just forgive me! (KuniKage)

Kageyama POV III

Hey lmao sorry for not posting in a while. School is super stressful and I've been recovering from some stuff recently so yeah, sorry. I'm thinking of unpublishing the book until I have all the chapters done and THEN posting it when it's completed but idk.

⚠️$u!c!d@l thoughts/sorta $elf h@rm/p@n!c att@ck⚠️

Anyways, CHAPTER 5!
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'What should I do?! Kunimi may be lazy but he hates when people are late! He's gonna be so angry with me!'

"Hinata!"

Hinata turned around, a questioning look on his face.

"I'm gonna be late if this line doesn't hurry up, is there an express lane somewhere?!" I asked frantically

Hinata nodded and pointed over to a shorter line, above the lane was a sign that read

'Express lane
15 items or less'

'We only have two items, so it'll be fine.'

"Let's head over there to the express lane" I said to the short middle blocker

He nodded and walked over to the express lane, basket in hand.

Now waiting in line, I spotted a familiar clump of bright red hair about 20 feet away from the us. Turns out, the red head also spotted us, he then quickly smiled, waved, and starting walking towards Hinata and I. Hinata looked at me with confusion and turned his to see what I was looking at.

"Oh! Tendō-San! Hi!"

"'Wassup red?" The 6'2 middle blocker smiled

Even though Karasuno had played against Shiratorizawa before, had never seen Tendō smile genuinely. In matches it was always a smirk whenever he scored a point with his block.

"Nothing much, just buying new clothes. What about you, Tendō-San?!" Hinata replied in his usual happy manner.

"Eh, just running from Wakatoshi-kun. I skipped practice yesterday since coach was sick." He sighed "And also I told you to drop the honorifics. We're friends after all!" Tendō lifted his hand and ruffled the idiot's hair.

Hinata then flashed his signature smile at the third year. I could tell Tendō was flustered by Hinata's smile but non-then-less he was able to keep a straight face. He smiled back at hinata and then turned to me. His face morphing into a displeased smirk.

"Ah.... Karasuno's number 9... How lovely it is to see you." He said to me through gritted teeth.

"Yes, it is such a pleasure to see you too, Satori..." I gave him a smile, though according to Hinata it was the 'Devil's Smile', I don't know what that's about but my smile isn't creepy. I called him by his first name to annoy him, but he didn't seem to mind too much. Tendō and I continued to have a stare-off, both silently agreeing that there was an unwritten rule that whoever looked away first lost.

Hinata must have noticed the tension between me and the knock-off Ronald McDonald because about 5 seconds later we heard a voice coming from the 5'3 middle hitter, "We need to go check out, Kageyama. bye bye Tendō!" Hinata waved to the tall red head as he walked up to the counter where a blonde female was standing. She looked like she wanted to scan our clothes and get done with her shift.

...

We left the store with two bags, one for my outfit and one for Hinata's. I pulled out my phone to check the time. I stopped in my tracks as I stared at the time shown on the screen.

4:34

'Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck' I repeated in my head, now I've REALLY done it. I sprint off to try and find the nearest public bathroom with the bag in hand. I can hear Hinata in the distance yelling at me but I don't have time for that, I just have to change and get back to the Seijoh gym as soon as possible.

I look around frantically, desperately in search of a rest stop or bathroom. After 30 seconds I spot a Yoshinoya restaurant about 40 meters in the distance. Without thinking, I start running quickly towards the Gyūdon restaurant.

'Man, all that running papa made me do as a kid really paid off'

I reach the famous restaurant known for their scrumptious Beef Bowls and quickly open the door and run to the restroom. It was a Unisex bathroom meaning there was only one person allowed in at a time, and thank goodness for that, or else I would have to change in a tiny stall. Not many people know this, but I am very claustrophobic because of something that happened in my past. But let's not get into that.

I open the door, slipping inside and hastily shutting the door. I open the bag in my hands and pull out the skirt and off the shoulder shirt, wondering if I REALLY should wear this.

'You shouldn't wear it'
'You look hideous'
'Kunimi will think you're a weirdo'
'Nobody will like you if you dress like a girl'
'Just die, or cut, your body isn't perfect anyway'
'God you are such a slut'
'Faggots like you don't deserve to live'
'Just go kill yourself, no one would care'

"Shut up shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP" I can't do this. I start to hyperventilate, violently shaking. I can feel tears running down my cheek. My hands make their way to my ears, but that only makes the voices louder.

'Just kill yourself already'
'Even Hinata wouldn't care'
'Sugawara wouldn't care, he'd be glad in fact to finally get his spot back'
'Tsukishima would get what he wanted'
'Daichi and Asahi wouldn't have to deal with a selfish ass setter all the time'
'Grandpa wouldn't have to take care of you'
'Miwa would be glad she doesn't have to compete with you anymore'
'Just die'
'DIE'

I hug myself, bringing my knees up to my chest and hiding my face in the arms, wanting to somehow shield myself from the world.

My nails dig into the skin on my arm, bleeding a bit. I then get an idea.

'It'll help right? Just a bit won't hurt.'

My right hand goes to my left arm slowly. I then proceeded to scratch at my upper arm, bits of skin falling off of my arm.

It hurt so goddamn much, but I continued to scratch and pick at my skin, feeling obligated to do so. It was like a never ending loop: crying, horrid thoughts, picking at my skin.

'Stop, please STOP THIS ISN'T GOOD-"
'Keep doing it. You deserve it anyways"
'No! Stop it Tobio!'

"Kageyama?"

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I FINALLY GOT IT OUT!
WOOOOOO!
The part about picking your skin was pretty difficult for me to write since that's always what I do when I get anxious. But I did it!
I'll try to get the next part out soon

Word count: 1137