Such Stuff As Dreams Are Made On

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Rehearing without Jack and Anton was ten times worse than any previous rehearsal

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Rehearing without Jack and Anton was ten times worse than any previous rehearsal. Jamie was struggling to run lights, curtain and still read off Jack's lines in time. She had a little trouble remembering our names and mainly resorted to calling us by our characters.

We weren't doing all that great of a run-through, either. Hugh tripped over one of the wooden trees. Novah tripped on her costume. Kai called for his lines too many times, and Shayna seemed transfixed, staring at one particular spot on the floor.

Even Carson wasn't doing much better. It was difficult for him to mime a choreographed fight as Charles without Jack as Orlando to fight. Jamie gave him a few pointers, but Samantha pointedly told Carson he looked like a drunk elephant.

Jamie looked so frustrated that she told us all to take a twenty-minute break when Jules missed their cue. Since Novah was trying to fix her costume, I volunteered to find them. 

Heading backstage, I attempted to locate Jules. They weren't in their usual corner chair, and they weren't in the green room. I finally found them holed up in the unisex bathroom backstage, clutching their stomach as they sat on the tile floor in front of the toilet.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Everything today was a disaster," they moaned. "We're going to flop at the festival."

"Jules," I said. "We're going to get Jack and Anton back. Everything is going to be fine."

"Rita, you're actually good at this," Jules looked up at me, and some of their heavy mascara was running down their face. "I shouldn't have even auditioned. I'm terrible. I'll mess everyone up."

I looked at my friend and smiled. "You're not terrible."

"If I go up on that stage, I'm going to hurl my guts out," Jules said. "I don't belong here."

"Rita," I heard Jamie coming down the hall. "Did you find Jules?"

"I can't do this," Jules said, moving to close the bathroom door, but I caught it with my foot.

"Jules is in here, Ms. Skylar," I said, and Jules sent me a venomous look.

Jamie came into the bathroom and looked between Jules and me. She seemed to read and understand the situation almost at once.

"You're nervous," she said. "I threw up before my first show when I was eleven. I was a singing spoon in Beauty and the Beast, and I thought I would trip all the other girls in a kick line."

Jules looked at Jamie strangely. "Really?"

"Everyone gets nervous from time to time," Jamie said. "Trust me, I've seen professionals get sick at a dress rehearsal or before a show. You just have to relax. I once forgot all the words to "Good Morning Baltimore" in my first open call when I was sixteen. It was mortifying. Jitters are normal. You just have to learn to work through them."

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