Reincarnation to the Past

Chapter 47

Happy New Year, everyone!

Sorry for the wait; I didn't get any time to update till now. Since exams have started again, I will be going back to one chapter per week for this month. The updates will most likely be during the weekend. (I will try to update POA during February.)

Li Yǔ POV

Honestly, when you are born into this mythological lifestyle, it becomes very hard to believe in true love. I always did. I thought Annabeth and I had that but then she went and betrayed me. She helped Xander set me up and didn't even bat an eye during my execution. I'd hear all those stories about how the gods would just sleep around and leave, cheating on their spouses and I'd always wonder if that was love. Was it that fickle that all it needed was a seductive appearance to change one's heart?

"Does having affairs have to make our love any less true?" Hades asked with a troubled face. "We are immortals; sometimes we may need a change and unlike all the other gods, I don't see my wife for six months every year! Six months...for half a year, I am back to being all alone here without anyone but servants and a million dead souls. It was easier before Persephone came into my life; at least then, I never recognized the loneliness. But after meeting her, trying to woo her, falling in love with her, and starting a life together, only for her to leave my sight for six whole months, I bury myself in my work to forget about the loneliness but that doesn't mean it just disappears. Does that make me bad?"

I couldn't help but feel bad for both of them. Persephone leaves the underworld for six months, worried that when she comes back she will have lost her place by his side and Hades drowns in loneliness during those six months. Among the committed gods, Hades and Persephone may be the least likely to have affairs but that doesn't mean they never did.

"I don't think I'm in the place to judge. I've never been put in your shoes so I don't know what I'd have done in that situation." I slowly replied after thinking about it.

Hades (raising an eyebrow suspiciously): You have never loved two ladies at the same time.

Me (shrugging): Before Annabeth and I committed, I did consider others but not after. Even when my memories were wiped, I could recall her enough to know that I shouldn't look at other girls in that way and when my memories came back, I still only loved her... But I guess she doesn't feel the same...

"So if you could do it over, would you choose one of the others?"

I scoff at that idea, "No, one of them ended up being an oracle while the other ended up happy with someone else so I'd never want to tear them apart."

Hades: Even though they betrayed you?

I simply shrugged and took another sip of the coke. "Having your fatal flaw as excessive personal loyalty doesn't really help. Not to mention, I don't particularly enjoy hurting people."

Hades stared at me in shock and worry. "But I thought you were going to take revenge for the girl and her mother? Not to mention, you reek of death.

I stared at my drink and gave a sad smile. "I guess I didn't enjoy it."

I recalled those five goons I had killed, the henchmen of Huangpu. At that time, I didn't feel a bit of remorse or hesitance at all; it felt as natural as killing a monster. I was so overjoyed for the opportunity to use the sword that I didn't think about anything else.

Hades (gazing fixedly at me): You know, I may not be the best listener or advice giver, but I am here if you want to talk.

Me (smiling sadly): In the past, I've never attempted to harm a human, even if they annoyed the life out of me. They were always off-limits... But ever since coming here, I've killed ten people and scarred a woman on the face. It's barely been four months and I've gotten used to it too fast and it's not like I can stop. I didn't even flinch when I killed them!

Hades (interrupting): You can stop, you know... Judgment isn't your responsibility; naturally, those who have done evil will be judged and punished for their crimes. You don't have to force yourself to get justice for what those people did to the girl.

I sighed, "Do you know that she has scars all over her body? I've been to war, and I don't have as many scars! Do you know that since she was young, she has been fed poison? She was fed crap for fourteen years of her life! She was mistreated by everyone and betrayed by those she trusted. I can't turn my back on that; every day I have to see the body and if I don't bring her family to justice, I will regret it for the rest of my life. I couldn't stand up for myself in the future. I kept waiting for everyone to realize the truth but I was the one who was blind. It took dying for me to realize that if they cared even the littlest bit, they wouldn't have done that to me and that it was a mistake. I just submitted and accepted all the torture and execution for something I didn't do."

"Then hold onto that feeling... As long as you feel regret for the fact that you can kill without batting an eye, you won't turn into the monster you fear you'll be. Every time you see those scars, let it strengthen your resolve to get her justice, and don't stop until you do. And don't try to forget your past and everything that happened, because that is what helps you relate to the girl. Protecting those you care for and getting revenge for their sake isn't evil... And even if you turn into a monster, you have people who will pull you out. Take Sis Hestia for example; she'll beat you up until you turn back, and trust me when I say she's got the strength to do that. (grinning) And you have me too and Persephone and Hephaestus are backing you, so just do whatever you want with full confidence so that you won't have any regrets in this life."

"Thank you... You're actually a softie, aren't you?" I said as tears started to obscure my vision, to which he just rolled his eyes and took a sip of his drink. He helped a lot; talking to him made me understand why I couldn't stop, why I had to stand up for myself, and why I'd have to kill a lot more. Here, humans can be just as bad as monsters and there are countless examples of that but I won't turn to one because I have people who won't let that happen.

I recalled what Lì had said: "As long as I'm there, I won't let you..."

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(Here's a question: if you were born into such a family, what do you think your thoughts on love would be?)