Behind Closed Doors

What Lies Beneath

Jessicas POV

"You saw the messages didn't you." Lauren says her voice defeated. I could tell in her voice that she knew there wasn't a lie out there that I would believe. 

"How could you talk about me so badly, and to my best friend at that. You are only friend with me because you pity me. Those messages go back for years Lauren, fucking years. You never grew the balls to tell me that shit to my face. Instead you got close to me and held my hand when I was breaking down about my parents marriage nearly crumbling. You found me when the stupid football team shared a nude photo of me. All of that was a lie?" I can feel the tears brimming in my eyes and my voice was shaking so hard I knew Lauren could hear it. 

"No Jess it wasn't all a lie, I just-" I cut her off before she could finish. "You just shared my nudes to the football team and blamed Sam for it, which he denied and we broke up because of you, you talked to Bryan, Jackand literally everyone in group chats about how repulsive you think I am. Yes you're right, you do actually care, it's obvious and I'm silly doubting you." I saw seethingly, the sarcasm dripping from my tongue. 

When I went snooping through Bryan's computer I discovered plenty of messages through iMessage I initially didn't even think to look but happened to see a text from Lauren saying some really nasty stuff. From there I couldn't stop myself, I had to keep digging. I compartmentalized it in the moment to focus on what was truly important but hearing Jessica's voice made it all come flooding back. She hated me, she said so herself over and over in the messages. I was called a slut, stupid, dirty whore, dumb bitch, and that's not even scratching the surface. Her distaste for me was so strange, I was constantly being mentioned when nobody else was talking about almost as if her hatred for my mere existence was her obsession. 

I don't want to hear your voice, I don't want to speak to you. I have done some fucked up shit to you, don't get me wrong. But this, never this, but consider us even, I found out your little secret and a lot more than that. Please please dont ever try and contact me again, oh and enjoy your little trip. I say and mash the end button as hard as I could. 

I immediately block her number, and block her on every social media known to man, I even block her on LinkedIn, as well as her email addresses. Exasperated, I drop my phone and I can't control the rush of sobs that follow. I can feel myself blubbering, Bryan mostly defended me but overtime I could see he got tired and ignored her constant talking about me. Worst of all isn't if he defended me or not but the fact he knew and never told me. We were ignoring each other mostly but when we weren't I was nice to him. God do I just have zero self respect I think to myself as I cry harder. 

Between my hard sobbing I hear a light knock on the door. "Go THE FUCK away!" I scream not caring who it is but being 99% sure its Bryan. I just cry harder, this time into my pillow so Bryan doesn't hear. I hear the door slightly open, I don't look up. 

"Do you not understand English you dumb fuck, go away. I want nothing to do with you Bryan, take a fucking hint for the love of god!!" I scream whipping my face up at he last part only to see Rosalina looking VERY concerned. My hand instantly flies to cover my mouth upon the realization that it isn't Bryan. "I'm so sorry!" I blurt out as I feel my cheeks flush. She looks at me and smiles. 

"Well you were right about one thing, my English does suck." She giggles, "But no not Bryan." Her easy going attitude makes me calm myself a little. "I'm not going to ask if you're okay, clearly you aren't okay. I'm a stranger so you likely dont want to talk to me. Best I can offer, maybe a hug and the fact that Bryan just went to grab food and he claimed he knew your order and that it is your favorite place." She finishes her sentence walking over to me and putting her arms out.  

I am not a hugger but I take it, I try and stop myself but the tears just flow even more into her shoulder as she sits down across from me on my bed. "I just want to be loved." I mumble quietly I am feel the oversharing about to begin. "My parents are so wrapped in their own drama I feel like I'm paid off to not get in the way, Bryan can't even be with me, My friend Lauren has secretly hated me for years and I don't know how to be anymore. Everything feels so wrong." I take in a big breath having said all of that without breathing.