Unable to let go, unable to run away | Kagehina Angst

Paradise just around the corner

*~Play "The Winter" by "Balmorhea" Hinata's point of view (POV)*~

"Huh? What did you say?" He asked, he raised his head up and looked at me a little confused but also sad - he heard what I said clearly, but didn't want to believe it. "Go home, Kageyama..." I repeated myself as stood up from the bed and kept looking down at the floor. "Did I do something wrong..? You promised you won't leave me, Hinata..." I look up only to see him with a sad look in his eyes "N-no! Of course now! But, you need to go home Kageyama.. Only for tonight.. Tomorrow, I'll talk to my mom a-and you'll move in and we could finally be happy!" I said quickly, stuttering a little. I really didn't want him to leave at all, I wanted to lay in his arms forever.. He stood up from the bed and walked over to me. We stood in front of the bed, he looked angry "Just for tonight... I'll talk to my mom a-and you'll move to o-our house! We'll finally be happy, okay?" I got closer to him trying to hold his hand but he pushed it away, I looked at him surprised by his reaction. "So NOW you're kicking me out after saying we'll be 'together forever'" He was now raising his voice even more, he was yelling "YOU KNOW HOW SELFISH THAT IS?! JUST ASK HER NOW!! AM I REALLY SUCH A BOTHER TO YOU?!" Tears were filling in both of our eyes. Unlike last time, I was yelling back...
I ignored my own emotions for days: believing they weren't important, I believed I needed to only focus on Kageyama's feelings, he was the one suffering, not me...! Therefore, it left scars all over my body... They were invisible, but they hurt everyday. And it was the result of my ignorance... These are the consequences of my own stupidity:

Even small mistakes can sometimes lead to very unfortunate things...

"KAGEYAMA IT'S NOT THAT DEEP! YOU'VE BEEN LIVING THERE FOR YEARS WITHOUT TELLING A SOUL ABOUT IT, SO WHY IS IT SO HARD NOW-" I shouted at him. But then quickly stopped myself as I realized what I had just said... My mom opened my bedroom's door, confused as to why we were making so much noise "Don't worry about it, ma'am. Thank you for allowing me to stay, but I'll be leaving now." Kageyama said calmly as he slightly bowed to her. He then took his shoes and ran out the door. It took me a minute to process everything that had happened, but once I did, I ran past my mom: put on the first pair of shoes I saw and was quickly out the door searching for the tall black haired boy. "H-huh..? t's raining really badly... How didn't I notice..?" I thought to myself as I kept desperately searching for him. I couldn't care less about my wet clothes! I ran as fast as I could to try and find him, but I was too late.. He was already gone.
I went back to my house and couldn't help but start sobbing uncontrollably once I got there as I fell to the floor on my knees, I couldn't keep hiding it anymore... It was too overwhelming.. And telling my parents was the best option, it was for both of our sakes... Me and him, we both deserved a break.

I sat on the couch in my living room, it was 10 PM now. It was still raining really bad.. I waited for my parents to return, I was drowning in my own thoughts and worries as I was waiting... They were discussing was to do about Kageyama.. Finally, they came back and told me their final decision! I ran to my bedroom, smiling, as layed down on the bed "Yes yes yes!! My mom will be contacting the police tomorrow morning, they'll arrest his dad probably and he'll move in with us!" I thought to myself, I couldn't hold my excitement! I so happy to tell him tomorrow about all of this, I know we had a pretty bad fight... But, it'll be fine, I just know it will! I remembered that I promised him we'll visit the ocean together! I can't wait, he'll definitely love it! I slowly started feeling my body become heavier and heavier as I passed out on my warm bed with nothing but happy thoughts in my head.

"Hey, Kageyama! Why is it so bright in here? I can barely see a thing.. Ohh, right! I wanted to tell you that you're moving in with us today! Everything will be fine, just as I promised!" I shouted excitedly at him, he didn't respond. He was only staring at me with no expression on his face, he looked like he was in a hurry.. It was strange, but that didn't stop me from renting to him about everything we'll do once he moves in with me and my family. But suddenly, Kageyama turned his back to me and started walking away into the bright light "H-huh? Kageyama? Where are you going..? Umm, everything is getting brighter, I can't see you!! Kageyama, why are you leaving in such a hurry..? Wait for me, WAIT!" I woke up, sweaty, as I heard my mom open the door of my room, she was half asleep "H-hinata! Are you okay sweetie? I heard a lot of noise coming from your room.." Her voice was calm and comforting, I used to listen to her stories for hours when I was a child! I miss those times... I quickly snapped out of my thoughts and replied "It's f-fine! Don't worry about it, go back to sleep mom" I stuttered a little "Okay honey, but let me know if anything else happens, okay?" She said already walking out the door "Okay! I promise" I told her trying to be as quiet as possible. She walked out of my room and closed the door. I let out a sigh "I didn't even have time to process the dream- no, nightmare I had... What was that anyway..?" I thought to myself as I stared at the wall for a few seconds before reaching for under my bed to get the ball I always keep there and started throwing it in the air quietly, hoping I won't wake anybody up.

"SHOYO, WAKE UP!!" A voice shouted, it was a women, she sounded like she had been crying... I was too tired to even speak. But also, I didn't want to...! My gut was telling me that something had happened, something bad..

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Author's note:

2 chapters left, LET'S GO. I am really proud at this story, I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I did making it. First time I have literally nothing to say lol, anyways, bye guys! Cya tomorrow ❤