SPACES | 𝘯. 𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘯 (book 3) ✔

Chapter 133: Heavy.

[And I drive myself crazy
Thinking everything's about me
Yeah, I drive myself crazy
'Cause I can't escape the gravity]

      "Emily? What are you doing here?" I sighed, closing the door behind me and walking further into Aunt Rose's house. The small home that I always came to visit was just as it had always been. The couches, the pictures of Deidre, the really big T.V. 

      "Thought that Via and I could use some time back home. Is Deidre home?" I asked.

      Aunt Rose nodded, "Yeah, in her den."

      I nodded and walked past the living area and through the kitchen into the room on the other side of the kitchen. I pushed aside the beads hanging from the top of the doorway and stood at the doorway. "Well. I did it. I ended things with Niall." I said as she saw me. "Now I feel like shit for taking Via away from her father. But what good did it do? You know? He was never home. Not like she knew him all too well." I said quietly and walked over to her bed and sat down.

      "You broke up with Niall? I thought all those rumors weren't true." Deidre pouted, sitting next to me. 

      "Well they were." I sniffed. "All he did was make me feel like a bad mom and girlfriend while he was off with Stacey doing God knows what. What if I just ruined Via's life of having her parents around? I didn't want her to be like me." I sobbed quietly.

      "Em." She said. "You're not ruining her life."

      "But I am! I could've just tried to talk to Niall and fix what was broken but instead I just screamed at him and told him that I hated him. And now because of that, who knows what'll happen. He's a damn celebrity! He can take me to court, he can try and take Via away from me."

      "So what if he does?" Deidre questions. "You have plenty of evidence as to why Niall wasn't a good father for Via. There's all those comments and posts on social media. There's the boys to put in the way they saw the situation. If anything, you saved Via from all the pain it would've caused her to see you two fighting. You did the right thing, Emily. And I never want to hear you doubt yourself again." Deidre wiped away my tears and rubbed my shoulder. "Via is of course going to ask why her father isn't under the same roof, there's no question about that, but you can say the truth and tell her that you and Niall had a falling out and thought it would be better to not be together for her sake. Okay?"

      I nodded, feeling a bit better and trying to take deep breaths. "Okay."

      After leaving, I decided last minute to go to the cemetery, so I stopped by the dollar store and picked up some flowers for Gramma. I made my way past the hills and little ways out of town until I made it to her grave and placed down the flowers next to the headstone with her name and the dates of her birth and death. I breathed in sharply and stood back up. 

      "Hey, Gramma." I said quietly. "It's been a while since I came to see you, and the truth is, I think I couldn't bring myself to come see you. It's been a hard couple years, Gramma. After Via, things just went downhill and.. And I don't know what to do anymore." I licked my lips when I felt the warm tear fall down my cheek and let out a shaky breath. "Niall isn't my true love, Gramma. I know, I said that he might be, but I don't know anymore. He doesn't seem to be the father that he promised he'd be for Via. And he doesn't seem to love me back anymore. Of course, I knew it'd happen at one point. With my experience, I think the only people I know who's had such a successful marriage was you and Grampa." I laughed lightly before biting down on my lip.

      "I wish you were here, Gramma. I wish you could hug me and tell me that everything would be alright. Because I could really use some reassurance from you right about now. I'll come back soon. Looks like I'll be here for a while anyway. I love you." 

      While I was driving back to the house, I kept rethinking of all the amazing memories I had with Niall. It wasn't voluntarily. They just kept popping up one after another. Like the time that we first met where he introduced himself as Nail instead of Niall. Or my first birthday spent with him and the boys. My favorite was when we had confessed our feelings to each other and he used lyrics from a song and I caught him for it. It made me mad at myself that I couldn't just get over him. 

      I shook my head and turned on my phone, playing a random playlist on Spotify. A song played and I focused on the lyrics instead of anything else. Then when that ended, a song that I knew all too well played and made my vision blur again. 

-

      About two hours into the flight, Niall handed me an earbud. "Listen to this song." He said simply. I put my book down and grabbed the earbud, putting it in place. "Ready?" I nodded and he began to play that song that I'd never heard before.

      "Is it new?"

      He shrugged, "I don't know, but I like it." I nodded in agreement and continued listening to the song.

      "I really like it." I said.

      He nodded, "This might just be our new song." I smiled and shushed him to keep hearing the catchy tune.

      When the song ended, I spun my finger around a little bit. "Play it again." I said. He chuckled, but nodded and played the song over again. "I keep dragging around what's bringing me down... If I just let go, I'd be set free....Holding on... Why is everything so heavy?"

-

      I angrily shut off the music and tossed my phone to the next seat, but it fell to the floor. I leaned back into the seat, not bothering to pick it up and then stopped at the red light. It was then that the phone began to ring, making me roll my eyes and try and reach over to grab it. I checked the light again, it was still red. I removed my seat belt and reached over and grabbed it. 

      The car behind me beeped, causing me to jump up and start to drive again. But before I can get too far, the sound of glass breaking, the metal of the car crunching at the impact, and the squealing of the tires was echoing in my ears. The impact making me cough and the piece of glass in my torso made me not want to move a muscle. I felt the warm blood on my hands and my head begin to spin. I looked back at the phone on the ground. 

      It had stopped ringing and went back to the lockscreen and a notification appeared under the time, covering Via's smiling face. 

       One missed call from: Niall

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[Heavy- Linkin Park, Kiiara]

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A/N:

hi, you wanna yell at me and kill me. i know you do. don't try and deny it.

i'll see you guys later xx

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TPWK.

All the love, C. xx