Heart Attack • Shirbert

• 28 • futures, feminism, and futile

'I knew I loved you then,

But you'd never know,

'Cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go'

--

The beginning of a new year was always an exciting time to be in Avonlea. The minister, after a particularly long sermon, would invite the town to gather for a New Year's Day feast.

All of Avonlea was buzzing about the upcoming dance. The kids were beyond excited and their parents were relieved something new was going to happen. The people of Avonlea loved their home, but real excitement was rare.

Since the dance was on the horizon, Miss Stacy held more dance practices in an effort to put on a good show and please the ever-wanting Mrs. Lynde.

Gilbert and Anne were only getting closer.

To keep up his studies and be more than prepared to enter into medical school, Gilbert spent most of his time studying. Anne spent their break from school with pen to paper, writing out her article to the Toronto Star. She had done more drafts than she could count on two hands.

It only made sense they would do this side-by-side.

Anne would check Gilbert's knowledge by making up quizzes on terminology whenever he asked to evaluate his understanding. Gilbert read over Anne's work and helped edit it where he thought she could do even better. He had a pretty good grasp on the extent of Anne's potential.

When they were sick of studying, Anne and Gilbert would walk and talk.

"I can't believe we're taking exams in only a few months." Anne shook her head in disbelief.

They had decided to walk on the shoreline that day. The air was whipping at them, but it wasn't too cold out so they didn't mind. Only Anne's hair decided to be difficult as it flew everywhere and anywhere.

"I know." Gilbert pushed back his hair that also decided to listen to the wind.

"And then we all go off to school." She muttered.

Anne felt like she just settled in Avonlea. Now she was expected to pick up and move somewhere completely different. At least she would only be in Charlottetown with her friends and a train ride away from Marilla. That was better than nothing. Ever since Matthew died, Anne kept doubting her potential to go away to school. How could she leave Marilla all alone with an entire farm to watch over? Sure, she'd still have Jerry and Bash to help care for it, but she'd be down two helpers. How could she handle harvest season?

"It's all happening so fast." Gilbert gazed into the ocean.

Funnily enough, he was feeling the exact opposite of what Anne was. He was perfectly ready and satisfied to leave now. He no longer had his father and Bash had finally settled down and formed a family. It was time for him to live his own life.

Anne glanced at him, "Does Queens have a good medical program?"

Gilbert stopped walking. He hadn't talked to Anne about this yet, mostly because he didn't want to. Only Miss Stacy knew of his school aspirations.

"Actually, I don't know if I'll be going to Queens."

Anne's stomach dropped, "What?" She turned to face him.

He looked nervous, almost as if something awful would happen to him if he even attempted to explain himself.

"I've found another school where they're doing research on medicines that can prevent diseases called anti-toxins. Instead of forcing someone to accept a cruel fate, there are healing properties that can save lives. I want to be there for that. I want to help people."