200 Years Without The Cullens

Chapter 4-The Death Certificate

By the time we reached the Cullens front door, Carlisle had flooded me with so many questions that he knew of all of my findings. As we walked in, laughing, the hushed talk inside stopped. Everyone turned to stare at us - no, at me. Alice rose uncertainly, Jasper placed a restraining hand on her lower arm and she sat down again. Never taking her eyes off me.

"What?" I snapped. Was I some kind of subject of gossip?

"Bella. It's the death certificate. Look," she said, gesturing to the table.

I looked to the table and saw a death certificate, sent from Los Angeles. The text was not printed, it was hand written in fancy calligraphy. The document itself had a yellowing tinge and smelt musty although the paper was thick and new.

I looked up expectantly at Alice to see the importance of this and more importantly, why everyone stared at me when I came in. Alice was looking straight at me, as though x-raying me, trying to gauge my reaction.

"I'm so sorry Bella," she whispered at last.

I looked up at her confused. She was sorry?

"What? Why? I'm confused," I whined. It seemed that Lauren had rubbed off on me in more ways than seducing human males.

"Bella look at it carefully," Carlisle whispered in a measured voice.

I stared at the document again. I saw much the same as I had last time, but then it occurred to me to look at the writing. I scanned over the first few lines but could decipher little. Alice handed me a sheet of paper, on it she had written out everything stated in the document. Again, I scanned through quickly, looking for importance. The name Cullen stood out. I carefully read the sentence.

The cause of death for Edward Cullen is currently unknown...

I could read no more. I threw down the two pages and cried tearlessly and the corner of my eye pricked painfully. The hole in my heart that I had patched up was ripped open all over again, pain flooded through me again. Edward, Edward. He was dead. Dead. My brain couldn't seem to process the information, as though it hurt too much to accept, despite the proof otherwise. Clearly, I was not over him.

"Bella," Jasper said.

But today, my own emotions were too strong for even Jasper's tricks. I curled up and cried silently. I had stopped breathing. But life didn't matter anymore.

I realised, with a jut, that for the last 200 years, I had been clinging to the tiny hope that Edward would someday return. That I could see his face again.

I sighed and sat up. Esme was crying in Carlisle's shoulder and Emmett was nowhere to be seen, Alice and Jasper were just clinging, clinging to each other in despair.

"I don't believe it. I won't believe it, I'm going to look for him. Right this second," I hissed.

"Bella, dear, he's gone," Esme gestured at the paper wildly,"it's telling us. Right there."

"And you would believe anything a little piece of paper says?" I asked in scepticism.

"No," she hesitated, "Alice, Carlisle?"

"I-I-" Carlisle stuttered.

"I'm going. What harm can it do? Precisely. If there is any chance, Edward, is still alive, then it's worth it," Alice said through gritted teeth.

"Alice! Don't, please don't," Jasper said, nuzzling her neck like a dog.

"Jasper, he's our bother, I have to go," she replied irritated.

I left the room. Let them bicker, I thought. I thought back to the last thing Edward had said to me, 'it will be like I never existed'. I snorted. In your dreams Edward Cullen. In your dreams only. But if, once, we find him, would he still want me? I refused to let myself think anything more and Alice strutted out haughtily.