Twenty years old, two decades.
So many historical life changing events.
I can't even begin to count the amount of times the world felt like it was ending.
Whether that be from boy drama, to the globes issues.
It's gotten to the point where I'm wary of the calm moments.
Scared of the peaceful.
Terrified that I will mess up this time.
Yet at the same time I'm terrified that I'm in a coma.
Scared that I'll wake up as a 7 year old again.
Left to live everything out again.
Knowing that if I dont make the same choices, and have to live through the same pain that you wont be here in my life.
And it breaks my heart to think of that.
The butterfly effect is such a wild theory.
To think that I may get to some of the hardest times that I've experienced and I'd have the chance to pass through them.
Never experience that anguish.
And be the strong woman you see in me without the baggage.
But knowing that if I were to deviate, I wouldn't be a month away from moving in with you.
That I'd never dance with you beneath the stars as our song plays, with our bonfire on its dying coals.
To never drive all the way in to town for cheesecake after prom.
To never lay on the trampoline talking about philosophy.
No more hikes.
No more conventions.
No more road trips.
No waking up in the morning with your arms wrapped around me your head buried in my hair.
So if it means that I have to go through it all again.
I would.
Because I would know that in the end,
After 20 years
I'd have you, and that's enough for me.
