will you be mine

The End

If you would have told me ludo would get married 4 years ago I would have laughed in your face but there he is dressed head to toe in black standing at the end of the altar. He's changed so much since I met him 8 years ago, he's really grown into a man he can be proud of. He was always kind and considerate but since the death of ark he's more a tuned to other people's needs and wants. He doesn't prioritise the band or parties above all else anymore, his family is now his top priority.

I look over at his 80 year old mother Shirley and can't help but smile, she's staring at her son with such pride. Only a few years ago they had no relationship whatsoever, I can only imagine how hard it was for him to reach out to her and beg for her forgiveness. It's clear she loves him, I barely know really her but just the way she speaks about him says everything.

Ludos side of the church is full but it's not full of aging rockers, the seats are filled with his family and friends. Of course there are a few tattoo covered rockers dressed in leather but it's to be expected really. Ludo surprised me when he said the wedding was going to be a small and private affair, I had my doubts but he really kept to his word. The church is small and decorated with simple white roses, it's not over the top its romantic and peaceful. It's a far cry from Chad's recent wedding, everything was black and red it felt more like a Halloween ball than a wedding but it was a great day.

Robbii and Chad stand by Ludos side, it still seems odd seeing them together with ark missing. It's been 4 years since ark passed but I still think of him daily, I know he's here in spirit as I can feel his presence. I often feel like he's stood behind me, more than once I've turned around and expected him to be looking at me. I'm wearing his black leather cuff around my ankle to honour his memory, I usually find myself wearing something of his.

The harps finish, ludo smiles brightly at the vicar and it's clear he doesn't have cold feet. He's ready to be a husband, he's ready to be my husband.

..................

"I can't belive we did it" I saw breathlessly as our kiss ends.

"I can, I've loved you since the moment I met you"

"I thought you said you saw me as a sister"

"I had to say that, my best friend was in love with you."

I smile sadly as I think of ark, even now I'm not sure if I'm disrespecting his memory by marrying his best friend. It feels wrong but also right. When we began dating publicly there was a lot of people who had something to say but all arks family agreed that ark would approve. Ludo even told me that he had directly told him to take me on a date when I was ready to date again. It's strange but I do belive ark is happy that ludo and I found happiness together.

"do you think he would approve"

Ludo continues to hold me tightly in his arms as we take our first dance as Mr and Mrs Smith. He doesn't speak for a moment, he opens his mouth to speak but my loud gasps stops him.

I move my hand from around his neck and pluck the black feather from his shoulder. My eyes pool with tears, I know this is a sign. I think back to ark telling me that any black feathers that I see will be him sending me a sign. I had argued that angels had white feathers and he had argued that rockers feathers were black.

"I guess that answers your question" ludo says with a huge smile as he tucks the feather in the pocket of his jacket.

"I guess it does" I laugh.

"I love you buddy, we both do. Thank you for bringing us together" ludo says quietly, I know he's a speaking to ark. I'm so lucky that he accepts that I will love not only him but another man until the day i die. I always thought you only got one soul mate but I was lucky enough to get two.

"do you think ark would approve of us naming our first baby after him"

"you can't name a baby ark" ludo laughs.

I roll my eyes and poke him in the ribs.

"I meant call our baby noah, it's unisex"

"yeah I like that, we will have to start trying tonight"

"too late" I say as I run his hand over my flat stomach. It takes him a moment to click on. His eyes grow wide as he realises he's going to be a father.

"baby Smith will be here in 7 months I whisper"

"I'm gonna be a dad, does that mean I need to cut my hair" he asks as he runs his fingers through his shoulder length locks.

I shake my head "no but you may need to start dying it, is that a grey hair I see"

Ludo looks horrified "I only got married 2 hours ago and I'm already going grey, god help me"

"it's only gonna get worse" I joke.

"bring it on, I love you Mrs Smith"

The end.......