded.

"okay, well which one would you prefer, history and memories, or like new and learning?"

Beatrice stops and stares at me, "well depends what are we talking about here?"

"i don't know.." i said as i was looking down at my feet.

i was mentally yelling at myself when john rushes up to me and kisses me. i eyeballed Beatrice, to make sure that we will finish this conversation later.

"hey lovely!" john says as he picks me up and spins me around.

"hows your day so far?" i ask john.

"it was okay, i mean i don't feel like dropping out yet ha ha."

the bell rang and we all went our separate ways. i was heading off to P.E.  and on the way as i was walking through the hall, i saw Chris, standing in the middle of the hall, people were going in opposite directions, kind of like an intersection. i stop a few feet aways from him, but he doesn't notice me, mainly because he was looking for someone in the opposite direction.

the halls were starting to go empty, probably because most the kids were already in class, like right now i should be getting dressed for P.E, b instead I'm standing here in the middle of the hall, creepingly watching Chris standing across from me.

Chris puts his head down, and slowly turns around. he starts walking with his head down, he walks closer to me, he doesn't see me but i can obviously see him walking in my direction, and yet I'm not moving. i wait and stand there until his arm accidentally bumps into my shoulder.

he stops and turns to say sorry, but stops when he looks up and sees me.

what do i do? we both just stand there staring at each other. both looking not so happy.

he takes a step towards me, what am i doing? am i suppose to run away? am i suppose to take a step forwards also? i feel torn. i don't know which way to go.

Chris may not be able to hear my thoughts, but it looks like he can tell what I'm  thinking of.

"can we talk?" my stomach get that weird feeling when you re scared, or like when your worried.