How To drown On Land

7

//Hey lovees so this chapter can be triggering. the hard parts are italicized and you can skip those parts. I get it :) I love you all please read, only if comfortable love you, Asher Robin //

I'm walking to lunch planning on sitting alone. Micah didn't talk to me really today I don't blame him I'm weird. I'm not a good friend. I'm walking towards an empty table "Ryley!  Wait" I look over my shoulder and see Ethan running towards me. He stops "h-hang on g-give me a sec," he says catching his breath.  I look at him and smile a little. "We should eat together a-again," he said smiling a little, still wheezing. I laughed slightly and nodded, he began talking about some fan art he saw of characters from a show we both like. I listened and smiled. towards the end of lunch as I was cleaning cheerios out of my hair, ( the kid loves his dry cereal). "We should eat lunch together every day!" he said smiling at me. I nodded looking down at my shoes. I missed his friendship. "yeah okay " he beams at me brightly and walks me to class. 

I see Preston after school, being neighbors we arrived home around the same time. I'm climbing out of my mom's car and trying to be quiet. But my mom thinks me and him are back to being as close as ever. "Oh hey, Preston how are you doing today? You and Emerrylia hanging out today?" I cringe hearing my birth name. He looks at me with a "do you want to?" look on his face I shrug then nod. "Sure we can hang out. Here or my house?" I point at his house my mom has a creepy grin on her face. The twins both look like they're going to cry because  Preston isn't coming over. I knock them on the head  "Relax you guys can see him later" they look relieved and say goodbye to me as I walk across our lawn and cross over to Preston, who looks confused as to why my brothers got karate chopped on the noggin. I shrug and walk towards the door with him in tow. He opens the door and I go in. As I'm looking around, a flood of memories washing over me. The living room looks so similar I can almost feel the legos in my hands and hear the Star Wars movies blasting. I'm thinking about this and lost in the memories.

 "It's been a while since you've been over hasn't it, like what two years? I think the last time was when you.." I cut him off  "let's not talk about what happened last time I was here. Okay." He nods looking at the floor then walks into the kitchen I follow him still looking around. when suddenly something hits my head. "Shit! Sorry Ryley I thought you were paying attention." I rub my head and look down to see what hit me. It's a package of Scooby-Doo Fruit snacks I smile while looking at them and hear him laughing. I look up to see him smirking and winking at me. as he walks out of the kitchen  "Come on we can hang out in my room and play video games"

We went up to his room and as he opens the door I expect to find his Star Wars posters and his Dragon figurines everywhere. But i'm shocked upon walking into his room, he now has band posters... not a single Star Wars or dragon item in my line of sight. I'm shocked at his music taste. and go over and sit on his bed. he has a new comforter. It's dark blue, his old one was green. He looks at me smiling a bit. Why I have no idea. I look at him and point to the game system. He nods and walks towards and pulls out two controllers he laughs handing me the purple controller. it has a smiley face sticker on it from when I put it on it. He turns on the console. and I lose track of time kicking his ass at C.O.D. my mom texts asking me what I'm doing I send her a video of Preston complaining about fate liking me today.  I get off my phone laughing and sticking my tongue out to rub it in a bit more he tackles me in a hug and I'm smiling until all of a sudden the dark voice comes out making all my happiness leave. as the memory floods in its place 

"come on it's ok don't be scared"  his voice echoes in my ears. I look up at the man towering over me. " I'm good please leave me alone."  he keeps pushing me up against the wall, and soon I'm trapped. I try pushing him off of me. but he grabs my hands and holds them down. I try getting away again but he places his legs against my small body pinning me there. I have tears running down my face shaking my head as he.."

"Ryley!!" I hear my name and snap out of it Prestons hovering above me looking at me with concern. I look at him and realize I have tears streaming down my face. I try to sit up.  "Ryley are you okay? " I push him off me and start trying to get my stuff. "Hey take it easy.. Ryley talk to me!" He says with pleading eyes. Those words. He said those words to me two years ago. I look at him and wipe my tears off.  "Thanks for having me over Preston," I say forcing a smile. he looks at me.  "please Ryles.." I smile at him again and walk out. I hear him calling my name him walking after me. till I get to the door "I'm fine don't worry" he tries asking me again but I just walk out and go to my room telling my mom I'm tired and going to bed early. it's six o'clock. 

I'm in my room alone. My mom tried talking to me earlier, but I didn't listen. a little quiet voice in my head keeps telling me "I should text someone" that "Clara would come over if I ask". but Claras have already been over the past few nights. I hear my phone buzz. I look and see a text from Preston. 

(Preston): Hey, how are you doing? I'm sorry, idk what happened, did I do something to upset you.

(Ryley): I'm fine I told you already that 

(Preston): don't lie to me, please don't 

(Ryley): I'm fine I just had something come up.

(Preston): like PTSD or something? my mom said you were struggling with depression and stuff  Did I do something to trigger it. I want to know so I can help in the future.

(Ryley): that's why you've been hanging out with me! it's because of pity, isn't it?! I should have known. that's why everybody is talking to me. Acting like I'm made of glass or something. well, guess what I'm not. I don't need pity. 

(Preston): what are you talking about Ryles? 

(Preston) It's not that I promise.

(Preston) Ryley? 

(Preston) hey, come on answer me.

I stopped responding to him. he kept texting but finally gave up five minutes after I stopped. The darkness was all over me now. I needed it gone. I needed this feeling gone. I only knew one way and it sounded really good to me right now.

//OMGoodness 1305 words and it's done this is one of my longer chapters I hope you guys enjoy it as always feel free to comment and like it if you do. Also, I love you all thanks for reading it means a lot. anywho lovees I'll see you soon <3 Asher senpai //